First post

[BrokenCandy]

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I am here to help myself heal with some support and offer my support to anyone who needs it. My family is not supportive so I feel like a joke. I have anxiety and depression. I am having a hard time controlling my anxiety and thoughts. I feel like the lack of support in my closest family is just reinforcing my bad thoughts. I’ve tried talking calmly, I had a panic attack, I’ve been upset. It feels like nothing gets thru. It doesn’t help that my husband just avoids and focuses on everything but a problem (his words). It makes me want to leave. I feel so uncomfortable in my own home. Anyone else ever feel like this? Any suggestions on how to cope day to day? I am starting therapy in a week and I have The Anxiety and Phobia workbook by Edmund J Bourne PhD that I have just started. I am very Thankful for this online community.

[jkl5500]

It's good that you're starting therapy soon. You might think about taking your husband along at some point so the therapist can explain to him what's going on.

[BrokenCandy in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you

[jkl5500 in reply to BrokenCandy]

Also, when the therapist explains it to your husband, he will take your illness much more seriously. So many people who have never gone through this tend to downplay it, and say that you're just moody, too sensitive, etc. I'm sorry that you're getting no support at home.

[BrokenCandy in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you so much for your input. It means a lot

[jkl5500 in reply to BrokenCandy]

You're welcome. Let us know how you're doing when the therapy begins.

[BrokenCandy in reply to jkl5500]

I will. I hope you are ok and have the support you need

[Fabiangall]

Remember things will get better okay

[BrokenCandy in reply to Fabiangall]

Thank you!

[Agora1]

Welcome BrokenCandy to the support forum. Good luck in starting therapy. Just to let you know that Anxiety & Phobia workbook by Edmund J Bourne is an excellent one. You're moving forward. xx

[Hidden]

I felt the same way in my family. When I was agoraphobic I would sleep all day and stay up all night to avoid talking with my family. I can relate with you on that. I came to realize that mental illness especially when it comes to family is hard for them to accept. We are placed in a unique position. We must bare the wrongs done to us patiently with love and kindness towards those who don’t understand what we are going through. It’s not easy to love those when they hurt us. These trials purify our love for others. We no longer love them when it is convenient. We learn to choose to love them even when they are unloveable.

[Hidden]

When I feel that way, I’m isolating. My husband doesn’t really “get” it because he doesn’t have it! I feel like I am responsible for my bipolar condition and they don’t necessarily have to get it for me to recover from a debilitating depression. I feel like that’s my job! When I’m feeling better, I have a calm and friendly conversation about it and that seems to work better for me. It’s hard work maintaining that elusive balance when you have a mental illness, I know. Work on yourself, try to be patient with him, and above all, love each other. It’s doable!! Sending you hugs!

[mickeyshell88]

Try not to look at it as your family not being supportive. As with most, they just simply don’t understand and can not comprehend. You look fine so you must be fine. Unless someone’s been through it before, they don’t understand the thoughts, the despair, the solitude, the overwhelming fear. Even though you’re alone within your family at this moment, just remember you’re not alone at all! There’s many of us going through the same. As you struggle, they will learn...

[dee_bells]

Hi Brokencandy, I'm glad you joined this group! I have been here about one week and I feel better already. I am an isolationist, depressed and have anxiety attacks. I still have to work on me.

Everyone here understands what you're going through. It took my husband a long time to understand and he finally gets it. Not totally but he is working on it.

I always want to run away but I don't because my home is my comfort zone. I do push myself to meet a friend for lunch because I know I'll feel better once I'm out in the sunshine. I journal, color, crochet and watch funny shows. I did watch a YouTube video yesterday of Dads vs diapers and I laughed so hard I was crying.

I'm a person who thinks of bad things that happened to me in the past. But I don't want to go there so why look that way? I'm looking forward!

I'm glad you're here, working on you and lots of hugs!!!

[BrokenCandy]

Thank you all for the support. It definitely helps. I have had to handle my husband and sons social anxiety for years along with working full time and raising 2 kids. Neither will get help. My Mom passed last year after being with her thru the ups and down in the Hospital for 11 days. My dog was helping but he died a few months ago and I spiraled. We recently adopted a cat and she is helping. I am trying to accept things, have no expectations, have patience, and work on myself. It’s hard as many of you know. Thank you again!

[BrokenCandy]

Any suggestions on how to turn the anger and resentment back to love? It comes in waves. I feel like I really don’t like anyone around me except my cat and other times I feel extreme love for my family. I have to work so much I am having a hard time finding time to really work on myself. Hugs to everyone who needs and will accept one.