Trying so hard to pull myself out of this

[Ingramk]

I am in what seems like a black bottomless pit if despair, depression, anxiety. My solution has been lately to overeat. For the last month. I have crammed more stuff into my mouth than I ever thought humanly possible. Its so ironic, because I am always dieting and wanting to improve my health and looks. This past Saturday, I made 2 dozen banana nut muffins to get rid of some ripe bananas. Now granted, all two dozen were not normal muffin size, some were alot smaller....but on Sunday, I realized that there were only about 1 dozen left. My daughter only ate 1! I am just thinking HOW could I have done that without even realizing it. I am also contributing to my dogs weight problem, because I feed her some of everything I eat. This is so unhealthy for her, I know that...as well as for me. I have gained over 10 lbs in just a few short weeks. I dont know if I am eating out of guilt, shame, or just plain unhappiness but I know it HAS TO STOP! I think, or I hope I have made that decision. I got my lazy ass up this morning at 4am and got on the treadmill...which I purchased May of last year to help keep me in shape...and it has only gotten 3 good months of use out of it due to a surgery I had in August...anyway. 4 am - 1 mile. hopefully better food choices and to STOP feeding my dog as well.Hopefully with better mindset, better eating will come better feelings and less depression and anxiety.

I know I am rambling....sorry for that.

[Hidden]

Comfort eating is one of the side affects of Depression, given that and the need to eat excessive I would advise that you talk to your GP and discuss your needs and expectations.

Make a list of your concerns for when you go on your appointment, that will help you remember and explain any problems you may have, including over eating

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi, I stay down in the dumps all the time because I cannot control my eating. I feel like I can out eat anyone! I am heavier than I have ever been and I stay so down about it, yet I eat all the time. It's a vicious cycle I can't seem to break. I know exactly how you feel.

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

It is a vicious cycle. I gain it, then I lose it, then I gain it all again. I go from one extreme to the other. I HAVE to learn how to have a middle ground. I do not want to never enjoy the things I want to eat, however I have to learn that eating 12 muffins in one sitting is not ok!! I bet you can't out eat me...lol. I am just saying. Maybe we can help support each other in this?

[Hidden in reply to Ingramk]

I need all the support I can get, Yes! I will surely support you! I'm at work now just thinking about what I will eat when I get home. CRAZY! I can't workout right now because of my knees. Both of them need replacements, I'm having one done in August. But even when I was exercising I still ate like a pig. I can never be happy with myself as long as I look like I do. I've been to therapy, and I take anti-depressant medication and nothing seems to work for me.

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

I have issues with my lower back, which I have used as an excuse to not exercise since I had my surgery in August. Once it stretches out it is ok though, so that has only been an excuse. No more. I have never been to therapy, although I feel like I need it! Not an option for me though, due to financial restraints. I am just going to have to make my mind up and do it. I am also at work, and starving!! LOL. I have done good all day, but in the last hour, it has hit me like a brick. I have dinner cooked from last night. There are some carbs in there, but I am going to have to find a balance, not one way or the other. I think that is going to be the key for me. I lose the weight, and feel great and am happy with the way I look, then I just sabotage it because I want to eat good food! SMDH! When in August are you having the surgery? Is it possible to acquire a recumbent bike? Those are supposed to be easy on the knees!

[Hidden in reply to Ingramk]

August 5, I’m having a total knee replacement. Right now I can’t even ride a bike, due to pain and swelling. I plan on getting one when I get past this surgery. I had 4 large slices of pizza for supper. My husband don’t help me either, It was his idea to go get pizza. I need to put my big foot down and say no to all this eating out and eating junk food when I’m at home. If you buy it you’re going to eat it, so when we don’t buy it we go get it. This is INSANE!!!

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

I had my hernia surgery last year on Aug. 5th. lol. That was when I stopped exercising for the most part. However, for the last TWO mornings...yes, TWO I have managed to get on that treadmill and get a mile in before work. I moved my spare tv into that room when I realized I can download an app on my roku player and watch tv without having to rent another cable receiver box. This may be the gamechanger for me. Keeps me busy watching the tv instead of watching the clock. I know whats it is like to not have the support of someone in this. I was there not long ago. Single now, so the only person I have to put my foot down to is myself. Sometimes that is the hardest! I did fairly well last night. I had cooked a chuck roast and baby potatoes in the crockpot the day before. I cooked some lima beans and carrots to go with it and only ate a moderate amount. I SO wanted seconds, but I managed to be good. Pizza has been my downfall in the last month for sure. At least once a week. I don't plan on never having anything like that, I just have to learn to not eat 3 pieces and 4 breadsticks at a time. Everything in moderation. They say....you should eat well 80% of the time. I think if I can do that, and not binge the other 20% I will be on the right path. Baby steps....

[Hidden in reply to Ingramk]

Yeah for you!!! I am so glad you did good yesterday. When I manage not to overeat, the next day I'm on cloud nine. But then the next day I blow it again. I know I'm having some anxiety about the surgery coming up and I think that's the reason I can't stop eating. I feel down all the time, but I have to put on a smiling face when I'm at work, that's hard to do when inside I am miserable. Hopefully I can get myself together and start taking better care of myself.

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

Well I am pulling for you. Good thoughts, prayers, and juju sent your way for a successful surgery! Once that is done, then hopefully you can refocus and lose that anxiety that is driving you to eat. I am an emotional eater as well. Well, maybe not...I just like Food!!

[Hidden in reply to Ingramk]

Yep I love food! I'm praying for you to do well in all you do. I know this surgery is going to set me back a while but I will make it through it. I have had nothing to eat today, zero! Yes, I am hungry. I've been thinking about getting something to curb my appetite, heaven knows I need it.

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

You need to eat!!! That is setting yourself up for disaster! Appetite suppressants don't really work for me. Not sure why...maybe because I did alot harder stimulants back in the day.

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

So far today, I have eaten a banana, a peach, a pear, 1 oatmeal banana blueberry muffin, 20 mini pretzels a few grape tomatoes and a bologna sandwhich. working on my 4th bottle of water, and I am STILL hungry! lol

[Hidden in reply to Ingramk]

Wow! You’re doing great at eating healthy. I need to get myself motivated and stop pigging out every day. If I don’t so something soon I won’t fit into my clothes!

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

I am there. I can not wear stuff that I wore just a few weeks ago. I gain weight extremely fast, and it does not help when I am constantly binge eating for sure. I am back up to the same weight I was at the beginning of May when I restarted my healthy lifestyle yet again. Actually a few lbs heavier, but that just goes to show you what I mean when I say that I am constantly back and forth losing and then gainging right back. It is just never ending for me. My thing is I need to learn how to stay in the right mindset to stop the yo-yo'ing. So, did you ever eat yesterday, before dinner time I mean? I personally cant go all day without eating. I am starving now, and its only 930 am. Time to eat an oatmeal muffin.!!

[Hidden in reply to Ingramk]

I ate about 3 when I got off work. My weight goes up and down too, but mostly up and up. I've really had a hard time the last several weeks eating a normal amount, I can eat huge amounts of food and not even be hungry! That is not normal, I am not normal. We go to all you can eat restaurants a lot and believe me,they don't make a penny off me. That's one thing I need to stop, because if the food is there I'm going to eat it. I probably need to try therapy again to find out why I am doing this to myself. When I went before nothing helped me. I pray about it all the time and God won't even help me! What ever!

[Ingramk in reply to Hidden]

Same...I am right there with you!!!