First post

[Stephenm111]

So I honestly don't know what I'm looking for, but I felt compelled to post. I've been dealing with suicidal depression for almost 20 years, and no one can understand why. I have a beautiful wife, two great kids, recently purchased a new house, and I still feel empty. I feel alone. I feel the more I try to love the less that it's reciprocated. I feel needy, and I hate that, and it makes me hate myself, and that just compounds the problem. There's not a solution for this, just needed to vent. Thanks.

[AmarelisM]

Yesterday I experienced my first real suicidal thoughts. It was very scary, I can only imagine what it's been like for you.

[kenster1]

hi Stephen sorry to read of your suffering.your not alone on here in your thoughts so hopefully we can play a part in supporting you.do you talk with your family of your feelings its best that you talk it over with your doctor as well.take care.

[kelscap]

I understand how it feels to want to die even when life is going well. I’m so sorry you’re feeling that. It’s one of the very unfair and horrible things we experience when we have depression. It’s scary and hard but it does not mean you aren’t doing everything you can. It doesn’t mean you aren’t loved or your life isn’t good enough.. all it means is that your brain is missing chemicals that other brains have and it makes it harder for you to feel the same happiness as others. I hope you start to feel better. And I hope it helps knowing you aren’t alone. We’re here. We will listen. And we will do our best to understand.