My boyfriend and I broke up due to my terrible anxiety but to make matters worse, in my own point of view, he blamed me for it all. It’s hard dating when most people I meet don’t truly understand mental illness and that’s why I’m thankful for this site.
The last things he said to me were “I never felt depressed until I met you, but I still love you”
“You’re selfish” “You left the best guy you could ever have” “No one will love you like me” and so forth that I don’t even want to remember. Yet he would look away from me when I’d bring up things that happened to me at work and didn’t seem too interested. He’s also said what goes on in your life has nothing to do with me. This has been difficult because I thought that was what partnership was all about. I’m so numb, I guess it hasn’t hit me that I’m alone. I’m also almost 30 and I have dreams of having kids and a healthy family to. But how could I now? Thanks for reading if you have made it this far.
Thank you for your reply.I am having therapy on Wednesday and I am going to mention if there is anyway GASLIGHTING can be more highlighted because we see plenty of crime programs and etc but there should be more programs on psychology.
I looked it up and I also believe he was gaslighting the entire relationship without him being aware of it. To him, he’s perfect and the blame is all on me. It’s heartbreak I would have done anything for that boy and the effort I put in… it was for nothing..
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Thank you for the support and I’m sorry you went through something similar, chase.
Thank you so much for your support Grneyes 🤍 It does feel like a relief but your mind gets so used to a person being there. I knew he wasn’t compatible or right for me but I’ve tried so hard to make it work. His words would just stab me like a knife and I chose to be alone from now on.
Another thing, you are so young you have PLENTY of time to get married and have children. You are just getting started in life. At 30, I wanted to shake things up in my life so I moved by myself to a country for 18 months in which I didn't speak the language. It wasn't easy but it was an adventure. My point is that you have so much in your future to look forward to🙂, try not to let your mind get twisted by someone who isn't even compatible with you🤔
Wow that is very spontaneous and I’m sure you had some amazing experiences from that. I’d love to adventure to a new country. You seems like a great person grneyes. Thank you again for your support 😊
Sorry but why has someone changed mental abuse to gaslighting? As that's exactly what he has done Wilsgo. And I'm sorry that you've met someone who never possibly ever put u before anything else in his life.
I truly believe none of us have any ownership or rights to anyone EVER.
Yes we can love people & even then I feel there are degrees of love too.
If you love someone & they love you back then you walk in step on the road of life, you put each other first then urself equally first too , u both communicate & u talk about anything. We now use words like partner which is a person with shares in the same love life as you have. Equally too.
Without communication you can't build trust & without trust no love what so ever!! Obvs he is a narcassist as he blamed you for almost everything wrong but it wasn't you it was all him but as any narcassist will do he blames everyone else around.
I see ur side of the story but ur story is a simple fact that ur ex is a no good SOB & U have dodged a massive bullet.
Now anything to do with him get rid of & get some white sage & go around ur Place to get rid of his negative vibe. And of course remember this as a massive lesson that when someone nay ANYONE tries to blame you for their issues u kick them out or if its their place pack ur bags & walk & if they say no one will love you say maybe not but neither do you so I'm already on my own. Then I will always suggest what I did & that was STAY SINGLE & learned about me & learned to understand why I allowed others to affect me mentally but now I'm so happy, I know who I am & the fact trust is something as big as honesty for me means I can turn on a penny & walk away from anyone who is a negative force & is trying to make me suffer.
Learning to adapt isn't easy & it's a long road but I would suggest you build ur spidey senses & tune them into BS speak.
When u hear any BS from anyone u put them at arms length. White lies & no such thing as a little (any coloured) lie, a lie is a lie end of.
I hope this makes sense as I may have rambled on , gone off on a tangent or both.
I appreciate your wise and comforting words. It didn’t sound like rambling at all every word helped me during this time of confusion and emptiness. Thank you D - Dhanda. I’m glad you are on this forum!
See ur example is exactly what I mean that it was he who did all the wrong things & it came from somewhere within him & ur free & I would say work on you & getting over his abusive ways as the next gentleman may pay the price for the other persons fault BUT if he is a supportive kind he will understand & as it involved ur live he would get angry too & hopefully you will move forward with the right soulmate & u have 200 babies lol
Gaslight is a type of defense often used by narcissistic people. So is deflection, put the blame on on someone else door their mistakes. & diversion, you did this so you have to let me do whatever. This is used a lot in physically abusive relationship. If you wouldn't have made me mad, the old school answer to that is, "I don't make monkeys, I sell them.
Thank you for the explanation Kitten, but mental or physical abuse should remain those words for the impact of both are deep but the mental abuse can be carried by the victim for ever & some honestly can't get over the abuse & calling it something is a disservice to every victim but then maybe I'm out of touch . Thank u again for the explanation Kitten.
Good answer.I am thinking of that cliche that we cannot always see what is under our nose.
Luckily I didn't love my gaslighter.
Hi! Hey, forget about that guy and just try to move forward. Be okay not dating anyone for awhile!!! Sometimes relationships are more drama than their worth.
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Thank you so much googoodollsfan I agree with you on that one. It’s extra stress than necessary
This man or boy was not right for you. Of course you listen to your partner and what has been going on in their lives / he sounds so selfish. You are just 30 you have the time to find someone special. Find out what you want in a relationship some short time therapy could be good for this. Know your worth. He wasn’t worthy of you/ enjoy you for a little while. Practice your interests through interests the right people present themselves good luck
Those things he said were classic Gaslighting, putting the blame on you, and the disinterest makes me think he was using you for a home, not as a partner. Red flags galore!
Good morning midori, your words are very comforting and make me feel like I did make the right decision. Sometimes we don’t recognize red flags as well as people on the outside looking in can. Thank you for the support.
He doesn’t seem like a real love. Real love will be with you through thick and thin. He seemed cold by saying you make him depressed no one can make you depressed. He wants an excuse to breakup.
When you find the awesome partner of your dreams. I bet you will be glad that bf is gone lol 😂.
You have us you don’t need cruelty.
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Thank you dissapointegirl I’m so glad ppl like you have joined this site. I feel very supported.
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There are too many good people lol Damand his butt to change. He will. Or he can bounce. Cause another man will
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Stepping Away from my Comfort Zone
My Life Story. Contain’s sexual abuse please be Aware 
Just so sad
What’s in my mind and how I hurt myself is annoying shit
anxious 
