Not a great day today : Hi knew it... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Not a great day today

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Hi knew it wouldn't last but realise I am.feeding my negativity, by reading post old and new on lung forum...I don't know why I can't stay in the present. I had 4 breath easy days so far, but memory rubbish. Then Instead of thanking God for my 4 good days...thst voice I will now call the future sets in....this won't last you will get worse and worse then die...Mary I promise you I wouldn't look, but wanted to see if I could find someone, any one who hasn't progressed and I know now fully that's what I am looking for...I have called Dr to chase my counselling.

I also need to book a hearing test. My fear crippling me again.

Sorry for being so stupid. Me saying but you are ok isn't helping me. To day I need to find peace of mind and I don't want to be doing this...some one said tomorrow isn't promised....God please help me...I am still unable to accept my diagnosis

36 Replies
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I know you have...had Sunday pushed Monday pushed today just struggling quite badly that's all....you know my thoughts better than any one on here

Sillysausage234
Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden

On your bad days draw strength from your good ones

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Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234

Actually did not think thst way will try that makes sense...Thank you will try

Sillysausage234
Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden

Your welcome Emily...the lung site can be daunting probably best you avoid it come on here for support if you’re frightened

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Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234

You are right it is daunting and yes I need to be here as I can discuss how I feel and why....

Emily

Accepting of any diagnosis takes a long time. There will be ups and downs on the journey. Good days and bad days. Days you can stay in the present and days your mind wanders to your future. All normal.

I've learned with myself that it takes constant work to keep the anxiety and depression in check. That's a big part of your battle right now.

Are you keeping a journal? Writing down how those four days went and how you were able to stay present? I find journaling to be very helpful.

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Hidden in reply to Dolphin14

I never thought of doing that and thank you for saying I will have up and down day...

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Hidden in reply to Dolphin14

're read your message...fear of the unknown....so I may not get as bad as I fear..have to try and hold on to that

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Hidden in reply to Dolphin14

Thank you so so much for this evening Thank you with all my heart

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HyperCat sorry your mild. Well would jump for joy if I was you your diagnosis for 11 years amazing and what can i say understand why you get so annoyed with me..I need to remember to be careful as went to hospital without my mask today, that's because I have breathed well 3 days in a row.

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Why though I don't get the significant of early/ late diagnosis but I am a simpleton.

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I am glad you are mild and you will be ok as that's what you deserve as you support so many of us..my moderate isn't so bad I guess but nearer severe. Wish if I was truely mild. My consultant said mild emphasiuma but fev1 79% this I believe is my asthma component but what do i know

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I am not being negative just going by gold standard 79% is top end moderate even my respiratory nurse said so and that was without inhaler...so see my consultant said one thing my nurse say another. I felt rough for weeks now feel breathing wise great think that's down to forstair inhaler..no blue inhaler for 4 days now. Not sure how long this will last but anyway..time for bed..either way hope I am able to remain stable for years

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One point at moment

Emily...you are 1% away from being mild, and on another day your fev could improve and you are mild!! Please celebrate this fact....my fev is 35% and I am getting on with my life. I work full time, walk the dog for miles, ice skate every week. Yes on occasion I get breathless..but deal with it and carry on. Getting breathless times is actually good for you. You don't stop going out because you fear someone may hurt you, or eat because you might be poisoned....you could be knocked down by a bus tomorrow or killed in a plane crash but do you allow those thoughts to stop you going on holiday or leaving your front door??? There is a book my Louise hay....called You can heal your life...a very good read along with other self help reads. You are wasting your life being negative but only you can take charge. I am speaking from experience...I was sexually abused when I was 12 by 2 different people, raped when I was 22, had cancer in my 30's and again In my 40s...lost everything, home, marriage, business when I was 48 and had to start again on my own...with nothing....I retrained in another career and am self employed, have a roof over my head, and live a very happy and fulfilled life. I wad diagnosed last year with copd...severe and just get on with living...I choose to be happy and not a victim...but if you want to wollow in self pity so be it x. Get the book and learn to take control

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Hidden in reply to Skatergirl1

