When I was with my boyfriend he didn’t appreciate what im going through, one day we broke up and he left the apartment when he came again I was trying to suicide by cutting my hands but I didn’t do it , it was painful so I took overdose of my medications. He hugged and made me feel ok and said I will never let you go. That was the best feeling ever , I felt safe .
After we broke up now again the first week was ok after that I was dying, I was texting him because he broke up with out any excuses, he said How can I get married with a woman have this mentality?. It was hurting alot , I thought he is the one who will be with me and help me in what im going through but that a big lie.
My friends calling me the drama queen when I tell them what I feel and how depressed I am. They making fun of me they won’t understand what im going through. ONLY YOU GUYS WHO WILL UNDERSTAND ME because you are on the same position with me.
Thank you all for the support.
Written by
NourD95
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Although I'm sure you felt very safe and secure with him, apparently you were not what he was looking for. As a guy I know how we use and leave girls, telling them everything they want to hear. It's not fair to say that girls do it too so it's o.k. for us. It's not. Males should be learning to respect girls more today than ever. Especially with social media spreading suicide stories, it tends to lead others to copycat. You're a girl, you are a special being. Sure there are lots of other girls, some prettier, some not. Be yourself, dive into studies, read books you like, anything to change who you are and what routines you've fallen into with him. They must all change. Anything that reminds you of him get rid of. Do not hate him, just dismiss him. If you pass just wave in passing, no eye lock. Ignore him otherwise and everyone will see you're over him. And other guys will come around. It'll happen again but you will learn. If a guy does not meet your expectations, kindly let him go. If he really likes you he'll try to learn what you want. I'm an old man, I've probably been through a lot like you. Only from a different perspective. If you ever want to ask me anything feel free to do so. I will tell you what I know or not if I don't. Take care, I'll be around.
thank you so much you gave me a positive push. Im a fitness personal trainer and nutritionist , so im trying to write a book about nutrition this is something i like and i can make my mind busy of. but anyway it hurts when you feel you have been used it really hurts. it hurts when you miss the person that you love and he stab you in your heart. its something above me some thing very heavy to deal with, apically when i have a border line personality disorder and depression. thats killing me slowly slowly .. never mind anyway am trying to be stronger and stronger.
Clearly others can't fix us honey.....and it takes a lot of hard work on our own to get help from professionals who can address our issues. If you’re suicidal....you need to seriously consider in-house admission....
Lay people are just not equipped with the ability to be able to deal with suicide attempts or constant suicidal ideation....they feel hostage to our issues and it's not behavior that any healthy relationship can usually survive. And it's not fair for us to expect them too either. I don't know what kind of treatment or meds you’re on, or not on currently, but it's paramount for you if you want to have some kind of a life. There is always hope for us, and many of us here have found a partner who does understand our depression, but there are limits to any amount of understanding if you’re attempting suicide....that is something that needs immediate hospitalization and interim care. Please get help.
Omg listen to my girl Fauxartist! She’s amazing!! Always has the best advice and will never let you down!! This group of people rock! You definitely came to the right place! Xoxo girls!
This site is the group but Fauxartist is like our mama! She’s so good at advice. I’m glad you’re here. Everyone is so nice! And you can PM me if you want. Private message is good too when you want to have more privacy and talk 🥰
People that don’t have this illness don’t always understand. I can’t tell you how many times boyfriends couldn’t deal with me or friends abandoned me because I was “too sensitive.” F them!
I finally did find someone who has stood by through thick and thin. He’s dealt with a lot of my stuff but we got married and that means through sickness and health! I take it very seriously. You WILL find someone worthy of you. Plus you are so pretty!! You rock girlfriend! You definitely have us!! Sick people need each other! 😀🥰
You are SO pretty! I bet inside too! It’s ok to have some bad luck with guys. I’m 37 and met my man 6 years ago. I’ve been in such messy relationships. But they each teach us a lesson!! You are going to be ok here girl! I can feel it!!
i do not need any relationship anymore im dooooneeeeeeeee
If that is your avatar then Heck Yeah you're pretty. And that's not just the old man talking, I feel like a teenager again. Anyway listen to L&LL42 , she's given me great advice. I'm not quite twice her age but she's been through a lot and you can certainly learn from her. Men are a dime a dozen, I assure you. Go out on dates with guys just as friends, or hang out as just friends with different guys. Play the field is what I'm getting at I suppose. It's alright to like a particular guy but be wary, don't get too caught up in your zeal. Slow and easy. And always remember: You are in charge. If he's uptight about it he's not for you. That's not saying be a beetch. Let him down easy, he may be having problems too. You have a great future.
My suggestion is not to tell friends what you go through unless you know they understand. Otherwise they make it worse. They are clueless how much pain we go through everyday.
Feel positive that you broke up with a friend who would not be there for you when you need. Be strong.
It is good that you know BPD. Many people with BPD don't accept it.
i had a lot in my life since i was kid , so with him was the last station . im sorry i cant do this anymore i had enough of everything , im so tired and feel that there is a wight over my chest.
hi, i listened to that song . while i was listening to it some girl came and set with my x boyfriend that was sitting in front of me 6 meters away in coffee shop.
Sorry to hear that. That is awful!! I know someone who has BPD and explained who she was absued when she was about 12 years. Though she thinks she does not have BPD or never agrees i know she has.
Anyway for no fault of your you suffer throughout your life. It hurts a lot even to think of such things.
My suggestions is to stay away from any relationship until you are back and strong. When you are going through depression, very difficult to maintain relationship unless partner understands our issues.
Good luck and stay strong. Things will always improve. My experience tells time is best medicine for all emotional problems.
Look, you have had a big loss. Whether he was right for you or not, you will mourn that relationship. Saying he will be there for you and then telling you he can’t be there for you, and him walking away is traumatic. Especially if you are someone who has abandonment issues to begin with. He made a decision which is his right and now you have to accept it. I highly doubt if he meant to hurt you and he probably sincerely wishes you good health. He will have to deal with the loss too. He was not the last station unless you make him that. I realize loss is awful to feel, but it is a very big part of life.
We do get tired of struggling. I have been very depressed and am trying to come out of it, so joined this support site recently. My depression seems to swoop in and take over my thinking. You know, like thinking things will never change or get any better. I am not good at handling too much stress and at this point I may never be good at it, but I hope I can keep trying to deal with what life throws my way.
Well that was a little interlude sprinkled in ! I really wanted to tell you that sometimes we repeat thru relationships in our current lives what we experienced and were unable to resolve in our early life. Feelings of sadness and loss may be very difficult for you. Pre-verbally as infants we cry and try to get our needs met, but it is nor always possible. It can depend on how capable our caregivers are.
It will not be easy, but with help you can figure things out. Focus on yourself and learn to love, respect and take care of who you are because you are a worthwhile human being capable of growing, of loving and being loved. Let yourself grieve, but don ‘t give up. Just step back and realize that now you need time to understand and help yourself grow. You will have time to form other relationships in the future. I hope you have the means to find a good, caring therapist if you are not in therapy now.
Hopefully sliding scale therapy is available if you need to go that route.
I hope this makes some sense to you. Life is complicated and far from easy. Best wishes. Please keep posting to let people know how you are doing.
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