Depression is not enough, I’m pregnant too

[Magic214]

So I found out I was pregnant almost 2 months ago. 😢 My bf of almost 4 years expressed to me that he was not ready and we should consider abortion. 😢😢 I’m already severely depressed and a mother of an amazing 5 year old (different dad). Having an abortion has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make and I still can’t make up my mind. 😢😢😢 My body is changing, but I’m definitely in denial. The clinic just called me to reschedule my appt. because I missed the one this past Saturday. I’m hurting so bad. Throughout all this, I have been journaling, Drawing, listening to music, dancing, relaxing my mind, pampering myself, spending time with my daughter and trying to remain positive. Unfortunately, none of this stops the overwhelming feeling I have of wanting to end my life. I don’t have health insurance rn, so the only medical help that is accessible to me is a mental facility. I’ve been once before and I felt like an animal. It was horrific and I’m not sure if it helped me or if I was just grateful to be released. It’s not fair to my daughter for me to always feel this way& I’m so mad at myself because I can’t just pull it together. God knows I try. At this point, either decision to abort the baby or go to the facility makes me dread going on another day. I’m stuck and now that I’m 10 weeks, the medical abortion isn’t even an option for me anymore😢😢😢

[Kaytee1981]

Oh I sorry your having to make such a massive decision when your feeling so low. You need to ask yourself some major questions and be truly honest with yourself and yourself only - you know the questions I wont belittle you with reeling them off.

Its awful when your decision is time critical too. I had an abortion a few years ago, it was a decision made as soon as I found out, I have 3 kids and the thought of another was too much but it didn't make the process any easier and I wasnt knowingly suffering depression then.

I think you need to focus on yourself and your daughter make you two happy. All the best with whatever decision you make, don't regret whatever that is or itll bring you down x

[Magic214 in reply to Kaytee1981]

I have asked myself over and over again. Although I struggle with depression, my daughter’s father helps me so much with her that I can distance myself for a day to get well. I know I’m a great mom to her, but lately I’ve been falling short because of all this drama at once. All the questions are tough because I am a great mom and I did want more kids. I just don’t want to bring a child in the world and the father isn’t going to do much. It’s unfair to the baby.

[kenster1 in reply to Magic214]

hi I wouldn't be wanting to abort a little baby because my partner doesn't want to bring it up he should have thought about using protection if he didn't want a baby.this could affect you forever and who is to say you will still be together.i know you maybe suffering more about making a decision but the baby isn't an it its a baby human inside your tummy.there is support out there your doctor would point you in the right direction to source the help you need.as afrohair said you could put the baby up for adoption give him/she a life they deserve and a couple a chance of having a baby they cant have for whatever reason.

[LlamaMama7]

Have you contacted any local churches or talked to a birthright center? In many areas there are free clinics that will help with pregnancy care. And no one is really prepared for being a parent so I wouldn’t listen to your bf. There are more options than what you think are out there. Be brave. And I’m sure you’re already a great mom.

[Magic214 in reply to LlamaMama7]

No, I haven’t. I’ll definitely check... it is starting to take a toll on me physically as I know I need to see an obgyn. Thank you and yes my daughter is the main reason I’m still here.

[Afrohair]

At end of the day it’s your decision what you do about this baby and if you really couldn’t abort it you could put the baby up for adoption lots of families are yearning for babies

[Afrohair in reply to Afrohair]

*him/her

[Magic214 in reply to Afrohair]

I thought of this too, but it brings me to tears. I hate being so indecisive. I wish I could just get rid of it and be strong.

[Magic214 in reply to Afrohair]

I’m sorry I should have clarified. I am no longer able to receive the “medical” abortion which is the pill. It’s less invasive. Now I am only able to get the surgical abortion 😢😢 and not for long. I’m not against adoption, I’m just small& my first daughter was a csection. If I carry this baby to term, it will take a big toll on me physically. But I’ll definitely look more into it. Thank you so much.

[Afrohair in reply to Magic214]

I understand but think how it would help someone who really wants a baby your already half way.theres lots of people who would take the baby as a new born you could even get paid to keep that baby if you look at surrogacy online etc they look after the financial side maybe it’s me I’ve just had a misscarrige so I’m looking at it differently to what you or anyone else might I desperately wanted my baby had her taken away from me I’m probably too much for this post and shouldn’t have commented in my state of mind at the minute and sorry if I’ve offended you in any way it’s absolutely up to you I know pregnancy for me is a roller coaster I have children already and know it’s hard for you

[Magic214]

Thank you everyone!

[wantobefree]

Ok, so, I am going to be honest and direct. If you are suffering from depression and it is already hard to take care of yourself and your daughter, then the best thing to do would be to not bring another responsibility into your life such as another child, therefore the wisest thing to do is to get an abortion. Since it is hard for you to make a decision, you should just look at it from the practical mind, not from your emotions, because then it will be even more difficult to do anything. What you want right now its to not be stuck, once you make a decision, you will feel better, the indecision is what gives you more anxiety.

If you cant have an abortion anymore, then the next best thing would be to put the baby for adoption. I truly think that, that would be the responsible thing to do. No need to feel bad about it, on the contrary, you would be doing a great thing. It is already hard for you to focus on you and your daughter. Imaging having to care for another human being. There are so many people out there that are ready to take that responsibility and would be happy to adopt a baby. Think of the world as a big community, we are all here for each other, if you are not able to do something at the moment, then someone else will be able to.

You are going to be fine, just decide and stick with it. Let me know. Write me a message if you need more help.

[Magic214 in reply to wantobefree]

I thought I responded sooner sorry. Thank you so much for your honesty! I really needed to hear this. I set an appointment and was approved for my health insurance, and I reached out to a women’s support clinic and they have been helping me figure out the best option. I do disagree with abortions and this is why I’m so troubled. But you’re right, depression is an illness and that is a risk to the baby. I know I would do my best to care for the new baby, but I already have a daughter who needs me. I will keep you all posted on what I decide and it will be soon!

[Bluetj]

I guess I shouldn't comment on this one because I'm totally against abortions. If God blessed u to conceive a baby, I believe He will help u raise the baby. 🤞🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[Magic214 in reply to Bluetj]

No, it’s fine. I agree with you actually. This is a big reason I’m battling with myself.

[Amayla]

I think if you get on the right medicine you will feel differently! I know what it’s like to feel your way and not really have much joy in life. I finally am on the right medicine a small dose once a day and it really changed my life!

[Hidden in reply to Amayla]

Going on meds at this time wouldn’t be ideal as she is expecting and would not want to risk harming the baby.

[Magic214 in reply to Hidden]

Yea this was my thoughts too.

[Magic214 in reply to Amayla]

Thank you Amayla! I’ve definitely tried to avoid meds because of the zombie effect but I may need a lower dosage of something lol. I’m glad to hear it helps you though!

[momofjust2boys]

You are a good mom and don't let anyone tell you differently. You have value, you have worth, and you will be a wonderful mom to this baby as well. You are strong and brave, and I admire you. Have you considered some sort of women's support group, through a community center or church? Those are free and you can meet other women who can be supportive and encouraging. And you do have us! You might also consider adoption, if you really feel you can't take care of the baby. Please post back and let us know how you are.

[Magic214 in reply to momofjust2boys]

Omg thank you so much for your words! I do have you all and you all have saved me so much! I found a church I’m wanting to visit this Sunday so I’ll reach out to them and explain some of my circumstances to see if they can help me. Thank you so much for the advice, didn’t even think of it. I was just approved for health insurance, so doctors and therapists here I come! Lol I didn’t give up guys and although it’s still hard, I’m trying.