Loneliness: Hi everyone, have just... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Loneliness

wiserlady
wiserlady
78 Replies

Hi everyone, have just joined the group. Am a lady of 62 who suffers from anxiety and depression. Am almost housebound a lot of the time. Am struggling at the moment as unwell too, and my partner has had to go abroad for two weeks. Usually he is the one person I speak to on an almost daily basis, or see, so it will be very lonely and seem like a very long two weeks. I have dvds, books and all sorts here but it is just not the same as interacting with a human.

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Hidden
Hidden

Hello wiserlady. I get very lonely when my partner is not with me so I can understand that. It is good you have some books and dvds to watch but I know it is not the same as having your partner with you. I struggle with feeling lonely a lot and I just try to keep myself as busy as possible it is hard. Welcome to the site. :)

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

hi Autumnday, I am actually quite a busy person, I own a run a business, so the dvds and tv are not the main thing I do all day! But interacting with people is so important and you start to feel as if you dont exist without it, as if you have been cut off from the World and if you no longer existed nobody would even know or care. Do you understand what I mean?

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

Oh wow, you really are so busy. I apologise. I am mainly housebound so I assumed you were the same. I am sorry for that. I do understand how you describe feeling cut off from the world. If I did not have my partner I would not utter a word to anybody unless I was paying for something in a shop!

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

No need to apologise, I am maybe more housebound than you. I do all of my work from home on my own on the computer, it is very lonely. In fact I cant get to the shops without my partner. He is away for a few weeks so I really will not see other people. Not even someone in a shop.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

I am sorry to hear that. I am unable to go out without my partner as I feel very frightened. He is basically my carer. You are amazing to run a business from home! I really admire you. I have not worked for several years. It is horrible when our partners are away. I usually comfort eat the whole time which is not good.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

My situation is where I lack energy and struggle to breath. But I do have an anxiety problem too about meeting new people, crowds, groups, being outdoors etc. Ive worked from home all my adult life. I have gas electricity and all the rest to pay same as anyone else, would not be able to live in this house if I did not work hard. I know what you mean about comfort eating, I got my guy to get me my favourite foods today before he went away today for two weeks. The fridge has trifles, yoghurts and other goodies, but I find it sad that when I am on my own all day that food becomes the best thing in the whole day.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

I totally understand that. Often the only good thing about my day is a tasty treat. It is not much fun when food is the only joy. Have you ever thought about something like a bath bomb or nice scented bubble bath? A relaxing bath can be another way of treating yourself. I am very sorry to hear of the physical difficulties you experience.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

hi Autumnday. I love beautiful and colourful things, hand made crafts and such. Sometimes I search online and find some beautiful thing, maybe hand made, and order it to treat myself. But I cant use a bath. A nice handmade soap is good sometimes. I also find that listening to a sound machine in the background while reading or working helps to be calming so you feel it is not so quiet.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

That is a great idea. Craft is so special and people make some really beautiful things. I have tried a lovely soap from Lush called Figs n Leaves. It made my hands very soft. I have the radio on all the time for company. I do not like the silence either.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

I have just ordered some clothes online and am looking forward to getting them. Enjoy the whole experience of choosing them, then the anticipation of them arriving and then - of course, touching them, holding them and wearing them.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

Oh how lovely. I hope your new clothes come soon and you like them all. :)

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

I saw photos of them before I ordered them, I wouldnt have ordered them if I didnt know what they look like exactly and their sizes. My only thing is that I am quite a large lady and they may be slightly too small so would have to get down one size before they fit ok. How are you today?

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

Did you check the size guide? Each company has different measurements. I hate it when othes dont fit. I find that a lot as im overweight.

Im ok thanks. How are you?

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

Yes I did check the size guide. There were some things I liked a lot where I thought it safest NOT to order them because it seemed that although they were the same size they were smaller - i.e. some were 50 bust and some were 55 bust for same size.

And they are made in china where they dont understand that people of our size exist, if you are not careful you think that a 2xl is big enough and yet it is very small!

