Fear of forming friendships, social a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Fear of forming friendships, social anxiety

I do this in every workplace I'm in - I start getting along with someone, we have great time together (at work, never outside of it), then they eventually start calling me a friend and ask for more time together outside of work and BOOM. I panic, I see it as an inconvenience, I decline every single invitation to the cinema or anything else outside of work really. It's not that I don't like the person, we spend so much time together at work that it's only understandable that we get along. I just don't want to form serious friendships, because they demand attention which I cannot give. I enjoy being on my own, I recharge my batteries when alone (I am an introvert). This is when people get offended and hurt. I always try to explain that this is just the way I am, it's how my mind works. How do I set boundaries so people know I'm just not into hanging out with them? I know it sounds really bad, but I think it's just the fear of forming attachments and having to give someone your full attention. I used to have a few good friends when I was a teenager, I then emigrated and to this day only one person still keeps messaging me, I consider that person a true friend and I've known her since school. I think I just like the feeling of independence - I don't like people to follow me everywhere or automatically assume that I will agree to do something with them. How do I tell someone that they'll probably never get me to hang out with them, not because I don't like them but because I just like to have my space?

5 Replies
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Maybe just be honest with them in a gentle way! XXX

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Oh I tried, but people always say stuff like "I'll convince you someday" or "You have to at least try and have fun" so I feel like telling them anything is pointless :(

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Tell them you know yourself better than them & you really don't want to offend them but this is the way you are & you don't want to get into details....nothing against them! I wish you the best!!!

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Thank you and I wish you the same :)

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Good Luck!!! Hugs for you! XXX

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