This has really gotten out of hand and I am ready to get off this roller coaster

[Bluetj]

This is really crazy going thru this anxiety and depression. I feel like I no longer have a life because this has literally taken over my life seems like. Everyday is a struggle to make it thru. I can't seem to get my body to relax so all day every day my body hurts. I have been eating constantly and seems like I can't stop. I had lost thirty pounds and I know I have gain at least half of it back. I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare.

[Hidden]

You are not alone. I suffer from anxiety and depression. Are you taking any meds for either? I’m on meds but I feel that things have gotten worse instead of better this year. This has been so crippling. Have you tried taking magnesium? When I’m in pain I spray the magnesium oil over the areas that are hurting and it helps to relax those areas. I’ve also just started CBD oil and acupuncture to help with depression, anxiety and insomnia. Too early to tell if they are all helping yet.

[Bluetj in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I'm on meds for the anxiety & depression. I guess I just want to be 'normal' wateva that is. When I was happy & felt like I had a life. Now more than half the time I'm faking it tryn to make it & that has gotten so old. I will try the magnesium oil in hopes that it works. I'm just tired of tryn all these different things & it seems like nothing is working. 😔😔😔

[Bela64]

Omg I’m having the some rollercoaster as you everyday is just horrible sometimes I think this never going to end .. I have tried many medication like Prozac,Paxil,venlafaxine,sertraline,amitriptyline,just a few to mention and nothing 😔I’m now started a new one called Duloxetine is now being 3 weeks taking it ..just hope that this one will helps becouse this is the most horrible feeling in the world..I don’t even recognise myself anymore..I hope you find peace and something to help you deal with this nasty disease 🙏🏼Wish you well soon ...hugs on the way to you ..... Bella

[Bluetj in reply to Bela64]

Thx, I pray u find peace for urself. I understand not recognizing urself. I have asked myself who am I several times & still waiting on an answer. I look @ other people & wish I was them, but then again so many people are dealing with something that I figured I better stay within myself cause someone may be having a harder time than me. This just really sucks, never thought I would be battling something so ugly. 😟😟

[Arniestal in reply to Bela64]

I know what you mean. I've had sertraline, citlopram, prozac now got venlafaxine. Haven't started on venlafaxine yet as the prozac stays in your body for a while. How long did you leave the prozac before starting new one? Dr said 3 or 4 days but I read it can take longer for the prozac to go. I'm giving myself 6 months if I am no different then I am going to make some big life changes. Can't carry on like this.

[LovePurple2]

I suffer from health/anxiety & dealing with an right eye problem & been to 3 eye doctors & they all agree with the same diagnose with my right blurry eye. There are no medicines, surgeries or cures for my problem & I'm afraid of this happening to my good left eye I can see out of. My anxiety has been horrible with worry & I feel like I am stuck between a rock & hard place & can't get out. I've always had good eyesight & now my right eye is blurry & my left eye helps compensates for me to see. I have what is called "Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuropathy." I'm trying to accept what happen & seeing a psychiatrist for meds for my anxiety & therapist for talking & dealing with this. I pray a lot to God as well. Prayers to all of you as well!❤️🙏🙌🙏

[Luna49]

Same here. I cant stand this. I am hoping for a miracle. I need one. I will be 50 this month. Woohoo. I keep thinking i dont want to die but hate living this way. My thoughts are disturbing and weird. If I could stop thinking the meds all make me worse maybe something will help. My physical health is good. But been stuck like this for almost a year now after trying to go back on lexapro...didnt go well. Since I have been on celexa, pristiq, zoloft and now zyprexa and prozac. I have been hospitalized 4 times and feel a 5th coming on. You are certainly not alone but I dont get much comfort knowing I am not alone ...i just want me back. Hanging on by a thread.

[Bluetj in reply to Luna49]

OMG,I so can relate. Don't want to die but don't enjoy this nightmare that I live in. Both of my sons are going thru different issues & I don't feel like I'm much support to either of them. I have been in outpatient treatment twice, just got out a month ago, feel like I need to live there. I keep telling my therapist I just want my life back... to be happy (wateva that is). By the way Happy Birthday, welcome to the 50's club!!! 🎂🎈🎁

[Luna49]

Thanks Bluetj. One club I wasn't ready to join buy who is.

