I'm so frustrated rn. How am i supposed to heal with a family like that?

[Against_the_current]

Today we should have gone on a holiday with me, mom, sis and Grandma. But mom texted me sis is having temperature and will see If she feels better. I worried about my sis but just waited and thought "woah i was so scared of missing out classes, volunteering events, progetcs and homeworks for this vacation and it might not happen". Later mom called and said they're coming. Sis probably feels bad and sacrifice herself for mom and Grandma. Mom told me to call granma and tell her. I called granma and she was crying and bragging about lighting prayer candles at the church and crying herself off on the phone. I can't go on a d*mn holiday without my family crying themselves off. I want to scream. I'm out of myself. How will i go on a holiday with them when i'm so mad. And i told granma "see, you're at work(she works at the church) If sis was okay, we would be already there picking you. Would you leave your work?!". She said "The priest is here". I said "See, you wouldn't leave". She said "but the priest is here". This made me think she doesn't even understand she wasn't ready and she has different priorities. Mom just wants to take granma everywhere because all she cares about us her reputation - she wants to be the perfect daughter and mom. That's why she goes furious seeing me and sis messaging dad or anyone about her (i even started writing my journal in English so she can't read). Mom wants to be the perfect daughter and invite granma everywhere (granma is old and sick, she doesn't need this) while making me call her and making me take care of her. Like mom's like "i want good reputation so i'm adopting a cat but you take care of the cat. And don't you dare complain from the cat or i'm giving you and sis to your dad and your worst nightmare his new family because i can't take care of you. But i want to take care of the cat". And meanwhile unimates are calling me for guidance on the homework because i love to help and i'm having high marks, but i can't even write the homework myself. And i was really frustrated from talking to grandma and i told the unimate that i'm upset right now. My roommate heard me asked me why i'm screaming. I told her everything. She said "ohhh, i can't with you 🤦‍♀️". I'm feeling so embarassed in front of my roommate, and so bad that she saw me like this. Like everyone do with me. I'm hopeless. I will calm down, i just felt unfair. I feel bad for being too much. I'm too much even for myself. If only my family gave me a break so i could recover. 4 days ago i lost it again but i think i didn't even write it here. When i talk or text someone upset, i'm too much but mom will make me call crying granma.

[Mohammad-341]

It happens.family realation ship are for caring also. If it's not serious go ahead alone or with a friend

[Against_the_current in reply to Mohammad-341]

I can't. They picked me up from my accomodation to take me on this trip

[Mohammad-341 in reply to Against_the_current]

It's great experience. Enjoy

[Against_the_current in reply to Mohammad-341]

It's a terrible experience. Both me and sis are for hospital rn and i'm trying to not kill granma and i have to sleep with her, instead of in my accomodation where i have a room away from those people.

[Roxylox]

Feel for you. Have to walk on eggshells with family sometimes

[Against_the_current in reply to Roxylox]

Same. I can't anymore 😭