Current mental health status

[Mia_love]

It was 2 years ago all this started . I haven’t yet figured yet why and how this happened to me . I thought they are just some depressive episodes theyll pass by but rather it got worse over time . I started having contant negative thoughts which worried me a lot later the negative thoughts added up with suicidal thoughts i didnt say anything about what i was feeling about my depression to anyone because i knew thed be extremely overpossesive about me again which i didnt want and that would also worry them a lot , it would have stressed them more .i even tried to to do that but i didnt have enough courage to do it . Maybe having low courage saved my life that day .

I consulted doctors but that didnt work out with me. I also tried naturopathy but i didnt feel any different . Currently i am having strong feelings of running away from home and starting a new life, starting fresh over again, giving myself a second chance to live my life because the one thing that i understood from these days is that nature is beautiful the world is beautiful . I can no longer take this anymore ... when i go to school i feel as if a dead body is being dragged to school against her wish . I have a father who says hed help me but i dont want him to go through everything because of me ..

I just hope that i might feel better talking to the people who undertands what i am going through coz they have been through the same sometime in their life .

[nicetry]

Hi. Your story is so familiar to me — my problems started when I was 15 (I’m 46 now). I threw myself into overachieving at school to “forget” how bad I felt. I had two suicide attempts/hospitalizations, one after high school & another in college. I don’t know how the hell I got through grad school — it’s all a blur in my memory.

Anyway, I’ve tried lots of medications, some worked and some didn’t (it’s a lot of trial and error). I have a wonderful therapist to talk to.

My point is — please don’t run away. It won’t solve your depression. You need a psychiatrist who can prescribe different meds until you find one that works for you, and a therapist. (I don’t know if you’re in the UK or US — I’m in the States so it’s easier I think to “try out” different doctors)

And try not to worry about how your family or anyone might react — that’s out of your control. You can only control how YOU react to their reactions.

Take care of yourself. Your body is telling you something is not right — listen to it!

Wishing you peace and love.

[Mia_love]

Thank you ..

But when i think of my future its just going to be the same as i now unless i go somewhere else . I have my exams coming ang i have to do the whole year work in just a few months .. homework completing notebooks ,worksheet submission ,projects and i have to study the whole year portion . I dont know how the hell on earth am i going to do that . When i think of all this these thoughts just run me to do crazy wrong things ...

[Chanshan in reply to Mia_love]

When you have mental health issue, you should not worry too much about your exams. That will further deteriorate the condition. First take care of your depression and try best in your exams. If you can't do, there is always next year. But remember to take care of yourself first.

[NWGal]

Was there a specific event that happened a couple of years ago that might have been a catalyst for your depression? My research tells me that 50% of adults with depression report their first depressive episode before 18 years old, so this is not too unusual. Sweet friend, I know you're not keen on mental health therapy but I would really take your dad's help. Know that you are not alone in this - my depression began around 12 and I'm still around at 64 and life is pretty good with therapy and meds.

[Sprinkle1]

Hi, I agree with the other reply's. You Have to think of your own mental health and well being. Let your Dad help you if he can. Find a therapist who specializes in depression. I have a wonderful lady, she has helped me SO much, and I am 77. I have suffered with depression on and off my whole life, and I do not want any more. So treat yourself, find the help you need, you may need medication for a short time, do it. I have been on antidepressants for years, some worked some did not, we recently switched mine and it is working. Let me tell you if you run away from home, that is all you are doing, where ever you go your brain is with you with the same messages. I tried suicide twice in my life and was caught, so then I made an agreement with myself, no matter how bad it got, I would not do it again. It has been a hard battle the last 3 years and I wanted to kill myself, but I had my promise and 2 cats I love dearly, plus I gave my gun to a friend for safe keeping. So yes life can be hard, especially for us who suffer depression, I understand that there are 20 million in the US each year that have this illness.

So we have to fight to get acceptance and get more Dr's involved. My Dr. told me last we we have lobbyists in in the house who are pushing for mental health care. Wonderful. So as the others answered you, Take Care of Yourself 1 st you will get your life back, and hopefully have no more of these episodes. I send you strength, self love, believe in yourself, this will end. With love and hugs.Sprinkle .

[growinrace]

hello! do take your dad's advice. as a mom, I would do anything to help my children, even if its starting over and help them go through the process. My daughter experiences anxiety and stress because she didn't know how to channel or handle it. we decided to talk daily, if no words would flow we would stay quiet together, we also read devotionals, podcasts from Christian ministries, attend church and most importantly pray. Do try to seek help, a therapist can help you. but don't keep it away from anyone please. Your life matters and you are so precious, take it a day at a time. I am glad you are on this forum, please continue to let us know how you are doing! These pressing or hard moments, shape us to grow in many ways.