Scared of being independent - Anxiety and Depre...

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Scared of being independent

Sometimes my loneliness is because since I was 12 I've noticed things my siblings didn't. Since then all I feel from my parents regret. Like they blame me for something that happened and they hate me. Since then almost all the time I want their attention I had to misbehave. Sometimes all I get from them is how disappointed they are of me. One because I never returned to school (tried college) Two because I would always answer back to them. And before gettinga job that was also a problem. And last but not least that I don't drive at my age. I wish I could drive but I'm just so scared. That's why I only have a few friends because everyone else just got tired of me for being a loser with no license and no boyfriend. See my parents are overprotective and that has been a problem for me. They have made me insecure and scared of life. I remember when I got my most recent job I was so afraid even though I had worked before that job seemed like a giant leap. I remember that for the first month I had anxiety everytime I had to go to work. I was scared something bad was going to happen to me on my way to work. At least I was able to get over that fear. But I need to be independent and I don't know how to start with that one.

7 Replies

Hi, I just want to let you know that you aren't alone because I can relate. I don't have my license either and don't work because I go to uni full time. I constantly want to please my parents, but what I've learned is that I can't be the best version of myself if I'm not happy on my own. My parents are very protective of me too, mainly my dad, and I've had a difficult time proving that I can be fine on my own. I can't be independent for now because of medical bills and loans. It's just not possible financially. But, what helps is having an escape, such as going out. You have your job, and I have school. Also, if there is some one worth having as a friend, they would never see you as a burden.

It's daunting at first, but we have to go on a journey to get out of the habit and headspace we may have gotten in under our parents' influence. We can do it!

in reply to HkTaSc7

I know there's one friend that has always been there and I thought having a job would help me be more independent but no way I still need to ask my parents if I can go somewhere and it gets trying after a while. Like a few days ago I wanted to spend time with my best friend and my mother said that if I went out I would regret it. I hate being treated like a child I'm 27 not 5

ellinaki profile image
ellinaki in reply to

Yiu need to find a place of your that possible?

HkTaSc7 profile image
HkTaSc7 in reply to

Perhaps not asking and just politely letting them know you're going out is a step forward? You have to remember you still do have control over some aspects in your life and are building other relationships. If they want the best for you, they should know that part of growing up is being social too.

in reply to HkTaSc7

I thought that's the way to them even they think being social is not a thing and that friendship doesn't exist

HkTaSc7 profile image
HkTaSc7 in reply to

Do what makes you happy and stand up for your beliefs. What will you be left with once they are gone? Please don't live with regret that will lead to resenting them. They do love you, but they just offer a conflicting perspective to yours on life. Do what you can to make the best for yourself, even if small arguments may erupt. A parent's love is unconditional.

Please find better friends cause the ones you have are not that, school is not for everyone but try and find a passion something you like and go from there

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