It’s been on my mind more so today that my sister said I didn’t like her daughter, my niece. That I knew it, she knew it and her daughter knew it.
I have never once said any such thing. And it bothers me. It bothers me that my niece makes snide comments and is somewhat turning her own daughter again me and my other sister.
It’s very frustrating. How do I deal with this? It just hurts.
I cannot help feel that with some family members you are better off without them in your life. Do you think having them in your life makes your life happier?
No. For years I’ve always felt belittled by this sister and her daughters in particular. The same sister and her daughters have had disagreements and physical fights with my other brothers and sister. The same sister told me and I quote, “ I will rip the tongue out of your throat” when there was an argument.
They always feel they’re right and we need to grovel to them. I’m finished. I can only apologize. I don’t know what more they want. How hurtful to be TOLD you don’t like someone when it’s furthest from the truth......
It sounds to me they want people to cow and bully. Don't let it be you. x
You deserve so much better then that. Hugs to you.
We cannot control how others act towards us, and if you have already said none of this is true....then you need to get out of harm’s way. It's hard, but you’re going to have to let this kid spin.....and of course a parent is protective of their kid....so too will you have to let your sister do the same. Eventually the oil rises to the surface, and the truth comes out. This kid sounds very volatile and obviously has a problem....don't put yourself in toxic situations by being around it. I just would be very diplomatic, and pleasant during family functions, but do not engage in conversation about this issue with them, it's on them, you have said your position....and just cut them off at the quick if they bring it up....you’re not going to talk about something that is made up and not true.....there's nothing else to be said.
How old is your niece?
She’s 27.
She's sounds immature and spoiled? You need to stay away from her. No matter what you do or say? It's going to affect yours and your sisters relationship. She s not going to want to hear anything about her daughter, she in denial about her behavior like alot of parent's are these days. Gurantee though out in the Real.world someone going to put her in her place and they'll be Nothing she can do....then maybe Lesson Learned???
Family is a tough one. I had a fight with my sister once. She was telling me how my daughter should behave on a special outing. My daughter at the time was scared because she knew wild animals would be there. I told her privately that she still had to go with us. I told my daughter that she was allowed to be upset and that she was not to say another word about it. She sat in the van with her arms crossed and a pissed off look on her face. I told her this was ok so that should have been that. I knew that once she got there she would see there was no danger and be fine. My sister on the other hand disagreed and made my daughter feel worse by yelling at both of us for her perceived bad attitude ruining their outing. Long story short, things were not good between us and we lived far apart. After a few years we finally talked. We never really saw eye to eye on that particular situation but we worked things out. So my advice is to talk to her. One-on-one with nobody else there to interfere. If she can't be adult about it then wait until she can. This might take many years. Just remember that your health and happiness matters and look after yourself. Don't let anyone, family or otherwise, tell you that you are something you are not.
Thank you. We are talking but I’m being more guarded which I feel she is more aware of. It’s very difficult for me which she just doesn’t understand.
I’m always willing to try.
That's all you can do. With family, fighting is worse in my opinion. It should be your safe place but instead sometimes they hurt you more. Hang in there.
Thanks. I agree!
So sorry you are going through this. Was there perhaps some conflict recently? Did someone possibly get on to the niece for making snide comments? This might be perceived by the sister as attacking her parenting skills. Not everyone is appreciative of aunts trying to teach their children. Perhaps try to talk your sister when the niece is not around and ask why she thinks that? As for the niece, it kind of sounds like she could be following what her mom is teaching, not necessarily good habits. Another thought could be some form of jealousy, of other kids or perhaps thinking you treat some other niece/nephew differently. It's hard to know what others are thinking. (that would be kind of scary if we could see each other's thoughts. YIKES!) Prayers for the opportunity to learn more and wisdom of how to proceed.
My niece is 27 with a daughter of her own. I have never once treated any of my nieces differently. As it is with every family, I feel, some are closer than others. But all are equal in my eyes. My sister feels the need to intervene when there was no need.
I haven’t read any of the other answers because I don’t want to prejudice what I’m going to say. I don’t know your sister but I am going to say that she’s probably passive aggressive and probably does things to you to make you feel invalidated and less worthy than she is. This is a continuation of that behavior. Unfortunately she does not realize she’s hurting her daughter more than she’s hurting you. As an adult I have had to stand up and say things such as ‘I don’t know where you get these ideas from I’ve never said that’. I’ve had to just with one sentence make my point clear because I’m not passive aggressive. I don’t do this for myself I do this for the person like your niece who doesn’t deserve to get wrapped up in this drama that your sister has caused.
Best of luck to you
Doaty💛
My Sister's Death
How do you make friends?
I’m spiraling...
I feel like a wreck