I am not wollowing in self pity I on this forum is expressing how I feel no wollowing expressing....I read your life story and to be honest apart from cancer, we share some similarities of which I am not going to go into....this is depression and anxiety, not wollowing I am not haggling about 1% mild moderate to severe to very severe, it's progression and being disabled not being able to look after myself, bed ridden...I have fast forward to the future, because of whst i have read about this disease. Now I am not expressing myself on the lung forum bringing people down with my "negativity' I am here on this forum with others who are suffering from depression and anxiety.for a multiple of reason..you were diagnosed last year, I got full diagnosis May this year in fact 30th may so it has really been a matter of 3 months...please think back to how you felt when first . I appreciate we all have opinions but I ask that you not be so judgement of my state of mind. I do not want to progress, I know I could get knocked over but if that does not happen I will progress. If I don't die in my sleep, I will progress, if if if I get what you are saying but my depression and anxiety isn't allowing me to accept it. This is not wollowing in self pity..right now I am ok I can do everything for myself.. I am not the only one with this diagnosis who feels like this and they are at a similar stage to me, are they too wollowing in self pity or are they just expressing themselves. When they tell me how they feel do I say stop wollowing in self pity...and get on with it.

79% fev1 means nothing to me, have you got emphysema and asthma. I don't actually understand the significant of it as it is variable. I understand emphysima is destroying my lungs and eventually I will be end stage if I live that long and not meet with some disaster. That is my mind set because I am scared and depressed and my psycriatist said this is a normal reaction to being given a diagnosis like this...as I said show me some who have remained stable for many years I listen to my nurse saying *you won't get any worse now you stop smoking excercise eat healthy and I realised that was a lie now I will not apologise anymore for feeling how I feel. I was diagnosed Jan undiagnosed Feb then diagnosed May 30th so no not wollowing petrified

And telling me I may never get to the severe stage makes no sense to me what's so ever. I know everyone with this disease has some level of anxiety and it gets them down. You yourself was down for a short period when you had your last test..you had lost more lung function or what ever it is we lose. You said in that post you was scared for your future, you bounced back and thats great. But the fact that you lost so much in such a short soace of time scared me, and fed my anxirty. Reading about lung reduction and transplant scared me. As i said brought this to the attention of nurse who is still insistent I will get no worse have not come to terms with it My dear friend went from 83% Jan to 52% June, that scared me I am not going to apologise for my mental state.. no one should have to or be made to feel they need to get a grip..I feel in fact being open and honest about how I feel is a strength. We are all individuals. I am struggling to come to terms with this disease and what it means for my future I am not you I am me

And I also know if people were just getting on with it they would not be anti depressants...so many reading between some lines are desperate to be reassured they will get no worse. Asking things like when diagnosed what stage how long did it take to progress. I am at a loss why I am not allowed to feel how I feel

And if you bothered to read my other post you will not I went to my daughter's and although struggled did it...I CANT GET PAST WHAT I HAVE READ

, But I am glad you are happy I truly am..oh and good luck with your further test, sure what ever the outcome you will deal with it xx

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How did you react when first diagnosed

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I thought you had emphysima and asthma we are different good luck with keeping your % emphysima is different to copd caused through asthma..still dont get your mild diagnosis as your in the high 70s which to me is moderate. 62 would definitely be moderate as I was 62 in Jan and said moderate

I guess I need someone who has my diagnosis who stated stable well o2 I guess did for a while i actually don't know if she did

Stay always as you are xxx

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No I said I had emphysima and asthma. Just re read fix air caused by badly controlled asthma is different toand the copd caused by empthasima is whst I meant

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Poorly managed asthma can result in copd

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I never said emphysima was more serious I said we have different lung conditions and I don't like the umbrella term as treatment is treatment can be different.

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Hidden in reply to Hidden

Lung reduction is not offered to bronci sufferers I am with redsox on this one..I have emphysema and asthma

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Not worried about my asthma. But thank you...

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Emphysema is a form of copd

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Change what?? I can't change my diagnosis you mean...I am struggling to accept the prognosis not diagnosis..well guess knowing what I know I guess struggling with diagnosis and prognosis

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And this is about anxiety and depression surely that's why I am on this forum. Splitting hairs about the type doesn't change how I feel and?? Can I keep my 79% and have no further lose of aveoli...which affects my co2 and oxygen doubt it but wouldn't it be great if the answer was yes...as my depression and anxiety wouldn't be so strong...I would be fine. So I Can not have people tell me my depression is nothing because my depression and anxiety over my recently diagnosed condition is real

79% I won't keep will I HyperCat

I was just letting you know we all have things that we gave to deal with in life and was merely suggesting a book that I found use full and thought you may too, but you have not acknowledged that. I won't respond to any thing else you post. And please don't message me. Thank you.

