14 yr old friend overdosed, how do I help?

[bluemoon2u]

I found out that a 14 year old friend overdosed in an attempt to end the pain. How can I help her when she gets out of the hospital. No one saw this coming. Do I act like all is normal in our relationship? I am her grandma's age and don't see her every day.

[Hidden]

I think I would invite her over and see if she wants to talk about it and let her know I was there for her anytime. Maybe even plan regular visits if you can and it's ok with the parents. Then I would notify the parents if there is concern. It's hard to be confidential when a child is involved but I would feel a responsibility to her parents to try to prevent this again if the parents aren't the problem.

[bluemoon2u in reply to Hidden]

She was in her mom's custody until 3 years ago.. just how deep her anger over things that happened with her came out in a family session and just how worthless those things made her feel. That plus a couple of typical 14 year old choices just ganged up on her. They are helping her reconcile that her mom will not be the mom she needed then or now. Luckily she loves those at her dads.

[Hidden]

I think it’s tough to give you precise advice. I think guidelines would be more helpful. You have to assess how she is at the time you meet her and augment your response in light of that assessment. She could be having a good day or a bad day. Both would warrant different support. You are a caring and loving person, or else you wouldn’t have asked for advice. So just be your normal caring self.🤗

[pink318]

Hello,

I have a 15 year old friend in my church who has issues about her relationship with her parents. She is like a daughter to me. She’s an introvert and most of the time she’s sad because of things going on at home. Her Mom is a friend of mine so it’s easier for me to give her advice.

You are a very nice friend and you care for her so much. If I were in your situation, if it’s OK with the parents, I would visit her. If she’s talking about her feelings, I would listen.

I pray that you can give her the love and support she needs. Thank you for sharing, keep us posted. God bless.

[dangerousmind4523]

I, myself, have never tried illegal or OTC drugs to OD; however, I do know what it’s like to feel pain all day and every day. It is not fun and it is not a joke. I am the exact opposite age of your friend and was an Army soldier. Today, I am a broken shell of what I used to be. Some days are good and other days are barely bearable. I know at the time, your friend was at a low space or dark place in their head but let them know: it does get better. Btw, I also have bipolar 1 mixed, PTSD and a traumatic brain injury. The emotional/physical/mental pain will ebb and flow, ‘we’ just have to ride it like a wave on a surfboard. 🇺🇸

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

Thank you going with the flow and focusing on the good day's are so important and such a hard thing to learn when in pain. I too have struggled with PTSD and even today I ask myself " what is the real risk?" To bring myself into reality when anxiety producing situations come up --some days that is just leaving the house. I hope you can find a way to contribute that helps you be content with who you are now. Years ago A friend needed to have a garbage disposal installed. That was easily within My wheelhouse. She sincerely thanked me and it helped me recognise that I still have things to contribute. I cannot tolerate the sounds from many activities I love because it causes anxiety. I designed kitchens for friends ,help with projects, teach others skills and love my grandkids. I am also using my experience to teach others to deal with similar things. It is a way of them making shortcuts through the mountains we climb and the valleys we muck through. I can say I am content to be who I am now and feel blessed to have been the skilled, fast thinking person I was. Some people never experience the highs from successful choices I made in my past. Like visiting a foreign country, they are happy memories now. I too focus on the future. It can get better if you recognise your amazing strength--on bad days getting through makes you a super hero to all of us!!!

[dangerousmind4523 in reply to bluemoon2u]

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I have always been one to rely on myself to get through any of the hard times but I have enough sense to know when I cannot handle my emotions by myself. I have studied psychology and achieved my AS in General Education and Science. I have so many feelings/emotions going on in a world wind that I am truly overwhelmed. But, one thing I can stand on is my morals. The next few days is going to be tough but I must believe in my mind, body and soul that I am tougher. 🇺🇸

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

Wow same experience here. When I felt nothing life could easily gone a different direction. I too kept focusing on my moral compass. It was the only thing about myself that I was sure of. The other thing I did was recognise that the basically still there logical me and the immenesly pained emotional me could both exist. logical me keep emotional me safe. It sounds like you are doing the same thing. Have you considered tutoring students? It would be one on one in a safe environment. Big brother to a troubled teen could also let you use your experiences a positive way, as could visiting veterans who are alone like in nursing homes. I would guess that you are a Vietnam vet. Their struggers to get ptsd acknowedged as real forged a path for the rest of us and for that I am very thankful.

[dangerousmind4523 in reply to bluemoon2u]

Actually, I am a Gulf War retired Army veteran and I am dealing with some terrible anxiety to wide open spaces. I never figured it was anxiety but I am used to small spaces and close quarters just not to open spaces without my M16A2 rifle or bayonet. I guess what I learned is forever engrained in my mind; however, I do struggle with keeping “the beast” leashed when I am anxious and/or scared. 🇺🇸

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

For years my car keys were me protection-- they were never out of my hand when I went out. They were my ability to escape. Suggestion Find something that helps you feel safe whether it be a can of mace or a safety alarm and carry it with you always. I had a Labrador that went with me everywhere on our farm. It was particularly terrifying to go to the barns after dark but I knew she would bark if something was there. After years of being quiet the night she barked about gave me a heart attack...and sent me back to the house. I saw a racoon out the window...relief!! We are way out in the country and in 40 years never had a surprise night visitor...that logic didn't sink in very well!!!

[dangerousmind4523 in reply to bluemoon2u]

I love dogs but am allergic to the dander; however, I am a bit hardheaded-so I play with the neighbor’s German Shepherd. I also help keep my parent’s dogs fed and watered, lol. But, I have to come in and immediately take a shower or I will itch like crazy.

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

As I understand it anything with hair that needs to be cut vs fur that sheds can be hypoalergenic. That comes from someone who raises standard poodles for assist dogs and is the only one in the cointry with dogs that are hypoalergenic for that purpose. Check into it. Maybe a labridoodle would work? My nephew has one and it has quite the personality.

[dangerousmind4523 in reply to bluemoon2u]

Cool. Thanks, I will look into it.

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

I got up smiling today from the thought that my sharing of information might change your life . It is a little thing that gives a positive purpose to my pain. 4 legged friends accept us as we are no matter how broken we view ourselves as. No matter what caring for them gives us a positive purpose in life.

[dangerousmind4523 in reply to bluemoon2u]

I agree wholeheartedly. I must admit I love helping with the dogs, especially my neighbors dog because he reminds me so much of my Bear. Pets are loyal to a fault and that is why I love them so much.

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

Have you looked into getting a 4 legged friend?

[bluemoon2u in reply to dangerousmind4523]

Hi how have your days been going?

[dangerousmind4523 in reply to bluemoon2u]

I am allergic to pet dander but I suit up on occasion and play with them anyway. To answer your question, kind of- I don’t think I could take anyone ever hurting my four-legged companion again.

[Gentlespirit12345]

Be willing to listen and care because some people will not care and don't even want to listen. Emotional and psychological pain is difficult to deal with and unfortunately many people don't want to be bothered unless something bad or traumatic happens to them. Just listen and try to understand.

[dangerousmind4523]

Just be there for her. She is going to need moral support and no judgements. She is already in a dark space in her head and heart. Supplying moral and emotional support would be a big help.

[Hidden]

Things aren’t normal but your caring is the same so you smile give a big hug show you care bring a food she likes a comforting gift if you can afford and say well this sucks but I’m so glad you’re here. Distraction is an amazing gift.

[dangerousmind4523]

I have been struggling as of late. Too many people I know and loved have passed away suddenly and I am dealing with my own “inner demons.”