Dad left me on seen again. I sent him a pic of my score in some videogame we played and he didn't even give me "š". Just seen. I'm scared he is too busy with the damn baby and doesn't care about me anymore.
I have so much guilt. I was anxious this morning (about how mom and sis are behaving together alone) and i texted mom and she responded and i calmed. And i feel so bad for hating on her while he's the idiot.
āI'm scared he is too busy with the damn baby and doesn't care about me anymore.āYou are making artificial connections. False equivalence.
1. Maybe he is too busy with the baby. The baby cannot survive without a caregiver. Adults donāt need that level of care.
2. That doesnāt mean he stops caring about you. Iām sure he cares a great deal. He is your father.
What would help you become more able to be independent? What is holding you back?
fathers love all their dhildren tho they all differ....its extremely hard to get that accross to people as a parent has to proirtize and as the person above rightly said.....parents must attend like triaging....and roles change requiring everyone to develo more*** security inner security.......to allow parents to attend to the most vulnerable. On the other hand most parents hand u complments of .......respect, responsibility and less praise..........but as they ask u to do things.......taht** is the complemnt.............need u to xyz ........ur not a slave ur an adult and they are leaning on u because they can and thats part of life in a famliy....they wont have as much time now but later they will be there for u on major things and the fact that they dont have to hold ur hand and ur part of their team....helpingt out.....is life skil training for furture jobs............who can i count on ? the baby or U...........
i may not say it often enough as a father..........but ....i treat u on an order higher........and same as bosses wil.............not what u look like but ur relaiblity and maturity.......the highest form of praise.........
fathers love
is forever.....whether u know it or not........all idfferntly expressed.....but an endless love
Iām not a parent but I imagine the struggle of letting go is half not wanting to and half knowing you are successful if they can live without you.
i think what u said was fab
iv been an instructor for so long that each year i have to raise and then let the eagles fly away.....u just hope uve done ur job and someday they will realize uhad to do hard thngs because u cared......i think for most peope what u said is true......i havent seen my son in 6 years and prob never will .....cant force love or relationships....as long as hes on his way....its his life.......but thanks...
I feel like that my step son doesn't even talk to me I love him like he is my biological son and he is the only child I will have but I'm just the guy who married his mom. But that aside not feeling loves by your dad is rough I bet, but you can't make what you think his feelings are the center of your life my own personal recommendation is to stop texting him work on loving yourself and forget about what you think he is feeling maybe if you don't seek out his attention he will reach out to you. I know it sounds callous but loving yourself is far more important the rest will come.
I donāt know the details but āthe damn babyā is way over the line. You need to be careful where you direct your anger. It should never be thrown at a baby. Figure out why you are so angry and address it. Your hostility towards āthe damn babyā is a strong reflection of your issues and needsā¦ nothing to do with an infant. That is not cool at all!
Please stop defending it. "Damn" isn't such a bad Word. Please guys, you're breaking me š
If you tell me not to be angry, i will only become more angry. Litterary my life is ruined. And you just have some uncounscious drive on life. But i'm a depressed nihilist it's only driving me insane. I wasn't like this. Just i'm ruined since november 2020.
It??? You have a lot of work to do on yourself. Because right now you are self-centered, immature and petty. I draw this conclusion from your words.It?? Calling a baby damn & Trying to justify it by saying that your insult is not that bad? Are you serious? You want us to cuddle you but youāre attacking an infant in a hissy fit like a petulant six-year-old. Are you gonna stomp your feet and hold your breath because not enough people are paying attention to you? Theyāre not jumping quick enough to respond to you? Oh he didnāt give me enough of a response on my video game scoreā¦ such entitlement.
No honey thatās not how the world works. That baby didnāt do anything to you. You are jealous and insecure. Work on that without attacking an infant. Innocent individuals should never be a target. Yet you attack a child and then expect to come out of it as the innocent. Playing the poor me game. Grow up. Put your anger in the right place so you can deal with it.
Please get your self together.
Be honest with yourself and about what is happening in your heart & head. Then instead of making excuses and blaming (yourself or others) make progress. Donāt ever blame an infant for your failings.
