I don’t want to live anymore. I am not living I am already dead inside, I just wish my heart would stop beating and that I could be pronounced dead and be gone forever. I am 19 years old and I know that it seems like I am very young to say this, but I have nothing to live for all look forward to, because I screw up everything. College is hard. My friends are all dating or engaged already and I have never even had a boyfriend or been asked out on a date. My best friend is zillions of years older than me and has a family of her own, and I’m judged by family and peers that she’s my friend. She’s over a decade over than me but we get along so well and I don’t want to give up a friendship because of our age. She acts my age! I am just so sick of everyone judging me, I feel like I can’t be myself, I have had friends in the past year that committed suicide and I feel alone being down here without them. I would have taken my own life by now If I knew I would be successful at that, but considering how unsuccessful I am everything I am still here. I can’t go all the time I read things all the time about how to take your own life, but I’m just afraid I would feel bad and my life would be even worse than it is now. I don’t know what to do anymore though, so I’m here on this page trying to distract myself from everything within. I am so lost and I am so tired. I just think I give up.