How do I do it?

[JoanyAnne357]

How do I get back to my old self? The person that I was before my brother killed himself? I’ve been nothing but depressed and unlike able since he died. I’m 51 years old and I have no one to talk to. I have my therapist but only see her every 2 weeks . I’m so sick of not having any energy to do anything and all I do is look forward to getting into bed every night to watch tv. How the heck do I get out of this? Someone that I spoke to today told me that I have to get over it and move on. No one understands unless they have it happen to them. Help??

[Chantalmarie1988]

Oh wow I am so sorry. I am sorry I cannot relate Im immensely sorry you’re in so much pain. I think time definitely does heal. Obviously, you’ll always miss him and you’re are entitled to feel your pain, sadness and whatever else emotions you may feel . Suicide is scary and confusing and I know you want answers and I’m so sorry that you are always left with those thoughts of WHY. One day that empty hole in your heart will become a bit smaller and as time goes by you’ll feel like your normal self eventually, it may not be tomorrow or the next day but one day you’ll find happiness and feel content. You’re grieving and you have every right to. People that say “ just move on” are ignorant and don’t understand and I’m sorry someone said something so insensitive to you. I know it’s not the same but I recently lost my dog. I had him for 15 years , half of my life ! And I miss him every day but holding on to the special memories and photographs of him help me keep his memory alive in my head. Have you gone to any grief support groups or a psychiatrist? maybe to see if there are any medications that may help you ? There’s no shame in taking medicine,I promise you that. Maybe you should join some local groups to socialize and find new hobbies and new friends to go to dinner to, museum,play sports. Paint, movies etc. I think MEET UP is a great source to meet people and there is tons of new activies from paddle boarding to volunteering with Habitat with Humainity l. I know when I feel down I like to help others because I know I am making someone else happy and that’s a great feeling . I love to go to shelters and play with the cats and dogs or just go for a nice walk or drive along the coast at twilight. Try to remember your brother and all the good times and memories you had with him Writing in a journal, of the happy & good memories you have of him might help the emptiness you feel and you can look back at them and his memory will always live with you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Best of luck ! Message me anytime !😊✌🏻

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to Chantalmarie1988]

I am so sorry about your dog. 15 years is a long time. I do go to meet up groups once in a while but I should go more often. Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it!

[Chantalmarie1988 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

Of course 😊

[Hidden]

How can you go back? You experienced a life changing event. You need to find the new normal. Anyone says anything tell them you are normal. Grieving is a process not a condition that can be treated. You need to go through the process of grief to learn the new normal. People can be cold. You are normal and we are here to listen and support you in this time of need. We might not have the answers but we are here to just be with you in your grief. 🤗

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your comforting words!

[newcomit6 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

i started having sleeping problems i tried solution i found the magic cure which is sex

[AZ1970]

I’m so sorry for your loss of your brother. How long has he been gone? Depression is a stage of grief. Sometimes we can get stuck in a stage. Then we cannot get out of it. Have you seen a grief counselor? Depression is like walking through mud all day long. You expend so much energy to even take one step. It’s no wonder we just want to be in bed.

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to AZ1970]

It’s been 8 years. That’s why I’m so worried that I’ll never come out of this

[kenster1 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

its been 18 years since my son was killed I think at times each day im stuck in a time warp.its hard but I survived on his memory for a long time still cant accept it but I have to live with it.

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to kenster1]

So sorry for your loss. It never goes away!

[AZ1970 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

I cannot presume to know the answer. I can only share my experience. Death is final. There are no do-overs. This creates a helplessness that we may not feel so deeply any other time. There is a definitive "before" and "after". I lost my dad 8 years ago. For the longest time I felt I had to get back to normal. But the reality was I could never go back to that. I had a new normal. Part of that was accepting that my life no longer had him in it. I would not be able to change that. The other thing I had to learn is that just because I begin to move through the grief, it does not negate the love I have for him. The depth of my grief does not show the depth of my love. I wonder what kind of messages go through your mind in regards to him (and you). I don't want to sound insensitive to your feelings by saying this. Please remember that your brother's death does not define his life. It sounds like you love him so much. I imagine he would want you to focus on his life and he did not want anyone to be harmed by what he did. Of course we know those left carry such deep grief. He wasn't able to see that. I am sending you a big hug!

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to AZ1970]

Thank you for your insight. I appreciate it

[newcomit6 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

Welcome

[newcomit6 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

I Feel the world weight on my heart and shoulders

[newcomit6 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

God Mercy Us

[trapis2]

My brother also did that and I so understand what you are going through !! I was angry with him for doing that and went through all the WHYS ?? Gradually understood there was nothing I could have done for him, he lived 12hrs away. I finally got over being mad at him and could let him go. He did what he felt he had to. Now I remember the good he had in him and just wish he had chosen another way to help himself. You will get to that point!!! It just takes time and just feel okay about mourning him, it's normal. Hugs to you

[newcomit6]

we are stuck in this sickness

[newcomit6]

we wish get back as we were before

[newcomit6]

this sickness in war with us

[newcomit6]

i feel it like someone digging in mountain

[newcomit6]

we are living in a world called Depression

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to newcomit6]

Absolutely!

[newcomit6 in reply to JoanyAnne357]

we feeling like napalm bomb going to explode

[purposelife]

So sorry for your lost. What an insensitive thing for someone to say. Everyone grieves differently. My sister passed away almost 2 years ago and that is something I will never get over. By the help of God, I learn to cope with it. Praying for your strength and comfort. Take care

[JoanyAnne357 in reply to purposelife]

Thank you and I’m so sorry for your loss

[Redfox9]

It's easy to say to move on but hard to do it. You have to forget everything, it will take time, lot of time, but you have to be patient. It must be hard to stay alone, have a cat or a dog, it will definitely help you keep busy and forget everything.

[newcomit6]

Do you trust her

[newcomit6]

You cant back to your old life

[newcomit6]

i wish i get back in good health a year ago

[newcomit6]

the last time i was in good health 3th January 2018

[newcomit6]

my health damaged by 2 years girl

[newcomit6]

my sister and her daughter damaged my life

[newcomit6]

10 months passed i felt pain and anger