Good job bringing down someone who is already down. I express my frustration towards just words and words that only you here see. Irl i bear all the abuse i'm put through. And let me tell you i wasn't this monster i seem to you, i'm just broken. I lost a good person and you're making me grieve them. Probably i'm lost. Well great, my environtment succesfully made me a monster. I'm the bad guy for saying "damn" As If i have killed someone. There are psychopath out there killing, raping, making wars but i'm the bad guy for expressing my emotions. I'm supressing so much of them that i got physically sick. And almost died. But Who cares. I don't know why people care only about babies and unborn babies (like banning abortions but them not giving a damn about shootings in school). Actually i do know - Freud calls it the urge for life Eros and in this urge the urge to reproduce is combsined. There is a twin urge to this Tanatos - the urge for agression. Basically one side of the coin is blaming me for being on the other side. But the world is overpopulated, global warming, pandemics, covid is only the begging, wars, starvation, even the bread rots in 2 days. We have no resources, espessially since the war started. I'm in East europe, here it's a survior show. You don't know half of the things i'm through and have been through. I bear the abuse of my roommates because dad won't give me more money to move out and because i can't get a job in this crisis. Basically the bread here got twice more expensive and twice less quality. But be double-face okay. Support the baby and hate me. Support those who media write for and forget the rest. But let me tell you - i don't see sence in life. I don't see sence in babies. Espessially that he has 2 other daughters he forgot. Espessially that it broke me. Espessially that i'm starving in my accomodation, trying my best to be kind my roommates and all their friends. Because i had to move out of home because mom was drinking every day because of what dad did. Sis is irritateable. Yes, i am mentally ill, everyone in my place would be. I see the people i love most rot. If you think i'm pretty, harsh and whatever you call me (but then hate on me for using hate speech myself) you should see my mother. You should see everyone in my country. Litterary english slurs are a nursery rhyme compared to bulgarian ones. And litterary language is the only way i can express these emotions, to get them out. I don't harm anyone irl. I'm silent and docile. But i got physically sick from the emotional pain. Yes, went to doctors, went to psychiatrists, to therapists. Yesterday i had a therapy session. Monday i will see the doctor. But here we don't have the priviledge of good doctors and therapists. The difference between western therapists and east europen therapists is cosmic. And i don't even have money for bulgarian therapists what comes to western. Litterary 1 hour with an American therapist costs more than 1 semester in my university. Yes, i don't have the priviledges some people have and i might have negative emotions. But this is a site about anxiety and depression not Disneyland. Even in Disneyland there are troubles. For example take greek mythology. Read something. I have greek origin but russian communism dictatorship erased my heritage before i was even born. People were telling me "You're slavic" and now they're telling me "You're white". I'm thracian-hellinistic. Like Hercules talking about Disney and kids. But in thracian culture life is an agony. A birth is equal to a funeral. Actually funeral were quite like parties. Okay, nobody knows about this, so imma give a better example - in Sparta they threw up babies out of the fortress If they didn't like them. Sparta is a city that alone defeated the mighty Persia. Persia the rich and powerful empire. Meanwhile in 2020 the world was scared of a war with Iran. And Iran is the present day name of Persia. In 2021 for my birthday all our united forses lost Afganistan. Women were made into just baby incubators. Humans have equal rights whatever their Age is. In 2022 A C women in Afganistan have no rights. In 2022 B C in Sparta and Mizia women fought in wars. Now gods hate women and want reproducing, back then gods were both male, female, transgender, hermaphrodit (it comes from Hermes and Aphrodite, the bigender kid they had) and had all kinda of human emotions. It was okay to be gay. Now people are being killed. Like oh no save the baby and 15 years later kill it cause it's female or gay. This makes no sence. People have equal rights at all ages. In your logic why don't we just kill elderly? Because it's insane. And i have freedom of speech. Unless we get back conquered by Russia that you are scared of, the same way you're scared of Persia(Iran,Iraq and Afganistan). Well, i will be just trying to survive, being first line close to all them and living an year with less money than a westener would spent on an i phone or a holiday. Watching my mom rot from trauma and drinking. Watching my sister lose will to live. She's a genius in bio-chemistry, what a loss depression will make her the same monster it made me and mom. I just hope mom won't abuse her this night. I grieve myself. I used to be normal and kind but this world made me loco. Call me insane, i'm litterary starving so just some hate from a stranger online would be just another stone. Actually i care, i do care. I care about everything said to me. But it's actually good because the anxiety i got from reading your comment made me nauseus and i skipped a meal. So thank you for causing me more psychological disstress. As you see i'm coping really well. (sarcasm Sheldon). And i can say hate never stops hate. Yoda said anger is the way to the dark side and anger is a fear. I'm not that monster, i'm just afraid. I grieve myself. Before the...... well i will replace it with trauma, so before the trauma i was a good person, now i'm just some psychopath (wish i was, If i was i wouldn't care what people think of me and wouldn't be crying of a random comment of a person i don't know and writing a long explaining that you will only think of me as more insane). I had a whole villain arc. But you know when you're in Hell, you become a demon, and the brighter of Angel you were, the worse of a demon you will be. But now i have to take my meds because i have been writing for a long time, translating myself in my head. Taking all the time for you (feel special) to explain like 5% of the Hell i'm living in just to adjust the judge ment i got for using 1 Word. That really is nothing. It's just proceeding of emotions that i can't proceed irl. Irl i have to be kind and well-behaved. Which Led me to chronic illnesses. Supressed emotions lead to chronic illnesses. But Who cares since i'm 20? People would only care If i was a baby. Who cares that in my 20s i drink meds like a 90 years old. Also here we don't leave our elderly in those places they take care of them. And we don't get babbysitters. Because people matter. Well, they used to. My granpa is the only good person in this family (unless sister) and dad left him to have another baby. Dad's Age isn't for this. And uncle left him to immigrate in the UK and had baby there. And Grandma left grandpa to go to the UK to take care of uncle's baby. I saw the best person rot just because everyone left him. Because apparently babies are a first priority. I tried to go there, take care of himself on my own but i'm disabled myself. And this place is a survior. The bathroom is outside and the electricity is stoping. The bathroom is outside too. And there are animals and dangerous people. And i'm disturbing his sleep with my nightmares. I finally got back home, covered in my own blood because i couldn't wash it. I realized i was more of a burden that i'm of help. Wish i was never born. You're right. I'm useless and insane. Please do yourself a favour and don't spend time to respond to a miserable being like me. Also i won't be able to take it and pills for nausea are expensive. So If not having mercy on my self-esteem, have mercy on my stomache. A chronically ill stomache. Thank you
You cannot justify being a bully. You can throw all the words and all the justifications you think you can find at the situation but it boils down to very simple concept. When you threaten an infant and you blame your failings on a small child thatās wrong.
When you address your problems in a healthy way, instead of blaming everyone else and being narcissistic then you can find success and peace.
Itās funny that you use the words useless and insane where I didnāt read anybody else using those terms. Interesting how you reflect your own self-identity. Might want to talk to a counselor, rather you really need to talk to a counselor! A trained professional can give you the attention and direction that you need. You say you study psychology, ok there should be a counselor at school that can help you. Talk to your advisor - talk to your teacher. Iām sure theyāve noticed a difficulty. Best of luck.
He broke me so, so much, and I called it love
Am i being selfish?
Gay Ex-Husband Has Me Depressed