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

Oh yes! I gave up ordering clothes from China. They do tend to come up small. I really hope your clothes fit well when they arrive

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

I find that as I am size 20 I need to get their size as 5 xl. But they often dont make them that big. Am looking forward to getting them. Two of them are long cardigans with scenes of the countryside, like an oil painting on the front of them, another is all little crochet squares joined together, all different colours, to make a cardigan, and the others are long colourful scarves. if you get a few bits it is free p & P. get them from morechoo.com. got some very unusual nice bits and good prices.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

The cardigans sound so pretty. Size 20 is not that big so it is a shame it can be hard to find well fitting clothes. It is great the shipping is free.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

The shipping is free if you buy a certain amount, think it is three garments or £90 worth or whatever. I really like these as they are so unusual. I would show you a -photo if i could but dont seem to be able to here.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

Im not sure if you can show pictures on here. Im still quite new to the site. Do not worry though. I have a nice picture in my mind of one.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

well ill describe my favourite two to you best I can. Both knitted thick long cardigans. One is blue one is purple. Both are identical otherwise. They have what looks like a country scene sort of knitted into it. On the front. Fields, little houses etc. Never seen anything like it before. They also have a brown one but not keen on brown.

Last year I was more than a stone heavier than I am now. I managed to lose weight by eating less and eating the same just small portions and skipping a meal here and there. But somehow cant seem to get past the 13 stone mark and get smaller now, been stuck on that since about Christmas! How are you doing?

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

Your description is perfect. I can imagine them both clearly. You have done so well to keep a stone off. I can only dream of weighing 13 stone, haha. I managed to lose 3 stone and keep it off but now my weight hovers at 14.5

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

lol so you are hovering too ! Maybe we need to change how we do it to get better results? sometimes I manage to get down by about four kilos and then it goes back.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

I am actually better with accepting my weight then I was. I just want to loose the weight around my middle. I have been on diets since I was 12 and now I am just more accepting. It is hard to lose weight and keep it off. I actually did weight watchers a few years back and got down to 10 stone but I just could not keep it off.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

wow 10 stone, that is amazing. it must have been very difficult. one of my probls is that i like tehings like meat pies, and sandwiches and sausage rolls. but even when i cut them right down and change what i eat its still a problem. its best to lose weight for the sake of your health. my middle is much too big. but i have very very big boobs so i laughingly tell my guy that if we cut them off i would lose two stone.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

It was very difficult and I was always hungry and obsessing over food. I just could not do it any more. Haha, you are right though. Breasts do weigh a lot so that could also be a reason a person weighs more.

I went to the website and found the cardigans. I can now see what you mean. I like the cute dog print one.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to wiserlady

You can see these cardigans I told you about if you put these in the search bar bit by bit. morechoo.com/ then put straight after collections/ then put straight after cardigans - cotton-coats/ then put straight after products/ then put straight after

long-sleeve-cotton-blend-floral-hoodie-outerwear. phew.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to wiserlady

is that the dog one where it is in various circles of dogs? thats quite nice too. did you see the one I mentioned? ther e are quite a few on there i would have been tempted to get if right size. whats your favourite colour?

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to wiserlady

I sent you a PM. I did not get an alert for his message.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

Hi Gigi, how are you today? Hope your migraine is all gone now. Had a lovely reunion with my partner yesterday, telling me all about his trip, and I have been extremely busy at work, but Ive made sure I return to this site no matter how busy I am. How are you?

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

Good morning. I cannot find the thread we used yesterday where our chat was private. Am new to this site. Can you write to me in private like you did yesterday? How did you sleep? What are your plans for today?

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Booklover0219

I hope you find some good connections here. I work in an office all day and I still feel lonely. I don’t make very many positive or meaningful connections in my work so having people around doesn’t alleviate the loneliness.

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wiserlady

Hi and thanks for response. I don't know all of your situation so hope I do not put my foot in it and upset you with any of what I say. If so I apologise now. Some people get this idea that so long as you are with people you are not lonely. With me this is not the case. Ive sometimes been in a room full of loads of people and felt very very lonely and bored, because there is no real connection or care with anyone there. They woudlnt care whether you were there or not, if you disappeared or did not turn up the next time they would probably not even notice or might be pleased. I like to be picky about who I am with. People assume that if you are at home all the time or lonely you should be so desperate that anyone who fancies it can come around - and they should be able to just turn up without waiting to be invited or checking it suits you. As if the fact you are at home a lot means you are never busy or needing privacy. Your name is booklover! I love reading.

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Booklover0219

You are right. I completely agree. Not only can it be lonely and boring in a room full of people but it can also be annoying. I don’t like the endless probing, personal questions people like to ask. I prefer reading and walking outdoors but I do get lonely for positive connections with people.

