Social Anxiety Situation!!!

I often ruminate about different social situations. I feel like I'm being judged or like I did something to make a person dislike me. Then it affects how I feel about myself. I feel bad and like I'm not good enough. I feel like I should've said this or that. Here is a current situation that I am ruminating about: So my brother's friend and her mom come walking up my driveway while I'm having a moment. I was upset about something... so I wave to the friend, but I needed space, so I walk away and go to my back yard. My mom was there to welcome them into our house and talk with them. But, now I feel really bad because it looks like I ignored them and was rude. I just disappeared and didn't bother to say hi to the mom. Now I feel like I did something bad and like the mom doesn't like me. I over think things like this a lot. It is hard for me to accept that a person may not like me. I feel like a bad person. Any advice on how to deal with these overwhelming thoughts? Thanks!

[Hidden]

Hi I have S.A. too. I understand how minor things cause us to judge ourselves so harshly. I try using logic and being more realistic. In regards to the situation explained, I would say that the mom I assure you was not as affected by this as you were she most likely shrugged it off. Small things don't tend to affect others as much as people with social anxiety.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ok thank you so much : ) Your words help a lot. I want to believe what you're saying but there's always that "what if" that is in the back of my mind

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It's the same for me you will just ignore it more and more with practice.

[Ragdoll15]

We cannot please everyone all the time the same way not everyone pleases us all the time. As long as you did something with the best intentions there is no reason to feel guilty and if people read something else into it this is their problem not yours. Trying to please everyone is a sure recipe for anxiety problems as I have learnt.

In the case of your friends mother I'm sure she never even thought it was rude of you, she might even have been concerned for you as you looked upset. Just try not to dwell on this because I'm sure she never thought bad of you at all. Take care!

[Hidden in reply to Ragdoll15]

Thank you! You make a very good point : )

[Marshall64]

Wow. I can totally relate to your thought process. It sounds like me. I have done exactly what you said and ended saying to someone later that I didn't mean to look like I was blowing them off or ignoring them. Every time the person responded by saying they didn't notice or that it wasn't a big deal.

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

Ahh our thought process is exhausting. Phew : ) Thanks so much!

[Sleeplessgirl]

I can’t necessarily help with how to cope as that’s what I’m trying to figure out as well, but I will say at least you acknowledged them by waving, I would have just ran away without even doing that. It’s difficult when your around your own house and people you don’t feel like seeing come along as this would usually be your safe space to avoid them but you still don’t want to be rude, I’ve rationalised that if it’s not you entertaining them you are definitely within your own right to just go up and chill in your room