I need to get stuff out. If anyone has words of encouragement, I would appreciate it. First of all, my 4 year old grandson is in critical condition in another state. My husband is on his way up there. I want to go along, but my PTSD symptoms are flaring up today. I don't think my mind can handle seeing my grandson hooked up to a bunch of tubes.
Yesterday I had a new psychiatric evaluation. It went well and I like my prescriber. I requested help with a letter for my graduate program's disability office. She got it to me today, which was amazing. I read the letter and it really has me distressed. Seeing all of my diagnoses listed in one place way hard. Plus she added Mood Disorder NOS which is code for "maybe bipolar but we don't know yet". I have never considered this as a possibility. Adding that to PTSD, MDD chronic and severe and rule out BED makes it seemed like I am really f-ed up. After all that, the university is only giving me one accommodation: extra time for assignments. I had asked to be allow to walk out of the classroom for 5 minutes to regroup if I get triggered. They wouldn't allow that.
It's best I don't go with my husband because I am starting to dissociate really badly today. My husband doesn't need to worry about me on top of everything else. I start school on line on Thursday and then in person in 8 weeks. I hope I can handle it.
Thank you for listening.