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wiserlady

Booklover. I moved to this area about twenty years ago and thought it a good idea to go to womens institute and other places to meet "new friends". I was less disabled then. I was aged 40. But when I went to all of these groups most of the people there were at least 75, many of them wanted to just go on and on about their grandkids or their operations. I am quite happy to hear a friend tell me all about their health problems, but when it is a stranger who is just going through every minute detail for an hour no thanks. Some of them even had the cheek to expect me to go around theirs to do some of their housework or chores (all for free of course) BECAUSE they were too mean to pay the women who do it through Age Concern or cleaning agencies. It really annoyed me that they assumed that because I had retired and was living alone and single and female the best I could do with my time was listen to all of their problems or do their cleaning to save them paying a pro cleaner. Some expected me to let them come around my house whenever their friends were busy or they wanted to moan about their husband or whatever. No thanks. I hadnt retired from my business to sit around all day in the hope that someone pops in for a chat. I could have kept my business and chatted to clients instead. I wanted proper real friends not people who only come to me when they want something such as free therapy. And when a woman lives alone she also has to think about making sure she has an income. Helping strangers all day does not pay the bills. So I set up a business which made far more sense than going there. But when not working it can get very lonely and like you say even when you are working it can be (I work alone in my office in my house). I hope you have a nice evening.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

Its refreshing to chat to you, I like you already. What really annoyed me about the women asking me to clean for them is that I am a solicitor by trade. Used to earning a good amount per hour for advice having studied and trained and taken exams. So I would hardly be wanting to work as a cleaner , especially one who does it for free. And it never occurred to these women that a woman living on her own has bills to pay. She is going to do something which is interesting and well paid not boring and badly paid or free for work.

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Booklover0219

I think there are a lot of us out there who want a quieter life without drama. Independence is a lonely road but it’s also a peaceful road. I look forward to more chats.

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wiserlady

Yes you can be independent but also be close to the people who matter to you and enhance your life. I think people who try to take advantage of people who are lonely or on their own are scum. It's as if they think we are just put there to make their lives better but at our expense. I used to know a woman who helped out at the church a lot. She did the cleaning, answering the phone and booking keeping and much more. Yet she had no real friends, none of them cared about her, when it was her birthday or Christmas etc she was all alone. And she would have been better off getting a paid job.

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wiserlady

Good morning . How are you today?

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Sprinkle1

Hello I feel for you. I to am by myself, best friend just died, have no family here, would love to be able to have a friendship with you, I am in a bad depression with anxiety and feel awful, need support. Sending love.....Sprinkle......xxx

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

hi Sprinkle. Please tel me more about you. Hobbies, job, if you live on your own etc. I have four little dogs. Lovely little things, that helps. I love reading, films. Am am usually busy with something but its not the same as FRIENDSHIP or having someone care. I had a good friend who lived around here but had to move due to her husband's job taking him elsewhere. We email each other every day for past nine years. My partner is a lovely man but has had to go away for two weeks so I will be alone for that time not seeing anyone or able to go out.

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hello Wiser lady, thank you so much for writing so soon. I am 77, a Brit originally, came to US by myself at the ripe age of 22. Lived in Calif 3 years, but got home sick, so went back, then found I was homesick for Calif???

I have worked 46 years of my adult life, mainly in small office management and bookkeeping. Then spent 10 years doing in home elder care. Now I need "elder care"!!! I live with me and my 2 beautiful cats, I do volunteer work at the local library which I really enjoy, like you I am a reader, and I like DVD's I can get 6 a week out at no cost, cann't beat that price. My best friend who lived just up the road died two weeks ago, so I have no friends here now, I used to have a get together on the phone every month with my Aunt, but sad to say she died in March. My other best friend is about to die, so I have no one any more except my brother Mark in England. And to make matters worse I am depressed and full of anxiety, I am on med's and see a therapist, she is very kind to me and we are making some progress, but I think the big problem is the chemistry in my brain is not working properly. As your partner is away for 2 weeks, mark each day off and it will dwindle down and he will be home before you know it.

