I’m spiraling...

[AnxietyBucket]

My anxiety and panic attacks have gotten so bad lately. It’s just back-to-back constant attacks, and it’s like my body starts to react before my mind even has a chance to catch up...

My husband lost his job a few months ago due to his health. We lost our apartment due to this because we couldn’t live on just my salary. Since we were homeless with nowhere to go, his sister stepped in and offered to bring us in and help with our move. Since it was our only option at the time, we accepted. She knew we had no money to give her and she said to not worry about paying her back for the move immediately.....well a week into living with her, we realize just how unhinged she really is. She’s a very terrifying person with a dark past we’ve discovered. We ended up leaving her place early and stayed on a friend’s couch in another state for two weeks until we could find a cheaper place to live. Now that we’re gone, my sister-in-law has been unrelenting about getting her money back. I’ve already started sending her monthly payments now that we’re settled again, but she still sends threatening messages claiming she also wants to commit suicide, said some really insulting things about us, and is still trying to bring in attorneys and sue me for not giving her money back faster.

I know there’s nothing she can do, but this woman now scares the living daylights out of me and just the thought of her sends me into panic. I already deal with severe anxiety daily and I have a deep fear of the world in general....I’m just so tired of fighting my mind. I’m exhausted. I feel like it’s just something new everyday I wake up and I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE!!!

[Fatima_sh]

Hello TheatreCat please breath and try to calm down. I know that what you’re going through right now is hard and some at points it feels like it’s too much to handle, but I’m positive that you are strong and will one day get over this one day! Have got tried contacting the police in regards to your husbands sister?

[AnxietyBucket in reply to Fatima_sh]

Thank you...we haven’t yet because we’ve been hesitant to take it that far. I’m considering a restraining order which is about all that can be done.

[Hidden]

How far are you from paying Her back, you need to disengage from Her as soon as possible.

It seems She is trying to control you and this can be really toxic.

Is there any way you could move again and not tell here where you have gone. In my case the same sort of problem, we moved from our old home on the understanding the Council would not divulge where we are, my Siblings went to the Council and found out where we had moved to, the relationship has been toxic for fifty years even my Mother was in on the act.

Consider your options and plan to move on especially if the situation starts to become worse.

Here to hep

BOB

[AnxietyBucket in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately we’re a long way from paying it all fully

It was a cross-country move and she knew how expensive it would be from the beginning. I’ve been paying in smaller increments as I’m able to afford it because we still don’t have much and my husband hasn’t been able to find work yet. I’ve been wanting to cut her off so bad!! But I feel like I’m stuck because I have to keep paying her back, even though I really don’t want to anymore after dealing with her....thankfully she doesn’t know our new address, I’m just worried their mom will tell her since she’s been at her defense. I really want to leave them behind.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to AnxietyBucket]

Well you really can't cut her off if you still owe her the money. My answer to any creditor I have when I can't pay the entire amount is to promise to pay a certain amount each month and make sure I fulfill my obligation. Even if it's a very small amount. It shows honest intent and responsibility should I ever be drawn into court.

[AnxietyBucket in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Oh, no matter how much I want to cut her off, I know I can’t yet. I did send her a plan to pay her a set amount once a month and I’ve already started paying. She’s still sending threats and all though, so she’s just out of control.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to AnxietyBucket]

I'm sorry you're having to be at the mercy of this lunatic. But as long as you're holding up your end of the bargain I don't know what else you can do. The restraining order may become an option down the road. But I imagine you'll know when it's time for that. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to AnxietyBucket]

Yes I can understand your situation, although I would suggest the best way out is to pay her toot sweet, so in the future she has nothing on you to spread around other people possibly in your family. She seems toxic, although I suppose like you She may have money concerns. That does not mean She needs to be nasty about it.

In my life I purchased a house from My Father and I paid it back in seven years, She was really over the moon however after a few years the attitude was toxic and the attitude of my Mother and Siblings was Narcisstic So I is was the talk of my relatives

[Hidden]

This is just like any other creditor. If you set up a payment plan and said party accepts your payment (deposits it, cashes it) then any action to sue will not stand up in court. The absolute worst thing that could happen is a judge will have you continue with a payment within your means, which actually means the same thing as what your are doing.

She is blatantly playing into you anxiety and your fears. Let her try to sue, it will cost her money to bring a suit and do you think she has that kind of money and risk not coming out any more ahead than what she’s already getting.

And she is harassing you..Keep the threatening messages, this can be used against her. A restraining order will not dissolve the debt, and I think it may make matters worse as far as her reactions and she could make it a point to sue, cause people like this are just relentless.

...but I think you have nothing to worry about. Keep sending the payments, keep records, but moreover breathe and relax. This is a person that is clearly unstable.

[AnxietyBucket in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! This helps