Why do I do this?

[Meyer_Gdmnx]

Why am I always giving myself reasons not to do things. Things that I think I want but don’t feel (emotionally) sure about for example I really love comedy and I’ve wanted to do it since I was very young (10) but now that I’m at an age where I can do it all I think about is how I don’t feel like doing it and how I don’t want to go to horrible seedy bars and pubs and dealing with agents etc etc why can’t I focus on the positives and just dive head first into my dream that I constantly question if it’s even my dream. Am I just kidding mystic am I no funnier than the next person. If I become a comedian would I even be happy? All these things bring me Great Depression and anxiety

[NWGal]

Are you willing to try it once just to see how it feels? Maybe an open Mic night. If you suck at it at least there will be other performers that will as well. If you don't it may just give you that push to go for it!

[NeuronerdDoaty]

A person should never leave this earth regretting not doing what was in their soul to do. In my soul I am a neuroscientist. I fulfills me. 30+ years ago as a young female if I had listened to everyone I would have lived a dreary unhappy life with a ‘job’. Instead I tried. I failed and succeeded. I had my kids help me and that helped them succeed in their level of confidence. All of this is another way of saying to follow your heart/soul.

Meyer, if it’s your longing to do this then I want to come be in your audience - success or flop night. There are no failures except not trying.

I’m not joking. I know your dream is harder than the first cuts I made. (There were surgeons and other doctors with me and it was a corpse but I could have failed in my whole career.) But you have to try. Don’t let your last thought at age 95 be ‘I wish I had......’

I’ll come clap for you. I don’t care where you are.

[Poodie]

I think it sounds like you are assessing the negatives. Seedy bars, for example, certainly sounds like a discouraging factor. Many you can find a way to ease into it. Sometimes you can try it out and ease into it by going to an a comedy club as an armature. Have you tried that ?

’I ve wanted to go to toastmasters and I’ve avoided it for a number if reasons, none of them very good reasons either. I am into a bad habit of postponing and avoiding moving forward with what I want to do. I am trying to work on it but getting depressed renders me inactive and the things I need to do daily just pile up. It seems like a vicious cycle I fall into. I am always trying to get caught up. Anyone else feel this way also ?

[RaisingArrowsMama]

Depression and anxiety are usually a product of deep rooted issues from the past, or issues we are avoiding facing. You can try to do anything you set your mind to, and even though it will not guarantee your success, at least you will not regret never trying and living wondering how it might have gone. I highly suggest talking to counselor and exploring your feelings a bit to see where the insecurity and depression is coming from. I pray you find the answers you are looking for, and the one thing I can say for sure is if you seek God He can truly guide you to your ultimate purpose and give you the fullfilment of your life.

[Hidden]

I vote that you go for it. Somewhere deep in the cobwebs of my aging brain... I think I read that many comedians suffer from depression, anxiety. So self doubt is natural. In reading thru your post, my inner cheerleader is screaming “ go for it”. This world is so dark and sad, why deprive us of your humor? As a nurse of 40+ years, I used humor a lot. Most patients thought I was the most skillful nurse. I really wasnt, I just made them laugh when I could. So please, get out there and bring some smiles in to our world of frowns😊