Write me when you have the time, I send you love and peace, big hugs too......Sprinkle 1

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

Hi there, what a lovely reply. You sound like a lovely person with an interesting life and a sparkly personality, what a pity that you are lonely and depressed and anxious. Your life must have changed so much as you got older and struggled. You can always write to me here you know. I used to have a friend who I met up with regularly, she was just around the corner and we met once a week for coffee and a chat. This went on for years but then she had to move due to her husband's job. Really she is much more into her family and dotes on her kids and grandkids anyway. But she moved nine years ago and ever since we have emailed each other every day. I t would be good to have a friend to chat to on phone regularly or email. My partner is a lovely man. But he cannot be with me all the time, and it would not be fair and healthy for either of us or our relationship. Ive not been able to make other friends around here for all sorts of reasons, too complicated to explain here. I work from home in my office on my own so I spend too much time alone anyway! But its even harder when partner is away and unwell as not well enough to work at the moment either. Things must be very different there to here. Here I am by the sea. Lovely place, but we do get a lot of wind and rain and it is cold now. It is nice to be indoors cosy and tucked up when it is cold outside. I LOVE reading. My favourites are Milly Johnson. I tend to read a book I like a lot and really get lost in it and then read the same book again maybe six months later. I also love films and tv, but selectively, not just anything. How are you this evening?

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hello. company showed up, so I'l get back to you tomorrow. sleep well. Sprinkle 1....

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

ok glad you have some company

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hi, It was the man "Joe" he delivers my med's and always stops and chats with me and gives me a nice hug. Then it was dinner time and the time just flew by I watch PBS on Wed, usually educational and interesting. I am like you, selective in what I watch and I hate commercials. I live near the sea, I am in Sth. Carolina, and we have been having some hot weather. I feel a bit better now, I saw my therapist this a.m. she is so kind to me, makes me hot chocolate. Gets me out of the grave I seem to dig for myself sometimes. After I went grocery shopping, I needed cat food and I bought some English Jam. I feel tired now, so will cut this off short, I need to lay down for a while. I hope you are coping, I look forward to getting to know you. Take good care, I send Love, Peace and Big Hugs......Sprinkle 1.......xxx

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

hi Sprinkle, what a chatty interesting message, thank you.; Glad you saw your therapist, is it a female or male? Which jam do you get? Which flavour? In the UK we have it everywhere and put it on toast and crumpets or in sandwiches. But we have marmalade too, do you have that? I also live near the sea. In a small town about two hours from London. Lots of cafes and restaurants around here. The weather here at this time of the year is mostly rain and dark and gloomy and we get a lot of wind. When I feel better I will be out and about on my mobility scooter again when I have time, work first. What is PBS? Ive seen some of the USA shows such as special victims unit which is good, but not keen on friends, frasier is ok, and used to love the golden girls. Have a nice day.

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hello. so you are a Brit, and live by the Sea. My Mother lived in Devon, in Sidmouth. We are originally from Grimsby, I was born in my Grandmothers house during an air raid in 1942, I do not remember that, but I do remember some bits of the war, the air raid siren frightened me. We moved to Cheshire when I was 17 due to my fathers job, he was an aircraft designer and worked for Hawker Siddley. I have one brother 2 years younger than me, we are not on speaking terms sad to say. I also have twin brothers who are 18 years younger than me (pre pill era). One of them lives in London and we do not communicate - don't know why, I suspect his wife plays a part in it. Then one twin is close with me, he lives in Cheshire in Nantwich. I lived in Calif for 42 years, then 11 years ago moved cross country to Sth. Carolina. And I am sorry I did, they have hurricanes here and they frighten me, we had earth quakes in Calif and I got used to them!!! So that is another slice of my life, I'll write more next time. My therapist is a lady and she is so good to me, my Dr. is good to me also, and tries to get me on the right med's. I have a faulty brain, been dealing with these off and on all my life and they are as you know awful, and especially difficult when you have no support. When I am not depressed I do not get lonely, and the loneliness

really brings me down. Like you I love to read, work in my garden, do my colouring books. Oh and the jam I bought is made in England, it is Blackcurrent, I also have Marmalade. I try not to eat too much sweets, I try to stay in control of my weight, and as you probably know it is not so easy as we get older. Well yak, yakking away, I think I will go and look at some more of a video, it is Ken Follets Pillars of the Earth, I read the book years ago and loved it. You will be tucked up in your bed, I hope you get some decent sleep. I have a little pill I take, it helps me I am prone to insomnia?

