Wanting to quit counseling

[TheMeg]

I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere with her. I've been talking to her for a month now and the only thing she's done is point out that some things I thought were OCD were actually PTSD symptoms. I feel like I could just read some books and understand my mind to better help my issues. Am I just being naive?

[lillyofthevalley37]

You obvs don't have a good connection with this therapist?

[TheMeg in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

That's what I was thinking but I've never been to therapy before so I didn't really know what to expect. Everyone says it's a process so I thought maybe this was just part of it but it seems to be going on too long for that

[courageovercomfort]

How about trying a new counselor? Not everyone is a good fit for each other, in my opinion. I have seen 4 therapists in the past 10 years or so, and with my current one, finally found a great fit for me.

[TheMeg in reply to courageovercomfort]

I guess I'm just impatient. Plus the idea of having to tell the same stories over and over again until I find the right person seems incredibly frustrating

[jocie609 in reply to TheMeg]

It is frustrating but it’s worth it.

[courageovercomfort in reply to TheMeg]

Oh yes. I can relate to that. The thought (and all the fears that go with it) of finding a new one can be daunting.

[Byelka]

It may be good to try someone else; however, keep in mind you're still in the early phase of a relationship with your therapist. Usually it can take a few months for the therapist to get to know you to find what type of counseling/resources you need. When I first started the first month of appointments was a lot of her taking my history so she could understand me better. So you might want to give it a little more time. How often do you see the therapist?

[TheMeg in reply to Byelka]

Its an online situation. I didn't feel comfortable talking to someone in person so I use one of the websites that connects you to licensed therapists in a chat room. But that's another problem. She only responds like once a day. Sometimes not even that so it's incredibly hard to make any substantial progress

[Byelka in reply to TheMeg]

Is it possible to schedule a time to chat with her vs waiting for her replies?

[EleanorRose]

A bit like with any relationship, sometimes counselling relationships don’t work. Maybe you and her aren’t a good fit. I’ve had 3 therapists over the years. The second one I saw was not a good fit at all - I knew from pretty much the first session her style was not for me but I went for around 9/10 sessions in total before deciding to quit with her and it was such a relief.

I have a much, much better relationship with my current therapist. I felt much more comfortable and positive about it from my first session. It took a little while for me to feel completely comfortable and to start to see real change but I’m glad I’ve stuck with her.

If it’s not working, there’s no harm in finding a different therapist. It’s not naive at all, it’s about finding the best help for you.

[TheMeg in reply to EleanorRose]

I think I will start looking for a new one. But if the next one doesn't work out I might just try working on my own for a while before trying another new one

[EleanorRose in reply to TheMeg]

There’s no harm in having a little break from therapy. I sometimes feel like I have ‘therapy fatigue’ as I describe it - it can be a bit exhausting.

I’ve read some of your other comments about not feeling comfortable talking to someone in person. I understand this entirely - it took me months and months to be convinced to have therapy the first time. I really didn’t want to but it’s really not as uncomfortable as it feels like it might be. Different things are right for different people but you might find face to face therapy more beneficial if you can get past the initial fear of it.

[TheMeg in reply to EleanorRose]

I want to want to. Maybe I'm just not completely ready yet.

[Hidden]

To be honest, my therapist helped me so much..after my second visit, i was like, wtf, i dont need you..thst was the last and seriously it made me feel better, and smarter..something just opened up and made sense..thanks for sharing...good luck..

[TheMeg in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! I do feel better just by having tried it.

[Hidden in reply to TheMeg]

I was like you..tried one or two then realised i can do this on my own...really though, in my meetings i spoke about everything and anything i just got everything out..but your all good..do what you have to do and you can tell us your story one day..best wishes from melbourne Australia

[jocie609]

I think you might have to find another therapist. I had a therapist earlier this year that was nice but I found that I had to find another one because I need one who can understand me. Now the one I have is a lot better however I think that she just helps me to help myself by reminding myself of what I already know with some added insight. She also does use some self-disclosure to let me know that I’m not alone.