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Hidden in reply to Skatergirl1

I won't message you..I now acknowledge the book. I just wanted you to acknowledge my depression and anxiety. I acknowledge what you said about book . The message was so you know what I have been through and come through and so you know I don't crumble at each hurdle. This one due to all I have read scares me. I have asked questions on copd forum as I realised expressing how I feel was in appropriate on there. On here it's ok to say suicidal self harm and update people on whst Dr said..

I felt a little attack by you maybe thst was not your intent

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Question whst is health anxiety honestly don't know the difference

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I not only have to worry about lung function I also have to worry about my aveolis

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HyperCat it's reading how people deteriorate on forum talk of lung reduction transplant valves oxygen that scared me...not understanding my condition then reading about emphysima that triggered my depression health anxiety as before u all told me excercise flu short healthy eating no smoking and I would be fine you talked about bring 120 I embraced it all. Nurse saying I would be fine...it was checking how people on the forum progressed thst scared me

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Right first read what I wrote never have I said I am dying nor got long left ..I wrote about having good days but that inner voice (anxiety and depression )pushing me to my future. What does no one get my I acknowledge I have accepted my diagnosis. You telling me get over it is telling me to get over my depression. This is about depress ion as one lovely lady said when I said excercise healthy eating flu jab ect ...she said until she can accept her condition she can't.

Suck what up my anxiety my depression. HyperCat. Read what I wrote my Dr said this is Normal to be depressed.. also no my mind doesn't believe you won't progress much one Dr says not at all one slowly nurse you won't at all, another slowly . No one knows. It's my mental state that's is attacking me not my condition....but I won't post on here...either

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Actually I again will not apologise for expressing how I feel on here this is a 2 day old post..which I was going to delete but no because if I ever do accept my condition this is my journey and I will be abke to see how far I have got or how many good days i have had.

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You have an additional handicap with anxiety and stress which may not help your breathing, Extra stress can cause adrenal fatigue. It may seem impractical as you are probably on drugs to help the anxiety, but the toxins relating to the drugs and some foods can be helped to removed by taking 1000mg of vitamin c. In cases of lung disease such as cystic fibrosis, vitamin c has a special function as it is present in the respiratory lining fluid of human lungs and local deficits occur with oxidative stress . It can help the lung function and secretions keeping the bronchioles free of sticky mucus. Have also found that coconut oil has a substance monolaurin which can help ward off viruses and help the nervous system. Know you have smoked but you don't have to be a smoker to have copd. Having had several bouts of double pneumonia so I could not walk, and tight breathing, I can understand your fear of being breathless. I found a decongestant over the counter medicine is extremely helpful and take a daily antihistamine which stops the glug.

You need support with a peak flow meter test which should be monitored by a nurse.

Breathing exercises may also help.

Breathing infor the count of three with mouth closed and then expiring with mouth open may improve the oxygen level in the blood.

Going outside to gain more oxygen in your lungs with gentle walking may help. Drinking water increases the oxygen in your blood stream, H20 (water) contains one part oxygen and two parts of hydrogen. You have had a negative attitude towards your condition but though it is a complex problem affecting your pulmonary artery and heart, you need to find ways to remove too much salt in food, as this can affect blood pressure. Avoiding spices pepper, curry may help . Removing tannins in tea and coffee which can result in a type of anaemia has helped as the blood may be affected by these drinks, If I have a coffee tea or chocolate I only have one spoonful of powder. As have been ill supporting my immune system has helped me focus on doing something positive to help myself. I have helped myself to better health when getting the brush off with little information. Asking for vitamin and iron levels every six months can help you as if you have a deficiency it may help your immune system

COPD symptoms in women: causes and natural remedies for COPD

tandurust.com gives some information which is helpful.

Keep positive.

l

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Final note my psycriatist said I am suffering clinical depression triggered by my diagnosis and prognosis. And thst I need to come to terms with it so yes this is my depression..you sent me to this forum.so u could express how I feel

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad.

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