Sending Love, Peace and Hugs......Sprinkle 1.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

hi Sprinkle1. It is great to chat to someone so chatty and interesting, thank you. No I am not British, I am from Belgium/France. But lived here most of my life. And very much into food , my father was a master chef. When you wrote to me I must have been tucked up in bed. I am so glad that it is cooler now. During the summer I HATE trying to get to sleep, tossing and turning, during this time of the year when it is cooler it is so much easier. I have a rising alarm clock which wakes me which is a lot of help. It gradually gets brighter and brighter and then plays music or my favourite sound at the appointed time.

Once again it is dark and dreary here. Not the sort of weather that draws one to go out!

I am working today, not up to working all of the time properly like usual, but have to do some. I work on my computer today so will see messages as they pop up.

Most of my cliients are people who come along and then once satisfied move on, there is no relationship with them, so even though I am dealing with people it is not the same as having friends. And it would be lunacy to make friends with them as they would then just want more and more work without paying for it.

My partner texted me last night, he worries about me when he cannot be here. It is important to me that he doesnt worry so he enjoys his stay there.

Have a nice day.

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

Good morning. How are you today? Not wanting you to respond. Just hope you have a good day.

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hello Friend, I have been wanting to write to you, and it has been really awful with the depression and the anxiety, yesterday I had to go and lay down, and was about to again now, but I decided to see if there was a line from you. I am so glad, as it helps to make me feel not so alone.

Are you in England? I spoke with my brother Mark this a.m. and he said the weather had cooled off and was windy, it has cooled off here to, thank goodness,, been in the 90's, only supposed to get to 81 today. I wish I felt well I would go out and work in the garden. These anxiety attacks make me feel very tired and wobberly and I am afraid of falling, get sick to my stomach, so I lay down and try to meditate. I see my cat Sprinkle is on the bed, so I will join her it helps to calm me. I took an anti anxiety pill, perhaps I will be able to take a nap.

I hope you are having a decent day, will your partner be hope this week?

I'll write you a longer email next time. Sending you Peace, love and a big Hug

Sprinkle 1...... (as you will see I borrowed her name for my emails).......

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

Yes am in the UK in Essex, its been raining a lot, very windy and cold here.

Partner is back week after next, the time is dragging very slowly.

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hi, thank you for getting back to me, I laid down for a while then got busy writing a letter and a Birthday Card, now I am tired, looking forward to watching Durrells in Corfu, Poldark and a new program called Press, so I shall put my feet up and try to relax, I do not watch much ........T.V but I do like my English programs, a die hard Brit to the Core. You are probably in bed now it is 7.30 p.m. here.

What type of work does your partner do that takes him away?

I hope I can find a nice partner I have no one now my friend died, and my only family is in England 3000 miles away.

I never used to get lonely, but the depression does this to me, I am glad I have my cats..

I hope you have a good day tomorrow, and I will try to touch base with you.

Sleep well. Sprinkle 1.......

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

Hope you feel a lot better now, or at least not so depressed. It can seem like such a long day when not feeling well cant it.

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hello, I am trying to pull myself together, but it is hard, the anxiety freezes me, I look for simple things to do that will not set the anxiety off. I have never felt like this in my life and wonder how long it is going to take to get me well. What do you do with yourself all day? I try to keep busy, and I find things to do on the computer. Tomorrow will be my therapy day and after that my library time, I really love that. I spoke with my Brother yesterday, and have a date to speak again on Wed, it really brightens up my day. I like being with my therapist she is good to me and for me. I am going to ask my Dr. for a higher dose of antidepressant, they can help with the anxiety.

I started knitting again yesterday, I knit hats and scarves for the underprivileged children, I hate to think of them being cold, I hate being cold, don't like being too hot either!!!

You did not say what type of work it is that takes your partner away. My father was an aircraft designer and always going to London, they even sent him to India.

My Brother Mark Works in Trouble Shooting on the Railway, he has been there a long time 43 years, and has seen a lot of change in his time. We do not have good train service, cars, cars, cars,

Well as I am getting hungry, I will go and make some lunch, hope you are having a nice day. Sending Peace, Joy and Happyness. Sprinkle 1......

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

Hi Sprinkle, have just found your reply to me, 23 days later. Am sorry, hope you are feeling ok and having a good day, or at least an ok day.

You asked me what work my partner does. He is a welder and engineer and has gone to dismantle, repair and put back together a very expensive old classic car for a client. His passion is old classic cars and he know them inside and out. There are not many people who know about these things so people in other countries will ask him to go there to work. He has three himself. He owned the company and designed the rides for Disneyland Paris and built those rides.

