So hard trying to explain

[MissDS]

I was tired of suffering in silence and isolating so I took a chance and shared with my sister and my best friend that I've been in the grips of a major depressive episode for the past few weeks. One said I have a job, house and car, what could I possibly be sad about?? The other one asked me what was I thinking about that was making me sad? Unless a person has experienced depression and anxiety they will NEVER understand what we feel, what we go through & how we would give anything not to feel this way, ever

[hunter4ransom]

You’ve come to the right place. We all understand and get it. You can be a millionaire with every material need met and still suffer uncontrollable depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety don’t discriminate. They are both excruciating painful to endure and unless one has had personal experience with it, they will never truly understand. The good news is there is help and hope. This group is a great start. We support and lift each other up on our darkest days. Please know you are never alone and the darkness will pass and you feel good again. Hang in there.

[MissDS in reply to hunter4ransom]

Yes, every time a rich and famous person commits suicide I hear people remark about how they had everything, what was there to be sad about?? But it doesnt work that way and it is almost impossible to explain to where a person actually understands it. I am so glad I found this forum!

[fauxartist]

I'm glad your sharing here...as most of us have anxiety and depression, and lots of other stuff too. People who don't have this disease are less likely to understand that it's not about just 'getting over it', or 'what do you have to be sad about'....or' just straighten up your back, your problems are not as bad as some in the world'...blah blah blah...we have all heard it too. It's a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain...it's not a matter of not having enough will power to over come it...we can't will our heart disease to get better, so we go to the doctor and get medications, do therapy....etc.

Do you go to therapy or take meds.? There are alternative methods to help maintain a coping strategy...but therapy for sure when you get a good fit is very helpful.

[MissDS in reply to fauxartist]

"we can't will our heart disease to get better, so we go to the doctor and get medications" This is one of the best examples that I have seen to try to explain to someone about depression and anxiety and how we do not want to feel this way but it is something that we cannot just make go away.

I've taken medication before and it did not help but therapy did. I was diagnosed with depression and had a major episode about 10 years ago. After that, I got better and have had brief, sporadic episodes of depression over the past 10 years but I was able to get better rather quickly. A few weeks ago i started having another major episode where I couldn't eat, only wanted to sleep, couldn't get out of bed and felt suicidal. It's slowly getting better but it's extremely scary so I am looking for a doctor so that I can start therapy again.

[fauxartist in reply to MissDS]

that is very interesting how this depression you have is so spaced apart.....usually the cycle of highs and lows goes through out the months and weeks. Some like myself go through a low once a month...and only occasionally get triggered into a bad low. But yours seems to have a very long time span between the down cycle of it. What does your therapist say about that....and I don't see the need for taking meds every day for temporary depression....but yours does seem recurring...it just has a very long gap between the highs and lows.

[MissDS in reply to fauxartist]

I too will go through a low about once a month or once every other month but it's usually brief and not so bad that I cannot recover. I believe the bad low that I just went through was triggered by loneliness but I'm not sure if loneliness triggered it or the depression was triggered by something else and made the loneliness worse.

[fauxartist in reply to MissDS]

We are a product of nature and nurture.....I know I was born with this disease of depression, and I don't have to have a reason to feel sad, I feel that way from the chemical deficiency...no particular reason.

I also though, have had abuse as a child and young adult that has shaped me, it does not however define me....I have to do work on these things as well as manage my depression.

[MissDS in reply to fauxartist]

Right, I keep trying to remind myself that depression is a chronic condition that I am afflicted with, but it does not define me!

[fauxartist in reply to MissDS]

yeah...it's hard to rationalize that it's our disease that has us feeling like crap....today is one of those days for me....and I am blue....and I do have reason to feel that way...but it's made worse because I also have depression. The saving grace is I know this will pass....my problem solving brain will eventually kick in to survival mode again....and I'll get on top of this....but sometimes we do just need to recharge our batteries. This is one of those days for me.

[MissDS in reply to fauxartist]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a blue day today, that was me earlier in the week But you are absolutely right, you will come out of this and hopefully soon!

[fauxartist in reply to MissDS]

thanks.....

[Lyn842]

Its so true that unless you've walked thru it, you can't fully understand. That's why groups like this exist. We need each other. I know we reach out to others cause we need help and want them to understand. That's ok but sometimes we get burned by those we love. You took the risk. That's strong of you. Sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped. Its ok tho. We are here for you. We care.

[MissDS in reply to Lyn842]

Thanks, that means so much! I go through the posts on the groups and i can relate so much to what everyone is feeling and going through. Depression isolates and it makes you feel so alone, like no one else in the world knows how you feel and if you tell anyone, you will be judged, which leads to suffering in silence. Thanks to groups like these, I no longer have to suffer in silence.

[Avidreader9559]

I agree with the PPs. I am so glad you found this group. Suffering in silence and loneliness were the worst parts IMO. It helped me so much to be able to talk about what was going on and to make those connections with other people who understand. I am so glad you are receiving that support. Hugs to you. Keep pushing forward. It is worth it.