Paranoia and wanting to self harm

[giddy12]

I am being extremely paranoid and irrational tonight the only sense of comfort I have is knowing that I'm losing my mind means I haven't completely lost it. I have had multiple panic attacks tonight and am thinking some pretty horrid things. It got so bad to the point where I literally had to stop myself from banging my head into the wall. I have never had that urge before and the only reason I didn't is because there was still at least a small part of brain that knew better and god forbid I do something like that and my children wake up. I am honestly terrified right now. To the point where I feel like I need to check myself into a hospital so I don't hurt myself but I feel selfish with everything that is going on. This is so messed up, I feel trapped and its making me crazier.

[Hidden]

Are you there? Are you in the dark? If so, go turn on the light. Everything is worse in the dark and at nighttime because of feelings of total isolation and no one to talk to. Can you be more specific about your terror?

[Sprinkle1]

Sorry your brain is doing this to you. Have you talked to your Dr. about this, how long has it been going on? You obviously need help, have you got a therapist you can talk to? You may need some med's to calm your brain, once again talk to your DR. I am sorry you are in this pickle, talk to us here, we will do our best to help you, support you and give you love....I send you peace & love....Sprinkle 1...

[giddy12]

I ended up going to the hospital last night. My heart was racing and skipping beats and I really thought I was dying. It was so severe they had to restrain me at the hospital. I don't know why my heart does this but it so scary and just completely out of my control. I seen my psychiatrist today and he has prescribed me Ativan and Seroquel. But I am absolutely terrified of taking medicine so this is causing me a lot of anxiety.

I just cant win at this point.

[Poodie]

Hi giddy.

I was about to tell you to go to the hospital when I saw your post saying you did go last might. Good for you.! That was smart thinking on your part.

Medication can really be very helpful. I think you should follow the dr’s advice and take it . Please do another courageous thing to help yourself and take the meds. Your psychiatrist knows what is best for you and what you need.

I don’t know how long tthe meds will take to work but you may get some much needed peaceful sleep tonite or soon.

Best wishes and let us know how you are feeling. . ❤️

[giddy12]

Thank you. I am going to take my meds tonight my Seroquel at least. I am still absolutely terrified but I have to do it. I cant live like this anymore

[Poodie]

Good . Post and let us know how it goes.