[Luna49]

But! Hate my thumbs lol.

[majolie]

Bluetj: I was once where you are. It got to where I hated myself, and I was so sick of living a fake life. I felt dead inside. This may not be you, but for me, it was because I had been trying to pretend that THE HORRIBLE THING didn't really happen (I was raped by my father). I had pushed it so far down that I could almost believe that it didn't happen, but it always came bubbling up in the form of rage, despair, depression, and hopelessness. Is there by any chance something traumatic in your past that needs to be faced head-on and healed?

I tried to drown it with drugs and alcohol. Then I joined a psychotherapy cult (don't recommend it). No matter where I ran, I couldn't run from myself! I was going downhill and didn't know where to turn.

My story is one of faith. It was when I studied about Jesus and when I was able to ask kind, gracious Christians every question I could think of about Christianity, the Bible, Jesus, God, etc. that I felt like truth was dawning and I was slowly being awakened to hope. I wanted what Jesus had to offer: forgiveness, cleansing, healing, restoration, renewal, hope, and a peace that defies understanding.

So I surrendered to Him (that was 37 years ago) and He has delivered all that He promised. I have been set free from the rage and depression that consumed my life. Life isn't perfect, but I'm no longer a victim, controlled by my roller-coaster emotions. My past doesn't define me and my life is characterized by peace, deep joy (which is way different than happiness, which depends on circumstances), and trust in the One who knows me best and loves me beyond anything I can imagine.

I suggest this as the ultimate way to be set free and healed. He can do the same for you. I am often perplexed that people don't want so much wonderfulness and they refuse Him. If you are tempted to refuse Him, just make sure that you KNOW what you are refusing. I used to claim to be an agnostic and to not like Christians, but I hadn't even read the Bible and knew little about Jesus. Do your research! This may include going to a bible-believing church and talking to a pastor about what it means to follow Christ.

And by chance, if you have been hurt by a Christian or a church, don't let that stand in your way. People and even churches mess up and sometimes do great damage. But that's not where you should be looking. Look to Christ, the perfect one.

Other things besides trauma that can cause anxiety and depression (which has become all too common these days) are:

1. Social media--this is a huge one for causing A & D. If you're spending a lot of time on it, take a one-week or one-month break. You might find that it's as hard as breaking an addiction! Actually, social media can be an addiction! I'd include in this: watching too much news. We weren't meant to intake a constant stream of worldwide bad news. Turn it off and read something uplifting or funny.

2. Lack of "community"--do you have family and friends? If not, why not? Anyone can find a friend by being a friend. If this is you, get yourself outside in nature, join a club or gym or hobby class or church or support group or sports team or....something, anything!

3. Poor nutrition--I'm a nurse, and I'd say that 100% of my patients who ate poorly had all kinds of physical and emotional problems. If you eat a lot of junk food, sugar, animal foods, soda; if you don't eat much in the way of plant foods and whole foods, your A&D could be improved by improving your nutrition.

4. Little exercise--if you're like me (I hate exercise), this is really a challenge. But every time I get off my butt and do something, I feel better. Start small, like with a 10-minute walk. No matter what you do, if you do something, you'll be on the upward path!

5. Too much self-focus---one of the very BEST ways to combat A&D is to serve others! It's like a miracle...it gets your mind off yourself and your troubles, and you come away feeling more blessed than the one you served. The possibilities are endless: animal shelters, old folks homes, homeless shelters, hospitals/hospices, museums, etc. What's your passion? What do you love doing? Pursue volunteering in that area.

Keep in mind that the holidays are known for being a time of increased depression and stress for lots of people. Do whatever you can to be around others, to play uplifting music, to breathe and laugh and live in the beautiful moment of life that you've been given. I'm praying that you feel encouraged after reading this and that you find hope and healing.