I’m about to pop!

[Magic214]

So I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD and I have rituals that help put my mind at ease. It’s weird to others who aren’t educated on those who suffer with this disorder and it’s extremely embarrassing. My bf is here and has been here for 2 days straight. I literally feel like I’m dying bc I haven’t been able to do my rituals. (I’m not comfortable enough to do them in front of him) I’m having a panic attack and can’t stop crying bc I’m losing my shit. I told him to go home bc I was looking forward to my rituals, But he didn’t. He will get offended if I tell him it’s not him, that’s it’s me. I’m sick of opening up to people who don’t understand about this. Guys please help!

[Hidden]

Why not be honest with him sooner?

[Magic214 in reply to Hidden]

I’m so embarrassed and I had him watch a video on people with OCD and he laughed bc he noticed how I was really similar to one of the girls.

[Hidden in reply to Magic214]

Wow 🤗. Laughing at people who have OCD is immature and ignorant. Don’t get discouraged. Dating requires us to be vulnerable. You were sharing something with him that was important for you. If he reacted by laughing then I would theorize he is immature and only dating for recreation. Kick him to the curb.

[Magic214 in reply to Hidden]

Yea I’m thinking that’s what I have to do bc up until last year, I didn’t know what it was. I never thought it was OCD, I just did these things but I knew it made me feel better. It really hurt me when he laughed bc I felt like we have been together for 3 years and I still can’t be close to you. Maybe if I received behavioral therapy, I wouldn’t have to worry about this during dating but I’m nervous if they cure the OCD, the suicidal thoughts and attempts will start back.

[Hidden in reply to Magic214]

Yeah it hurt. Especially after three years you would hope the person would be more understanding. If not out of love but out of common decency. You need to find a guy who is understanding and will love you OCD and all.

[sweetiepye in reply to Magic214]

I understand that your feelings are hurt, mine would be too. Your bf may be nervous about how to behave around you , and this could cause inappropriate laughter. After three years though I would hope that you feel close enough to share any issue with him. I have lost friends because I shared with them, I thought they were friends . A painful experience. Pam

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

I too have lost friends when I shared my struggle with mental illness. It seems to be part of human nature. People can’t understand because they can’t see it. They wouldn’t abandon someone with cancer, but yet the stigma of mental illness remains. You just have to learn to bear these wrongs with patience and love.

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

It is a shame that we aren't always there for one another when we so easily could be at little cost to ourselves. People who have suffered understand this and develop a generosity of spirit if they want their illness to be a more positive experience. It is a difficult endeavor but achievable. There are many examples of this with the members on this site. Everyone benefits. Pam

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Very true and inspiring. Thank you.