House move

[chasabay]

Hi everyone. Has moving house ever affected your anxiety or depression? I moved last week and my mood has dipped very low. I can’t motivate myself or eat and I’m constantly thinking I can’t cope. Everything is a massive worry for me and I want to sell my house already. It’s not home, doesn’t feel like home and I don’t really want to be there. It’s a horrible feeling I’m getting and I fear I’ve made a mistake I can’t get out of.

[Celtic27]

What you are having is quite normal they reckon that moving house is very stressful! It might be worth seeing your doctor and get something short term to help you get over this! My wife doesn't handle moving house very well it gets her depressed for days but she soon gets used to her new surroundings! I wish you all the best get well soon!

[Lulububs]

We feel safe in our own little bubbles... our own house, our same friends, our family.

My house is my safe place so when u move u lose that sense of stability and we question have we done the right thing as we miss our old house as we class that as home still.

Once u settle and start making this into a safe place and u decorate it mayb abit like old house and u have a few nights in lazing about on sofa watching films and feeling at ease u will soon feel at home.

It took me about 3 months to feel at home when i moved, i hated it, couldnt sleep, couldnt eat, constantly dreamt about old house but within 3 months i knew my surroundings and had house how i wanted it, had friends and family round for film night

And now this is my home.

We suffer with anxiety when we have changes in life.. some people live for it and enjoy it some people cant cope... it just takes time

[sjof]

Hi chasabay,

I can sympathize with your situation as I have moved three times in three years and will be moving again in August. It’s stressful enough to move, but with severe anxiety I find I can hardly do anything.

If you like the area you have moved to perhaps you can find the local Libray or community center and spend some time there. They often have activities posted and while I must admit I don’t do those things due to my social anxiety, I do volunteer at those places for the same reason. I think that becoming part of your community is a good way to feel like you have roots. Admittedly it took me six months to volunteer, but I did make it eventually. I struggle most when I have nothing to do which is a lot of the time.

Baby steps and one foot in front of the other. I am thinking of you and know you can find the strength to move forward, slowly.

[chasabay]

Thank you very much for your kind words everyone. The older I get and the more decisions I make, the more I learn about myself.

I split with a long term girlfriend of 8yrs back in 2013. I stayed in ‘our’ home for 2 yrs after we split. I coped remarkably well when I doubted myself. I was on 75mg if Venlafaxine and because of my happiness I decided to withdraw. I did this little by little over a year and finished my last pill in 2015. I sold that house to move on with my life and had found a lovely girlfriend.

The move was stressful as they always are but after 1 week, I fell in to deep depression. I was constantly crying and I couldn’t understand why. I was feeling much of the same as what’s already been mentioned. Anxious, regret, worry. This went on for 6 months so I went to the doctor and I was basically a guinea pig trying different pills. Peroxetine was one I was put on. Wow they were vile! An utter zombie on those. Had to come off them. If it wasn’t for my girlfriend, I have no idea what journey I would have taken. She was the most incredible human being.

I eventually went back on the Venlafaxine because I’ve found the SNRI pills seem to be not too bad.

I lived there for 4 yrs and made it home. Partially on my own where I was fine.

We were still together up to March of this year and my house had sold to move in together. Things happened and we split so I had to find somewhere on my own. I decided to move back to my home town where my parents live. By this time, me and the ex had re kindled our situation and started to see each other again. She’s bought her house and I’d bought mine but we moved further away from each other. 25 minutes. Not an issue for me but for her it kind of is.

Things were ok the day of the move. All loaded and ready to go. I remember being stood in my new kitchen and felt those waves of horrendous anxiety gush over me. It was then I feared the same was happening again as last time.

Again I fell into deep depression and the tears have been constant since the day I moved in. I get anxious about walking through the door. I fear I’ve lost any chance of being with my rock because of the distance and because I’ve gone on the help to buy scheme, I feel trapped because I’m not allowed to rent it out. I don’t want to be on my own because of the depressive way I feel. It’s a right mess. Chris.

[momonthego2019]

Hi there, I'm sorry you are feeling this well. I'm sure the pills help in taking the edge off of things but the root of the problem is not solved (ever). Have you considered counseling as well as medication together? That seems to have better results when dealing with anxiety and depression. There is a purpose and life out there for you Chris and it isn't dependent on you being with someone. Relationships are full of risk and unfortunately there is always a chance the relationship is not going to work out. The great thing is that you can appreciate what you have learned, the experiences you had, and the memories you made with that person and you can look forward to the next relationship whether it comes in a month, a year, or several years. While you are alone, that is the time you can learn more about yourself and develop yourself. If you put the pressure on someone else to be your rock, it may be too much for them to bear. Everything is not hopeless. You have made some decisions and now you are working through those choices and that is a part of learning and growing. Love is so unselfish so if you are with the right person, than distance would not be a relationship killer. Home is where your heart is. I moved into a house over 10 years ago with the thoughts I was moving into my starter home and to me, I never took the time to make the house feel like a home for my family (kids and hubby). Now since I am still in this house, I have realized that a home is not decor, furniture, accessories, but the memories you create in it. Start creating great memories in your new home. Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself.