Mixed emotions

[Oct7skye]

I have always worked and through God have managed to care for children to the best of my ability. Since I started having issues with my son it’s been very hard to stay at work a full day. Employers don’t care about no one but their money. A few weeks ago, due to my sons issues, work hours conflicting, and other issues I made a decision to turn in my two week resignation letter. Friday was my last day. Although I like to work because that was my break away from home I made this scary step. I’m all to pieces but at the same time overjoyed I’m able to see my babies smiling faces other than just in the morning when I take them to school. Even more I needed to be the primary care giver for my son which consists of a lot of calming and redirecting. Services in my area are slim to none. I kept this decision under wraps because I didn’t want to hear a lot of backlash but somehow one family member found out and now I’m the topic of the family discussion. Ppl have said so many harsh things, calling me stupid, a quitter, selfish and much more. I have refused to entertain them by giving them a reaction but what bothers me the most is everyone has opinions yet none of them have asked what can I do to help you. It bothers me that when they had nothing who did they run too? It bothers me that when I crumbled no one every checked on me. All I ever heard was she’ll get through it, She tough, etc. I have cried and prayed a many days and nights asking God to better my situation. And I know my time is coming. But why must there be so much negativity. Then it’s said to me don’t ask for nothing because you can get out and work. Whyyy??? I have never and don’t plan on asking anyone for anything. I’m just trying to grasp this at home mom thing and stay mentally stable so that I can be the best mom my kids deserve. And at the same time I’m battling trying to figure out do I need to go ahead and go back to work. What do I do once my normal mom, house and school things have been completed?

[hypercat54]

Well what I would do after all that is have a long rest. I think you are expecting that you are superwoman and are unhappy that you aren't. There is no more exacting, tiring job than taking care of children and all the housework. When you have outside work then in effect you have 2 jobs and that is so hard. The domestic role is a full time job in itself.

As for those who have a go at you tell them to get stuffed. Or better still come and do your domestic chores for a few days then see how they feel. I bet they would change their minds. Just do what you have to for the sake of your kids and know that you are doing a great job. x

[Oct7skye in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you

[mommabear0206]

Sometimes being the "tough" or "strong" one can be exhausting! Always having to be what everyone else expects you to be and losing yourself in the process! No one else, family or otherwise, know your situation from your perspective. You are the one that knows what is best for your family, so don't stress on what those other people have to say. Some people only know how to communicate with negative words. Being a stay at home mom has got to be a tough gig. It is also hard to spend 8-10 hours a day at a regular job and knowing that your kids spend more time at school or with a sitter than with their parents. Hardest part is trying to find the best parts (silver lining) of your situation... easier said than done, I know. Just remember, from the sounds of it, you are a good person and a good mother. Keep your head up and know that you are not alone. This is a great place with great people who can understand, listen and if possible, offer help. Have a great day and remember to smile

[Oct7skye in reply to mommabear0206]

Thank you for your encouragement

[majolie]

Oh, honey, you are a remarkable woman! Hold your head high and proud...you are one of today's minority of women who actually value being a stay-at-home-mom. You are a warrior mom (get the t-shirt that says that!). You are doing a wonderful thing and giving your kids a gift! Don't listen to all that negativity. Maybe they're just jealous??? LOL.

I'm sorry that your family members aren't supportive. They called you selfish? Are you kidding? Being a stay-at-home-mom is just about the hardest, most sacrificial, most unselfish choices a mom can make. Let those mean comments roll off you and be the best mom you can be.

First of all, give yourself some time to adjust to your new role. You're used to being in a much faster pace and busier lifestyle. Slow down and enjoy your babies/kids while they're little! They grow way too fast.

If you actually have any time leftover after doing all those at-home things, you should join a mom's group (check out MOPS, Moms in Touch, etc.) or a women's Bible study group...anything that'll provide a community of support for you... like-minded positive moms and women! You need support from people who WILL encourage, uplift, empathize, cry & laugh with, and come alongside you.

Other things you can do with extra time (again, if you have any):

--work on a hobby you love (painting? sewing? writing? exercising? cooking?)

--volunteer at a place that'll be a fun outlet for you, and you'll be blessed in doing so

--take a class in something you've only ever dreamed about

Someday your kids will be grown and you can go back to work or even start a 2nd career. It has been said that when people are asked on their deathbeds what their #1 regret is in life, they say "I wish I had spent more time with the ones I love" and they DON'T wish they had spent more time at the office or pursuing personal interests. You won't regret a single day that you pour into your kids.

Kudos to you. Your kids are blessed to have you.

[Oct7skye in reply to majolie]

Thank you so much for your advice and encouraging words.