He tries to avoid going away, and it is rare. But it is also his only way of getting away from home for a break from everything, and he works so hard he needs that break.

I am unable to go with - for lots of reasons - but it would be very selfish of me to say that he mustnt either - and it would not do a relationship much good to try to strangle someone and make them be with you all of the time lol.

He has been back now for a while anyway.

It would be good to make a friend from here. Someone who is chatty and upbeat, lively, alert, interesting and saying positive nice friendly things.

One of my neighbours wanted to come over to chat to me this morning and she just wanted to moan and groan about her aches and pains - no thanks.

Anyway, today is a busy working day for me, clients have made appointments to speak to me.

What are you doing today?

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Sprinkle1
Sprinkle1
in reply to wiserlady

Hello, it is good to hear from you, its OK you did not find my email til now, I get a lot of them and sometimes miss important ones for days. I think you are sounding a little better. I am so glad to tell you I am doing Great, the increase in the antidepressant and the twice a week meeting with my wonderful therapist, my brain is starting to heal, the anxiety is almost gone and the depression is fading into the background. It is hard as I am by myself and my friends have been dying, I am 77 so everything falls on my shoulders, so much got neglected while I was so ill, now I am playing catch up. Talking about time, my husband and I restored a 1940 Ford, it took us 7 years, we both worked full time, it got time when we had it. So I think I understand what your husband goes thru. I understand you missing him, it is nice to have someone to talk to on a daily basis, I do admire your thinking, he needs to go and do these things. I was talking to my Brother Mark this a.m. he lives in Cheshire is only 59, we talked about all the stress there is in our lives in this day and age, his wife has been going thru some trauma, I hope she will talk to me, and go see a therapist, she had an appt. but did not keep it. I love this website it is so helpful, it is a good place to vent and seek help don't you think? I will send her the web site address.

I am doing so well I have actually been feeling happy!!! I am not 100 % yet, but I am working on it.

I agree you did not want a neighbor over that only wanted to moan and groan, in therapy I was taught (many years ago) to avoid those types of people, anyone that is a user, or abusive in any way, we do not need them in our lives, one reason I have few friends. When I am not depressed I do not get lonely I have an inquiring mind and it keeps me busy, and can keep me awake, so I take a sleeping aid. I am just hoping and praying this is my last trip down this road, my psychiatrist in Calif in 2000, when I questioned him if I was going to have one in 2004, he said "Not if I have my way". I was having them every 4 years but it has been a struggle since 2017, I have been in the hospital 3 times, and the hospital was very poor in care, more like a warehouse. I moved away from Calif in 2006, and the service here is very poor.

Anyway, I have my cats who are good Company, had to take Zebra 15 to the Vet yesterday, confirmed what I suspected a bladder infection, so she is now on antibiotics for 14 days. My other baby Sprinkle 5 is happy and content as far as I can tell.

So that's my news for today, I am going to try and unblock the toilet in my bathroom......always something!!!! Then a nice warm shower and a DVD.

I wish you well, sending peace, love and hugs.....Sprinkle 1......

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wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Sprinkle1

Hi Sprinke1 thanks for replying, please write to me in private next time, I hate everyone else to be able to read what I consider to be my private mails and it is so much quicker and easier to find then!

It is interesting that you and your hubby restored an old car. My guy has such a passion for these things, he has a few of them and am sure he would like a lot more.

Tonight we went to the theatre to see a play about Agatha Christie and Margaret Rutherford, it was different, but it did not quite hit the spot for me.

When it comes to friends I think we are alike. I met a lot of people in the area who just wanted to come around to moan , or when they were bored or lonely or wanting free advice. And very often they didnt even understand taht they need to ring and check it is convenient first and arrange when it suits me too. Because I work from home when I cannot stop in the middle of work or could be doing any number of things where I want peace and quiet or need to get on.

My guy is out working all day and he meets lots of people, so the downside to my work is being in my office on my own all day, only chatting to clients online and on the phone. And it is not wise to make friends with clients! lol.

Yes I am happier because he is back now. But unwell at the moment and it is getting me down.

Am so glad that you found a good therapist and are feeling really positive about your health and future, and the antidepressants are working well, which ones are they? I tried mirtazapam a while ago and the made me very sleepy and gave me bad side effects so now I try to manage without any. But during the winter I have SAD so I use one of those light boxes in the morning.

