A Really Emotional Day: I need to get... - Anxiety and Depre...

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A Really Emotional Day

AZ1970 profile image

I need to get stuff out. If anyone has words of encouragement, I would appreciate it. First of all, my 4 year old grandson is in critical condition in another state. My husband is on his way up there. I want to go along, but my PTSD symptoms are flaring up today. I don't think my mind can handle seeing my grandson hooked up to a bunch of tubes.

Yesterday I had a new psychiatric evaluation. It went well and I like my prescriber. I requested help with a letter for my graduate program's disability office. She got it to me today, which was amazing. I read the letter and it really has me distressed. Seeing all of my diagnoses listed in one place way hard. Plus she added Mood Disorder NOS which is code for "maybe bipolar but we don't know yet". I have never considered this as a possibility. Adding that to PTSD, MDD chronic and severe and rule out BED makes it seemed like I am really f-ed up. After all that, the university is only giving me one accommodation: extra time for assignments. I had asked to be allow to walk out of the classroom for 5 minutes to regroup if I get triggered. They wouldn't allow that.

It's best I don't go with my husband because I am starting to dissociate really badly today. My husband doesn't need to worry about me on top of everything else. I start school on line on Thursday and then in person in 8 weeks. I hope I can handle it.

Thank you for listening.

15 Replies

Hi, I know you and I relate a lot. My heart and prayers go to your family, I sincerely hope your grandson pulls through this. I will message you as well...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandson. It must be especially rough with him so far away, and you can't get to him.

I am sending Well Wishes for a speedy recovery for your grandson.

And for you, here are calming, soothing hugs.

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970 in reply to Krazie

Thank you so much

Don’t take those diagnoses to heart. They aren’t who you are. They can’t define you. You are the only one who defines you.

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970 in reply to

Thank you. I will remember that.

in reply to AZ1970

Congratulations on working towards your graduates degree.

Hello AZ1970!

I’m so very sorry to hear about your grandson. I would probably go with my husband and then flip out once up there. If you feel like you can’t handle it, then you’re probably doing the right thing. I used to work in the Pediatric ICU and I know what kind of thoughts are conjured up by that. I’m not going to suggest that you not worry about your grandson because I know you will, and probably should. I pray for him to have a speedy recovery 🌷 School is always a bit**!! I admire you for taking it on! I have no further desire. If you’re like me, you’ll have to really focus on school to get through it! Please take care of yourself during this time of stress. You can message me if you want to chat! Wishing you and your family the best!! 🌷🙂🌷

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970 in reply to

Thank you for your encouraging words. He is breathing on his own today. We are all relieved. I’m glad I stayed home. I’ve had the house to myself all day. It has been a nice break.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to AZ1970

AZ, I so glad to hear your grandson is improving. Take care of yourself. Good days are coming. :) xx

in reply to AZ1970

Thank God! I’m so glad! See! You did the right thing for you...🙂🌺

I am so sorry to hear about your grandson. I wish you guys all the best and hope he has a quick recovery. I hope that you feel better soon too. Stay strong, friend. Best of luck xoxo.

I am SO sorry to hear about your grandson! I prayed for him just now. Please keep us posted. New diagnoses can be disheartening. Your request for regrouping time seems reasonable! Since denied, could you just use "restroom break" as needed?

AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970 in reply to lrperkins

I had thought about that. We are allowed to use the restroom. Thank you.

Im very sorry to hear about your grandchild. i can imagine your most likely feeling guilt too at not being there and that's ok to feel like that. I know I would feel exactly the same. I will be praying for him and you.

These labels are just names. It's hard not.to accept them. I know I hate the labels I have. But you can call me Dom, that's the label that matters. Just like a cake has a bunch of ingredients that all come together to make something special. You have different ingredients too. These make you who.ypu are and your husband, kids and Grandchildren will all love the you who is you.

Blessings to you ❤️

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