Relearning the good habits

[Kevin160]

I realized that i forgot the most important thing i learned here, today i had a terrible anxiety attack , i spent this whole week trying my hardest to not feel the panic and to resist it as far as i could

And i forgot all what i learned about accepting it and dealing with anxiety rather than avoid it or run away from it

I reached a point today where i started to question if i even made progress throughout those last 11 months, but when i remember that my bp wouldnt go down from the constant panic , where i couldnt even stand a second alone without getting my heart pumping out of my chest in fear, and when i couldnt get through the smallest social event, or walk down the street, or drive , or do anything im not used to , where the anxiety would never stop and i felt hopeless every night and day, where i would carry my bp monitor everywhere and would fear to do anything because of my severe health and general anxiety

But im not where i want to be , i want to now worry just because i have a doctors appointment, or i have to do a speech , or stand up for myself and handle conflict , i want to be free , dont get me wrong i do all those things, but the DIFFERENCE is that i do them without being comfortable , i panic endlessly before for no reason, i worry about saying a couple sentences in a play because my anxiety makes me assume the worst which is not even the worse because its unrealistic and not logical

As soon as im settled, i did research through local therapy centres and im going to go to one as soon as i can, im just a bit relieved that im still nit giving up , and regardless of all the crqp im going through im dissapointed but i still dont mind staying hopeful, because i know there is a way out

[Hidden]

Keven, let me put it this way, you know what is expected of you, you also know appointments are there to touch base and get you pushed back on the road you were taking in the past. Yes I do understand Doctors appointments can be a trail, although whoever you need to see will know you and understand how you may be feeling

Just because you basically were sorted before sometimes we need to revise what we know what to do, you need the confidence to move back into your comfort zone and gain back your confidence so you can move on in a more positive inclusive way. No problems there you consider your needs and expectations and go for them , with the understanding that those around you needs to see you grow and move one once more

You seem to know what you need to do, Do it

BOB

[Kevin160 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for all the support ❤️, i just need reassurance all the time which bothers me, that im not really able to convince myself that the worst case scenario isnt realistic and unlikely to happen , because i can either go weeks with no anxiety or it being constant all the time , no in between :/

[Jeff1943]

You are doing well. You have made a great deal of progress. You understand now. Nobody can ever take that knowledge away from you.

You have caught a glimpse of the promised land and you too will get there one day. Doesn't matter when. You will never give up, I know that.

[Kevin160 in reply to Jeff1943]

I just went without severe anxiety for months, i reached a point where my anxiety is there every few days or weeks but its not as severe as it was controllable so i would always brush it off because i was in a place where i actually was able to prioritize things other than my anxiety, so as things started piling up i started losing control again. But im gonna get there

[Sprinkle1]

Hello Kevin, you poor soul, I can relate anxiety is awful, I have been going thru it along with depression, it would paralyze me some days, the fear was so bad. I went for help, Dr. changed my anti depressant to one combined with anti anxiety property. I re-read mybook by Dr. Claire Weeks, Hope & Help for your Nerves, it is really Very helpful if you follow her lessons and read about how to deal with the thoughts/feelings the anxiety causes. I understand it is available on Amazon, new/used, I have a copy I have had for 30 years. My Dr.

agreed to give me a short time on Lorazepam it is Very helpful, but is a controlled substance and we have to sign for it. If you can seek out a therapist who specializes in anxiety, I have one and she is wonderful, we do not talk about my past much, but concentrate on how I am feeling, thinking and what I can do to help myself. So be good to yourself, do not use put downs, I hope you love yourself that is a help, get plenty of rest and sound sleep, go to your Dr. knowing he/she is there to help you get well. Seek out people who understand and are caring, we need love & support. Write to

us here we will do our best to help you. Oops, my cat jumped up and messed up my writing!!! Do you have a pet? I have 2 cats and love them dearly, they are a source of comfort for me. That is all I can think of now, so I send you Peace, comfort, strength, love & hugs....Sprinkle 1....

[Kevin160 in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you so much for the support , i appreciate it so much

The main thing i heard when i joined this forum in january was claire weekes , i was in a constant state of panic due to alot that was happening at my life then and i just cracked where i became so sensitive to every single thing small or big

It took so long to apply to the acceptance method , Face accept float through and let time pass, these became less scary overtime , i was able to let go to the fact that im safe, external factors didnt feel like threats anymore or atleast not as bad and scary

I did so many different things this year and it was a crazy rollercoaster so i was a bit proud and dissapointed so many times. I eventually reached a state where i felt almost back to normal after so many realizations, and support and methods like meditation, breathing techniques, acceptance method and alot more etc...

But i guess as i got better i started to let things pile up again , i shouldve kept working through even if i felt better but thats ok i will keep working through because the fact that i have complete faith that there is always a way out regardless the hopelessness im feeling because i experienced rock bottom and got out makes me feel like almost all the way out

Ps. Yes i have a dog he i love him so so much and he has helped me through so much

Again thanks alot

[Jeff1943 in reply to Kevin160]

Weekes says to expect set backs but three steps forward and two steps back is still major progress.

[Junella]

Yes, you will keep improving. These periods of life come and go for many of us. Realistically it is normal to feel uncomfortable with all the things you mention. Give yourself a break, it's not unusual. But sensitive people like us let them get to us, and panic attacks are pretty scary. I remember them from the past. But we know they can't harm us. Yes, I developed hypertension from years of anxiety too. The first was triggered by a medical appointment that turned out to be nothing. But couldn't get past it. Later the panic spells stopped when I was discovered to be hypothyroid.

You have learned the techniques for handling it. Having a support group, a healthy lifestyle and a spiritual component are what helps me.

[Kevin160 in reply to Junella]

Im not gonna lie i felt a little anxious as i was reading this, gave me a little taste of how it felt a year ago where the same thing happened , a doctors appointment caused this cycle triggered it, it was a blessing disguised as a curse , and it was a hard journey but it taught me alot

Im happy i learned so much but as u said i have the means to handle it

[Agora1]

Hey Kevin, the responses are from some of the best on the forum but I thought

I'd add my 2 cents in because I know you and have believed in you. When I read

your post, I got the feeling like you are fighting with yourself.

The rational part of you knows it's just anxiety's bluff playing with you plus you

know how to counteract the symptoms. But the irrational part of the brain keeps

taunting you and saying to you "what if" "what if". Of course when the event is

over, we walk out of there with confidence and proudness that once again we

beat anxiety by doing it even though uncomfortable. And isn't that the best way

to go forward? You did well my friend. Keep on the path of wellness. xx

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

The thing that saved me when i felt the lowest of lows , so hopeless (besides all the support ❤️)...was the fact that i always felt better eventually, the realization itself that regardless how bad something is you can find so many ways out when you thing its a locked door is a breath of fresh air.

So now i always feel scared but rarely panic because im used to being anxious but not used to being hopeless anymore

As i always feel that i can learn something new to help, first it was therapy , then meditation , then meds, then breathing techniques, then podcasts, then foods , then exercise, then crystals , then PMR , then etc...i always learn something new and find hope in myself and others

THANK YOU AGORA1 ❤️❤️

I hope you know that even when im this anxious i have changed so much this past year and i have grown so much mentally. When i joined here i would fear being alone, i would carry a bp monitor with me , i was ruining my life physically and socially , i was in a constant state of panic, atleast now i only get anxiety when i have an actual stressful situation (I actually go weeks without anxiety sometimes!!) and it cant be compared to what i felt before because now its mild and manageable. Im putting myself in stressful situations because im daring myself to which is good, im making changes and because of you im heading into the right direction , beyond grateful ❤️