Have a great day.

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NWGal

Welcome! We are a very kind, caring and supportive group. You can always find some human communication here. Glad you are keeping busy - the time should go faster for you.

Good karma!

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wiserlady

lol. I would usually be running my business, speaking to clients and staff on the phone. I am far less busy now than usual, as not up to it. I wish I was up to it.

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HiddenThis reply has been deleted
wiserlady
wiserlady
in reply to Hidden

Hi. Am not needing suggestions and advice thank you. If there was anything I could do to make things better i.e. ways to meet local people that might suit me, I would have done it already and I am not into groups anyway. And my partner is a good thinker, he knows my situation inside and out and would have suggested anything that might be beneficial and suitable. A few months ago before I became ill I was busy all day with clients and staff, and I will be again in a few months when well again.

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hypercat54

Was only trying to help so have deleted my response. (reminder to self - don't reply to new members until you have seen they are ok).

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wiserlady

My partner said to me "don't bother to go on forums while I am away, you know how it is, there is always at least one who assumes you need advice and talks to you as if you are a five year old half wit". I do understand why it happens. I said to myself "REMINDER TO SELF - beware of those who forget you only wanted support and a quiet gentle place to visit for a short while. You don't know me at all. I am very wary about who I chat to in forums at the moment for that very reason. Forums are full of people who assume the new member cannot make decisions or see the obvious. It goes with the territory. Two months from now I will be knee deep in clients coming to me for advice, and paying for it. In the meantime I am too ill to do much or go out, it;s my physical body which is struggling not my brain - so no point to ideas that involve going out or doing anything different. I didnt ask for advice - if I needed any I would ask my partner and would have done that ages ago - but thanks anyway.

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primrose81

So sorry you are having such a rough time wiser lady. I am 67 nearly 68 yrs young and please don't take it wrong when I say I can empathise when you say you do not feel comfortable when your partner

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primrose81

Is away. I am not nearly as brave as you and hate it when my husband takes the dog out twice each day, usually 2 hours each time! Often have to check up where he is if I am

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primrose81

Feeling panicky....hope you have lovely conversations on the phone with your partner and look forward to a great time together once back xx

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wiserlady

What a lovely lady you are . Thank you so much. Usually I am fine. He goes away for a month at a time on business no problem. The reason I am struggling right now is because of not being well, a physical illness, where its hard to do anything and just stuck indoors on my own, not able to work or do my normal things. It's partly not being well and partly being on my own too much and partly not being able to do my normal things like work. Not because of anxiety. Think it would drive him potty if I rang him whenever he went out, he would soon tire of that. He is quite a long way away at the mo so he emails and me and texts me, but I never chase him up, he is busy enough as it is and its important to me that he wants to and doesnt feel forced into it like its a boring chore. Am looking forward to him being back in two weeks as it is his 65th birthday bash with a lot of family and friends soon and am hoping I am well enough to go too. What sort of things do you like to do? Which country are you in? Have a nice day.

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primrose81

I come from N. Ireland originally but studied at TCD so am in unusual position of loving both the South and the North of Ireland but they are separate countries and I don't think we are ready for a United

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primrose81

Ireland just yet. Don't have many hobbies but love people watching and hearing about and seeing our two lovely grandchildren. Both little boys aged 5 and little Finn is just 8 weeks old. Don't wish to be rude

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primrose81

But it is getting late hear and must sort out somethings before retiring for the night! Nite nite hope you have a good day and look forward to

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primrose81

Getting to know you better on here xxx

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wiserlady

Same here. Good night. I am in South England by the sea and it is getting dark quite early now, and cold and windy and rainy. Have a nice day.

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Booklover0219

How’s it going? Are you doing ok?

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wiserlady

Hi, are you ok?

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Booklover0219

I haven’t been doing so well these past few weeks. There has been a lot of stress. I started seeing a counselor so maybe I can get a better perspective and maybe I can manage things a bit better soon.

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wiserlady

Hope you feel better soon. Please send me private messages from now on, it takes time to find the exact message on this page AND it means that everyone else can read it too.

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wiserlady

Hi there. Nice to hear from you. Not doing bad. Been on phone to various people who rang me this morning (always much nicer if they ring you, then you know they do want to speak to you) and been pottering about. The time has gone quite quickly. How about you? Are you back at work tomorrow?

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