I’m done

[MusicLover01]

Yesterday I got a text from my now x-boyfriend. The text said something along the lines of “I’ve been thinking of breaking up for a while now. I’m sorry it’s just a lot of weight pulling me down.” Mind you I told him at the beginning of the week that I have seasonal depression and that it had been kicking in really hard. I was talking to my friend about it today and apparently on Tuesday (I told him on Monday) he started flirting with other girls as if I didn’t even exist. Then I called him Thursday because I was having a mental breakdown (I’ve been stressed with school and my home life hasn’t been great) I spent 30 minutes crying and he declined my call 3 times because he was “playing basketball” when he finally called me back I was 20 minutes into crying and had called another one of my friends to help calm me down. I thought that my boyfriend would talk me through it like he tried to with my panic attacks but he kind of didn’t say anything. Then two days later (after we got out of school for Christmas break) I get the text from him. I guess he decided that if he doesn’t have to hear/see me cry or get mad then everything is fine but it isn’t. I’m betting he is hoping that after our break everything will be back to normal but it won’t. If he would have dumped me in person or over the phone then ok I would probably be ok with it but he dumped me over text and basically cheated on me so no. I don’t have many friends and it sucks to loose one more but I can’t still talk to him as if nothing happened and act like I think he still cares about me. The worst part of this all is that he had been thinking about “breaking up with me for a while” so why did he decide to break up with me while I was already at a super low point in my life he already knew that last year a similar thing happened with one of his friends dumping me (I didn’t get together with him until 3-4 months ago so I was over the other guy) when he knew I was super depressed and already had so much going on and I started cutting after he broke up with me because it just named things worse. If it wasn’t for one of my best friends I would be dead by now and with him knowing that why did he decide to wait this long!? Was it all for his sake so he didn’t have to face me!? And also why do I always end up picking the worst guys!? (Sorry, rant over)

[mvillarreal]

I'm sorry to hear that. What a crappy thing to do! It sounds like he's bought into the social stigma against mental health. The fact that basketball was more important to him than you is just disgusting! Take care of yourself, and give yourself time to grieve the relationship. At this point, if you have plenty of other friends, it will probably be good to spend time with them and maybe even have some shoulders to cry on. Did he say why he wanted to break up with you? It sounds like he has a thing about mental health, but you never know.

[MusicLover01 in reply to mvillarreal]

He said that it was too much weight pulling him down. I’m thinking by it he meant that I was pulling him down.

[Poodie in reply to MusicLover01]

It sound like he started a relationship with you when you were vulnerable and needy. Now I think he is thinking of himself first, not you. He is not mature enough to break up with you except by email which is selfish and cowardly.. I can imagine you’d like to tell him that but he does not want to allow you that opportunity.

He did tell you that he was getting worn down and he made a decision to break up with you. At least you got that much.

I got nothing.

I am sorry this happened to you. Even if he wants to get back together he is likely to do this again. Lots of people are not mature enough to think of the other person and it sounds like he is young.

Think off yourself. Write in here, get more support, make new friends and get yourself healthy. Put your focus on yourself. You deserve that. Good luck . Keep posting. I will follow you.

[mvillarreal in reply to MusicLover01]

Have you talked to him in person? I wonder if it would bring some closure to confront him about how his actions affected you? It doesn't mean you need to get back together, but maybe he will learn not to treat people that way if you talk to him about how he affected you-IF that's what you WANT to do, of course. It's not an excuse, but he may not even be aware that his way of breaking up with you via email because of your mental health was hurt you so deeply. If he knows how his actions affect others, it might teach him some lessons about how to treat others in the future.

[MusicLover01 in reply to mvillarreal]

I was going to talk to him as soon as we got back into school until I heard from several girls that he was cheating on me over a week before he actually broke up with me and I think it would be better me not go and talk to him since he is always with this “new” girl and I can’t stand either of them right now. So maybe when I feel less broken, torn down, and mad

[Poodie]

I forgot ... you definitely need to mourn this loss and grieve. Try to always recognize your feelings. I am sure you do feel quite sad. It took me a long time to get over being dumped and to learn to mourn my losses. Some relationships are short yet still important ones.