Am I the drama?

[BrownEyesBlue]

I recently posted about a situation I’m going through.

There was a confrontation between my sister and I about her adult son and his girlfriend. She’d been my father personal care worker but due to issues, she left the job when she didn’t get her own way.

I was upset. I confided in my friend and my fathers other pcw. My sister was very irate and brought up reporting to the company that handles my fathers home care about his care. He’s taken care of, quite well. She threatened Dads homecare, and this other lady’s job. She also made disparaging comments about this woman and her family. I was extremely upset and this woman was there for me and upset herself at how far my sister had taken it. So she, and her mother, confronted my sister.

Now it’s all turned around on me and how I hurt her. It was a “private conversation between sisters”. Was it private if her 3 children and her sons gf were involved and attacking me?

This was all blown way out of context and now she’s keeping it up and trying to pin it back on me; once again, not dealing with the real issue.

Am I at fault? My mental health is not the greatest right now. My minds in overdrive. I will stand strongly by the fact I did nothing wrong when it came to standing up for my fathers care and well being. The things said to me were horrible. I could never allow them back into my life. Their toxicity is off the charts.

Thank you to everyone who listens and responds.

[BrownEyesBlue]

Anyone? Anything at all?

[Jay757]

From my experience I find that when I get anxious it can certainly accompany intolerance of others. I try hard to empathize as long as I'm not getting pushed around. Perhaps this is helpful.

[Good_for_us]

I don’t know the details of the things that were said, and I don’t quite follow all of it, but I think I have the gist. I don’t know if you were at fault, or partially at fault, but I do know it isn’t fun to get ganged up on, which is what it sounds like happened with your sister and her family. Sister stuff can be very painful. It’s probably best to not swear her off forever, but agree to step back and cool off. Glad you dad is receiving better care now.

[Tara52]

So sorry for all of the hurt involved. Is there a professional third party that can get involved to help sort out some of these deeper family issues? It sounds like the priority right now is your fathers ongoing care with the least amount of drama. It doesn't sound practical right now to close the door entirely on your sister. I can see that you definitely need a "cooling off" period though. There will have to be some forgiveness offered on both sides. It is a very emotional worrisome time when a parent is ill. I will be praying for God's wisdom and peace for you and your family. Happy Thanksgiving, so much to be thankful for.!💗🙏

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to Tara52]

I would gladly have a professional third party be involved but my sister doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong; she’s right and everyone else is wrong.

I’m thinking of my Dad. She can see him anytime she wishes but I will not be there. I am his primary caregiver. She visits every other month and feels she knows best. My Dad It’s my priority and always will be.This is not a new situation with my sister. She has pulled this for years; I’m just her latest victim. I’ve been her victim more than once. This woman is toxic and sadly she’s taught her children to be just as toxic and feel entitled. Its a never ending a vicious cycle. She could care less that I was going to hurt myself over all this and when I said I just wanted to end it all, she laughed and told me I was looking for pity and attention. Yet when she claimed I hurt her, I was suppose to comfort and apologize. The damage is done. She’s shown me who she is too many times.

I’ve tried. I’m done.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so much as well ♥️