Hating myself today....: Sometimes I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Hating myself today....

brightbronzexo profile image
7 Replies

Sometimes I feel like I'll never become a mom, and that scares me to death. I've had 3 abortions in my youth because i was too much of a coward to break up with my ex that I didn't want to be with, so I would always let him guilt trip me into sex, even tho i hated having sex with him. Then when I got pregnant I hated him even more. I just knew he did it on purpose so that he could try and trap me. So I got an abortion. Twice. I felt so horrible afterward because I knew if it was by anyone else I would've kept it. But i hated him so much for trying to trap me. Then another time with someone else. I was so desperate to get prego and have a baby I got preggo on purpose and the guy didn't want anything to do with me. It broke me apart and i had an abortion a 3rd time. Although he was there thru it all i still felt so alone. I knew the only reason he stayed during was becuz he wanted to make sure i had it done. That's how much he didn't want me to have his child, smh... I've been depressed since all this began 9 years ago

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brightbronzexo profile image
brightbronzexo
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7 Replies
gerg profile image
gerg

Nothing that you do today will change your past. Acceptance of our past allows us to learn the lessons we need and move forward as a better person.

brightbronzexo profile image
brightbronzexo

Thank you. I will check it out

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

okay...I don't want to get into a debate with you because I am completely convinced your heart is in the right place...I am deleting my other comments because they are too close to the line on site policy about religion.

brightbronzexo profile image
brightbronzexo in reply tofauxartist

Thank u both for commenting. And the website did help me by reading the other women's stories...i appreciate both of u for caring about me in that way 😊I hope you both have a great week!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply tobrightbronzexo

I'm glad that worked out for you...I think Here_I_am is a great guy with all good intentions.

CaptainCrunch profile image
CaptainCrunch

Sounds like you have had a rough go at things. I am glad you are reaching out. Life can be so unbearably hard at times. Please keep posting. I am sure you will get the help you need and support you deserve.

brightbronzexo profile image
brightbronzexo in reply toCaptainCrunch

Thank you

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