More on my move - cat issue

[Kat63]

One thing I’m supposed to do is find a new home for my cat. This is distressing for me; I love my cat. But my boyfriend’s cat is almost 15 years old and has to be an only cat. I know I’ve been dragging my feet on getting this done, because I really don’t want to do it.

I’ve already asked 2 friends who said they can’t take him. Today, I need to ask my aunt.

If I don’t find him a new home, my bf will probably go along with me bringing him. But I did agree to try to rehome the cat. I want to show my bf that he can trust me to keep a promise.

[Burs]

If your bf is a cat lover then surely he understands how much yours means to you. If its a trust question there are other ways than giving up the cat. His cat may adapt, why not try that first xxxx love burs xxxxx

[Kat63 in reply to Burs]

He’s pretty attached to his cat, who is 15 years old and needs to be an only cat. I really want to demonstrate to my bf that he can trust me to do what I said I would do. Like I said, he would probably go along with me bringing the cat - but I don’t want him to just “go along” with it, and then resent me for not doing what I said I would do.

[hypercat54]

Hi I don't know why you have to put your bf's needs over yours? Why doesn't he part with his cat as it is much older and won't have many more years left? A healthy relationship doesn't depend on giving all the time and never taking.

I would keep your beloved cat and see what happens. Most animals will learn to accept another animal if they have to and they will work it out between them.

I have a 5 years old male cat, he is small but quite dominant still. My sister's friend died and she adopted his cat who is 9 and he is huge! About 3 times the size of mine. I live in the upstairs flat with her downstairs and I was really worried about my cat as hers is also dominant. Anyway the first time they met they actually rubbed noses and went off together. No problem.

Make sure your bf's cat has somewhere private to escape to if he needs too and make a couple of high places for your cat to go to be alone. Top of the wardrobe or a high shelf would be fine and look online for others tips. x

[Kat63]

So far I’m not getting any helpful responses here. I have to go along with my bf’s wishes because we had problems in the relationship and about 4 years ago, I moved out. We never really let go of each other, but the relationship was fractured. Now we’re going to try again - but this was my idea. He expressed doubts at first when I suggested it. But then he said he loved me and agreed that I would move back in and we would try again.

I’m presently looking for jobs where he is, and my move is set for next Thursday.

So you see, I’m scared and shaky on all parts of my life right now. I feel like I need to go along with what other people want.

[royal-tea in reply to Kat63]

You NEVER need to go along with what other people want - at the end of the day, there is only one person you’re responsible for, and that is yourself. Sometimes when things seem too hard, or when you feel like you’re trying to shove a square peg in a round hole, the universe is sending you a sign. Perhaps you should step back and really evaluate why you are making these decisions and if they are really what you want.

[Kat63 in reply to royal-tea]

Yes, this is really what I want. My bf and I have known each other 17 years and I can’t imagine my life without him in it. I’m the one who made the bigger mistake of moving out in the first place.

I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. We had something really good for years before we had problems. I’ve tried living on my own for the past 4 years and have discovered it sucks. So, you can’t say I haven’t given “on my own” a fair chance.

I just know that if I don’t try again with him, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I’ll never be OK again, unless I make the effort to make this work.

And if it doesn’t work out after all? That will hurt. It will be excruciating. But at least I will know I tried everything I could think of to heal my past mistakes and do my part to help this relationship work.

[kenster1]

hi I wouldn't be giving up my pet for anyone.we come as a package.your already giving up your home to move in with him is that not enough.this is you going for it second time what happens if it doesn't work out again.keep the cat its clearly upsetting you thinking about giving it away.if you did your already walking through a front door unhappy.

[Ragdoll15]

A pet is for life not an object that can be discarded when it sui

[Kat63 in reply to Ragdoll15]

I KNOW THAT!! This is why this is driving me crazy! People who come back at me with shaming comments like this are only making me feel worse! If you can’t help then be quiet.