Finding out something big: When I was... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Finding out something big

mreesaa profile image

When I was 16... I found out I was pregnant. It was bad timing overall.... I had just lost my virginity to a guy I thought was going to care about me.. When I told him I took a test and it was positive... He didn't believe me.. He called me a liar and blocked me on everything. I CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED. I didn't know what to do at that point. I couldn't go to my parents because I didn't believe they would accept me. I thought I would be in so much trouble... So I decided that I was going to get an abortion. Now, before anyone pro-life starts to judge me... I just want to say I am pro-life.... I just didn't believe I had any other option. I was 16 and wasn't in the mindset that I could raise a baby. So I went alone to get the abortion. I didn't tell anyone except one person that signed off on it. I didn't want anyone to ever know.... I never wanted to talk about it again.... But here I am... 2 years later... I am doing okay now.. But bad things keep happening to me and I believe it's because I gave up on a life. I murdered a baby... And everything happening right now is because I did that....

10 Replies

I just saw this and I’d like to tell you something my dad has always told me.

If you made the best decision you could on the day you made it with the skill set you had on that day you have nothing to shame yourself with.

Don’t drag this into your future. You know how you feel now and you were a child pregnant with a child. Please give yourself a hug and tell yourself you did the best you could do on that day.

I’m sorry you had to be alone. 💛

Doaty

Thank you so much... I really don't know how you found me on here but you are really making me feel slightly better..

Glad to help😊

Your choice was your choice based on the best experience and knowledge you had at the time. No one here can judge you until they have walked in your shoes. I can not image how hard that must have been. Now you will move forward with new knowledge and greater understanding of what happened. This is all you can do. Learn from what happened and try to make your world a better place for yourself. Know by the grace of the universe and/or God that things will get better. You aren't alone on your journey forward.

mreesaa profile image
mreesaa in reply to

Thank you so much!!!!!

You went by your best judgement. You knew what was best for yourself. Also, the baby could have had a lot of health issues considering you were so young. It would have been a huge responsibility. It is definitely okay to take care of yourself first. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Hang in there! <3

Thank you <3

I’m sorry this happened to you. The whole thing must have been terrible. FWIW, I am pro-choice, and the God I know would not punish you for this. You did what you thought was best at the time.

I'm so sorry that you went through such a painful ordeal, with no one to support you. I'm so glad you reached out on this site so you can hear words of support and comfort. Did you know that there are post-abortion grief support groups? Perhaps this would be a healing thing for you to do (I think most pregnancy resource centers have them). You need to know that you're not alone in this, and you shouldn't have to carry this burden one more day.

I know I would've done the same thing in your shoes, as I was sexually active at a young age and just assumed I'd get an abortion if I ever got pregnant. At the time, I wasn't pro-life, but I am now. I was totally ignorant about it being a life; I believed PP's lie that it was "just a piece of tissue." I didn't get pregnant, but I have a few dear people in my life who did have abortions, and although they've forgiven themselves, they think about that child every day. They know they'll see that child one day in heaven, which is a comfort.

I want you to forgive youself for the guilt you feel, as you are feeling the grief of the abortion, and also ask God to forgive you. He will SET YOU FREE! He wants us to come to Him with the things that burden us and weigh us down with sorrow, even if they are things we did that we continue to suffer over. He will completely restore you and you will have the peace that you long for. I'm not saying this because I'm judging you, I'm saying it because I had a load of bricks on my shoulders for years for the things I was ashamed of, and when I unloaded it all onto the Lord, I was forgiven, set free, and healed. This is what I want for you too! God waits patiently for us to come to Him, just waiting to pour out His love on us, if we'll receive it. Know that He is a God of renewal and restoration.

I've heard that some people, as an exercise in healing, have written a love letter to the baby they aborted. Pour out your heart to him/her. Some have even named the child. It's up to you whether or not this is helpful. Check out Jenny Kochert's writings about her abortion. Here's a quote from her: Once I discovered that this story was no longer a story of my shame, but instead, it was a story of Christ's redemption, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! The Lord was kind enough to give me opportunities to speak at local women's events. It was during this time that I learned how He anoints our stories to bring freedom to those in bondage.

More than anything, I want you to find healing so you can move past this and no longer be ashamed. Be kind and gracious to yourself. I'm praying for you.

when i was in college the condom broke and my boyfriend panicked and broke up with me (as if that would keep me from getting pregnant). i took the morning after pill. I've never felt guilty for that. a few years later I married that same boyfriend. what a mistake!! my belief was that if i ever had an abortion i would never ever tell anyone. but you can tell us. that's the good thing about this anonymous forum.

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