First Post

[BG298]

I am a high school student. I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Panic attacks after last year I saw my father and a few other relatives get shot in my yard. Everyday is a living struggle because I try to face the world with a fake smile and I don't like talking about it to my friends because I don't want them to turn it into something they gossip about. Sometimes I feel like I should isolate myself and I do so for days. I isolate myself from my friends and family, and cry myself to sleep at night. I am new to this website and I just want to be surrounded by people who can identify with my feelings so I don't feel like an outcast in my own skin. I like to uplift others but struggle doing so for myself.

[Hidden]

That awful what you have been through.. it must have been a nightmare.

It is good that you joined us here though, you can chat to loads of good people about anything and everything, just say what you want to say

A out isolating yourself, can't you even spend more time with family even just watching a movie or something, might be better than being on your own.

Anyway, you can come onto here for a chat anytime.

Take care BG298

[Stilltrying_]

Also there is a heal my PTSD forum on healthunlocked which you may find useful. What a horrifying sight for you to witness and it is no wonder that you are suffering as you are. I'm so sorry to hear what happened.

[veeeeeeee]

I’m so sorry that you had to deal with such a traumatic event. I feel so stupid dealing with anxiety and depression knowing that people have dealt with much worse than I have. My name is Vonae, I’m 17 and I’m homeschooled. If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here for you.

[Hidden]

Do you still live at same place it happened?, being honest I be the same regarding talking to people if I felt they gossiped a lot,can't you confide in Church to some sort of preacher or priest where they can be trusted?

[anxiousgirl7]

I’m here if you want to talk ❤️

[Hidden]

I am so very sorry you had to go through this. I have non-combat PTSD and I can totally understand crying yourself to sleep and not wanting to be around others. It is often hard to cope on a day to day basis, but please hang in there. It is obvious from your post that you are VERY intelligent and well written for a high school student. It also shows that you are a kind and caring person, which is one of the most wonderful qualities a person can have. I also understand you not wanting to talk about this with your friends. Often times in high school some people are not mature enough to treat situations like this appropriately. Is there a school counselor you can speak with? If not, continue posting here for support. I am new here, actually day one, and I am already receiving an outpouring of kindness. Best wishes to you and don't give up!!

[BG298 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ve spoken to my counselor but she is always busy so I just stopped going after two sessions. But this is where I came for support and I feel the support from people like you! So thank you and you will appreciate everyone here because they understand!

[Hidden in reply to BG298]

No thank you needed! I think there alot of people here we can all relate to. Just keep moving forward and don't be afraid to ask for help.

[Rpan]

Thank you for coming, and m glad you are sharing here. The ending of someone’s life is tragic, though I never experienced a loss in such a way. I’m a health care professional often dealing with the sickest people. I’m not sure how this relates but I feel compelled to write. I’m very sorry you have this experience, I’m wondering though why you feel the need to isolate from people, either way thanks for coming here

[shadow68 in reply to Rpan]

i just have this over powering feeling like i can't relate to people like i used to. and i've observed myself going outta my way to avoid conversations with people. and thats where i start missing drinking. cause i'm a social nut when i've had a few. Or maybe it's that i don't want anyone to see the same person that i'm ashamed of seeing stare back at me through the mirror? or maybe i'm looking for an excuse?

[shadow68]

I know what ur going through. i really do because what went through i had (almost) the same thing happen to me when the only dad i ever knew got killed in a car wreck in front of me when i was 10-11 out in the middle of nowhere in the mountains of Tennessee and that was between 40-41 yrs ago and back then i didn't have computers in my home town. didn't even know what 1 looked like if i leaned up against 1. Well my young friend to make a long story short, thats when i really started drinking, and fighting, and going to jail, until it had gotten so bad at home i started blaming myself (along with my mom driving me crazy) until it got to a point i was driving down the road looking for something to drive into and end myself) that was a lil over a year ago before i ask for help. dude let me tell you. your doing the right thing by trying to reach out because that what i have to do every day to keep me on track. and knowing people like you exist helps like me to cope with that site. and believe you me, unless someone has been through what we've been through, they can't relate and they can't know how u freaking fell. and i can attest to that by god and i know what its like to have ur friends constantly making u feel worst and then not knowing or having anyone to relate. you know there are others out there (unfortunately) that's your age and hopefully u guys can get together and get back to some kinda normalcy in you future. if not homie i'm going to be around until i fall bump my head and i can't function anymore. happy trails homie.

[BG298 in reply to shadow68]

I just want to say I am sorry for what you’ve gone through. But I thank you for your kind words and telling me your story because I don’t feel alone when I hear it. We have to stick together so I feel you in every single way and this has given me a chance to connect with people who understand what I go through. So thank you and I send lots of love your way!

[shadow68 in reply to BG298]

same to you homie. have a good evening.