Extremely Scared About Starting college

[snowflake103]

Hi, I'm new here. I'm starting college very soon and I can't describe how scared I am. I have been crying non stop for the past two days, I don't feel like eating. I am scared about leaving my parents and I miss my school. I'm scared that I won't make any new friends. It's an all girls college and I'm scared that after three years I'll be even more nervous about interacting with boys than I am now. I hate change. I hate this transition. When I was in school I didn't even like it when my classes were shuffled. Now I have to go to a different city to a great college but I don't even want to. College is an important goal of mine, I'm just horribly scared about it. Please give me tips and tell me it get's better.

[Hwhme]

Oh snowflake 103. I am sure it will get better and you will be laughing at yourself for being so scared soon. Advice or tips are a different thing. Be yourself and remember that everyone else in your year will be new too. Others will be nervous as well. Remember what you enjoy and find likeminded students to continue those activities with. This gives you an opportunity to talk about things in general to break the ice and friends will make the whole experience a positive on. I am sure that your fears will melt away just like the snowflake does when the sun comes out. Take care.

[EleanorRose]

Transitions can be tough. It can be hard to go from somewhere we feel safe into the unknown. It will get better though. As others have said, most people will be nervous to some extent - you won’t be the only one.

The great thing about going to college and making new friends is that everyone is in the same position and everyone WANTS to make friends. It’s not like walking into a room of people who all know each other and trying to join an established group.

My advice would be to take part in lots of activities/events/clubs to begin with. I wish I’d pushed myself out of my comfort zone sooner and done that more. You may hate some of it and you don’t have to keep up with it all but it’s a great way to meet new people and it’s less ‘awkward’ because there’s automatically things to talk about.

You will still keep in touch with family and friends from home. My friends from school and I used to write to each other - it was really nice to have something physical and made a great display on my wall. You can visit people whenever you want and the time will pass much quicker than you think.

I would also say stick at it, even when it gets tough. Like you, I was also nervous when I first started college (university, I’m in the UK!)

I cried when my parents dropped me off and begged them to take me home. I was worried about so many things, but in hindsight, I’m so glad they didn’t. I think I cried on every visit home until Christmas. Not because I hated it, but it took me some time to adjust. I was fine after that.

I didn’t overly get on with the people I lived with in the first year, nothing bad, they just weren’t like me at all and they were all quite similar to each other.

There were lots of things in the first year that could have made me ‘give up’ - it took a while too adjust, but I did enjoy it - I made some great friends, really liked the people on my course and adapted to, and enjoyed the freedom of, being away from home.

In my second year, I moved in with some friends I’d made and we lived together until graduation, they were some of the best years of my life and I’d have never experienced it if I’d given up in the first few semesters. I’m still friends with many of those people now. Soon I will be Maid of Honour to one of my housemates whilst our other housemates are her bridesmaids. They are my lifelong friends even though it took a few months to meet them. So stick with it, it will be ok.

[Hidden]

I did not transition well to college so I can relate to your post now that I am older. I was anorexic. Notice that is past tense. I did get through it. If I were to do it again, I would have sought professional help. Also, it is a good idea to join organizations/ clubs that you are interested in. Please try not to be too hard on yourself. The unknown can be scary. Another thing that might help is to consider smaller time frames of college. Wanting perfect friends, ideal roommates , and multiple job offers might be a bit unrealistic. Good luck to you!

[Cunchy]

Hi Snowflake. I Went away to college myself many years ago and that was my first time being away from my mom and family but it was the best decision and if i could do it again i would. I met so many people from all over the world. You will adjust to new people. Even of you went to school in your state it will be the same. Its a scary moment for all but u will be ok. You can still write your family and friends and call. Go home for holidays. Take it one day at a time. It will be a great experience

[ciel1012]

Hi,I was nervous about college to,but I didn't have to leave home like you're about to. My suggestion is to try talking to the other freshmen when you get there...a lot of them will probably be nervous just like you too. Try to be part of a club when you get there,be yourself,do not and I say do not change for anybody,because you will see people do crazy stuff to fit in,act wild because they are away fron home(they usually end up dropping out also,because they wasted so much time on nonsense). Call your friends and family back home when you feel scared and lonely,and keep your goal in mind if you feel like you are getting distracted sometimes. You can do it,everything will be find,it's normal to be nervous,but it will past. 🙂