Scared

I have now had 5 days where I have been able to breath without using blue inhaler am I celebrating this fact...in parts...but here she is *voice of the future* saying thst won't last you know what's coming...twice today I felt normal happy even...then that voice said..* Remember the stages of grieving you're in denial yesterday angry now today denial* I come back I have had 5 breath easy days. Will it be the same tomorrow who knows.

Can I thank those of you who understand depression and anxiety and have supported me and not judged me xxx

[lillyofthevalley37]

Is it an actual voice that says that ?

[Hidden in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

No my inner voice

[Hidden]

I am so glad you posted this because I always wondered if others had that negative voice in their head. It's almost like the depression directly talking to you anytime something goes wrong (or right). I'm not sure if that was what you meant, but you're not alone there. It's hard to silence that voice because it's there waiting to see you fail.

Continue praising yourself for your accomplishments. That step still matters and despite the voice that is putting you down, you still went through five days breathing without help. No voice in your head can change what you have done.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You understand me correctly...I have a progressive disease and right now I am not too bad at all...but then that voice reminds me this will change..so I am not living in the here and now

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle; I truly can't imagine what you're dealing with. But this makes more sense as to why you feel this way (and is completely understandable). I hope talking it out at least helps as you can only do so much to slow down the disease you're suffering with. Continue doing all you can and try your best to keep quieting that voice.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I started off determined to slow it down to a snail's pace but then lost all hope...some woman's husband has been stable for 21 years..but my voice says, *that's a one off that will never happen to you* I say why can't it happen but my voice wins on that one.

How are you anyway

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

If you don't mind my asking, what is your ailment disease wise? Is this something that will eventually take away something precious from you?

Anything that your body has to fight I would imagine would be scary regardless. You truly don't know how much of what you are able to do can help, but I could see how that would make anyone depressed. You're living day by day fighting a difficult battle.

Definitely better than yesterday, thank you for asking

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have asthma and emphysima which destroys the lung..and is a progressive disease I was told stop smoking will prevent it getting worse but what I have read from other sufferers it does get worse..some end up on oxygen. Losing independence as getting dressed bath cooking all those everyday task are taken away for some.

I am a very independent woman losing that scares me gasping for air scares me..not being able to do the things I can do now scares me...feel happy I am having some good days but then my voice says " that will not last..

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh no....that's terrible. So do you smoke currently? I am sure if you stopped, it would help for sure. But I am sure it helps alleviate stress for you? Seriously, that must be so scary. I am really so sorry you're dealing with this right now. It pains me to hear such things.

Good for you though for being independent though. That alone is not easy at all. I give you a lot of credit for having the guts to write about all this on here. At the end of the day, you have to take care of you and your life still matters.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I no longer smoke not smoked since 1st December last year when I was admitted to hospital so I hope this does help

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So what's your story tell me to mind my business if you want

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ha, definitely too long to post here, but nothing out of the ordinary. Just someone who is coping with depression/anxiety and struggles with thoughts of suicide often. I'm a deeply lonely person at times and would give anything to end these feelings.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Then this is a great place to be

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So far it seems to be. I haven't posted much, but I been trying to read what others have to say and that is comforting.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Glad it's helping to know you are not alone