Numb

I feel so unbelievably terrible. The woman I love will not come back to me even though she texts me and cares about how I feel. It’s just too difficult. I can’t keep living like she will come back but it is so fucking hard. It sounds so typical after a breakup to say “she’s perfect, she’s the one I wanted to marry, she is the only one for me” but every single ounce of my body and soul knows that she is who I’m destined to be with. It is so hard that it is causing me to be unable to live normally. I really want these feelings to go away because I’m crippling myself. I’m wasting my time being absorbed in my feelings about her and life. I really want to be happy but I’m not letting myself. I need to be happy. I just really need to be level headed but I can’t when she’s so close but so far. I wanna go home but I don’t even know where home is at this point. I don’t quite believe in God but even so I am praying for him to guide me through this. I can’t do this alone. I want to go away from anything. I want to run away and start a new life because this is too much for me to handle. I don’t understand why breakups do this to me. It makes life unbearable. Please Lord, help me.

[Jeff1943]

If she had never existed you would have the same feelings for someone else. Romantic love is something nature uses to ensure we mate, procreate and stay together to support and protect the next generation.

Not a very romantic statement but it's the truth. There's a chance you may recontinue your relationship one day. Meanwhile see what comes your way.

[Junella]

Yes, you are hurting now and feel rejected. It's not just a love for the person but a threat to your own value. Maybe like something you may have suffered in the past--even from family--a kind of abandonment.

That this woman still contacts you because she worries about your mental health could mean she is a caring person. However, she keeps you hoping which is a kind of torture, so maybe she is dealing with her own guilt. I doubt she would not want to spend a lot of time with one indulging in self-pity and who causes her guilt feelings.

The sign of maturity and release and starting over is for you to say "NO." Don't answer her texts.

I remember going through such a time, and it does go away. By keeping it going you don't allow yourself to find the right person for you that will lead to a normal relationship that grows over the years rather than based on immediate gratification.

This is a growth experience that will turn out for the best if you give it time. That means making a radical choice and setting boundaries. I found a spiritual life helped me understand what matters the most. Right now you are worshiping a false god.

[Ginger289]

I understand how you feel and how immobilized you can be from losing that person. You just need to take a step back and figure out what honestly happened. It may take some time for that realization to hit but it will be helpful in the healing and recovery process. If you need to talk things out or just feel the feelings I am always around to listen, well read and try to be helpful.

[Hidden in reply to Ginger289]

I know what went wrong and she knows that I know that too and she’s just neglecting to allow me to show her that. Which is obviously her choice but it just hurts

[Ginger289 in reply to Hidden]

Then make the improvements on your own for you and she might notice. Working on yourself is never bad. I am trying to learn that now. Admitting it and following through to make a better you. Hopefully the changes if you decide to make them will make you happier and she will catch on to your happy and notice how good you are doing and decide to be a bigger part of your life.

[Hidden in reply to Ginger289]

Thank you. I really have notice what I did wrong the issue is that I want it now

[Ginger289 in reply to Hidden]

I believe in you and I know you can do it. I am trying myself to make needed changes and I hope they go noticed because I believe my girl is the one for me and I am willing to do what is necessary to show myself and her that this can work. I am not going to let my anxiety talk me down and ruin my fight to win her back and you shouldn't either. But first we both have to win ourselves back and fight these obstacles in our way.