Feel worse than ever...

[Photographyanimal]

I have really been going through a touch time this past week to week and a half...I needed to talk to someone so I decided to use a new site that has live chat...it was the worst thing I ever did...no part of me feels any better. In fact I feel so much worse to the point that I have been crying. I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy...

I copied the messages sent. Did I overreact...

Bob

hello

YOU

hello

YOU

so im not really sure how this works...

Bob

you can ask a ? or comment on any subject

Bob

I will help you the best I can and it is free.

YOU

I just kind of need someone to talk to I guess. my boyfriend and I just broke up on Monday, and its really hard for me to move on. I keep getting this feeling that im a burden on my family because I cant seem to move on from this whole thing.

Bob

sorry to hear

Bob

can you live with your parents now?

YOU

yea I just moved back yesterday.

Bob

Excellent.

Bob

it takes time to get over things like that.

YOU

it just really sucks because he told me that he wanted to marry me and to have kids...every time I think that I am starting to be okay, I break down crying. I hate when people see me cry.

Bob

we all are weak, made of flesh

YOU

before all this, I struggled with depression, and now it has gotten worse since this whole thing started. it all started because I found a message between him and his ex-wife...

Bob

so if he is married it is good for him to return to his wife.

YOU

when I confronted him about it, he got mad at me and made me feel like it was my fault...

YOU

no he isn't married. they are divorced

YOU

but the message made it seem like he missed her and that he wanted her back. he told me that he will always love her but he didn't and wouldn't ever want to go back to her. ever since then, he started treating me like crap. wouldn't talk to me and every time he looked at me he had this look or discuss and hatred in his eyes.

Bob

sorry to hear of the hatred he seems to have for you......

YOU

and rational person would see that and be happy to be out of that kind of relationship, but I can't help but love him...hes the only one who I actually wanted to have a family with. the only one that I wanted to spend forever with...

Bob

a divorce from a God-joined marriage does not end the marriage in God's eyes, only death ends a marriage

Bob

so for him and his wife to get back together is overall a good thing.

YOU

even though it destroys someone that they made love them?

Bob

many people have intimacy with many lovers. True love is God joined marriage commitment until death.

Bob

one man and one woman for life.

YOU

and what if you married the wrong person

YOU

what if you know deep down that the person you married was not the right person?

Bob

when you say "I do" you know it is the person you are marrying. God works on us to make us more loving and patient when we have a spouse that is hard to deal with.

Bob

I have been married 30 years

Bob

and there are ups and downs.

Bob

it is not a bed of roses.

YOU

I was married for four years and divorced my husband December of last year because he was manipulative. He was an emotional and mental abuser. So you are saying that I should have stayed with him even through all of that...

Bob

marriage is a school of learning many things about love, forgiveness, patience, endurance....

YOU

he broke me down so much that I began to think that I deserved every abusive thing he ever said to me. it was so bad that I began to wonder why I was even here. I started to not want to be here anymore. I almost ended me. But I pulled through and realized that I could not do that anymore. I pulled myself out of that kind of relationship.

YOU

I understand that marriage is about learning forgiveness, patience, and endurance in order to fully love someone. so should I have stayed with him and endured all the torment he put me through every single day?

Bob

sorry to hear of the pain you've gone thru

Bob

you can leave an abusive husband, you just need to be single until he dies, only death fulfills the marriage covenant.

Bob

or if your husband changes his ways you can eventually go back and be reconciled with him.

YOU

so because I married a man that ended up not being the one I was meant to be with, I now have to stay single. you are saying that I am not allowed to go look for the man that God put on this earth who will love me the way I deserve to be loved, all because I married the wrong man

Bob

no man can love you the way you need to be loved. Only Jesus Christ can do that for you, he died for sinners like you and me, that is the perfect husband.

YOU

I agree that only Jesus can fully love me the way I deserve. But I deserve someone who does not think I am pawn in their sick game. I deserve someone who will not tell that I am a shitty person and that no one will care about me. I deserve someone who will be there for me when I need them most.

YOU

I deserve to actually be loved. I am important. Im not some worthless pile of bones and I deserve better...

Bob

whether we find ourself in a happy marriage or not, we all deserve hell bc of our sins against holy God our creator. God is the one who deserves all honor, praise, glory and obedience to HIS rules. We cannot make up our own rules about what we think we deserve here on earth.

YOU

I want someone who isn't afraid to show me that I am important to them and that they actually want to be with me.

Bob

you don't have to have sexual intimacy with another man to have that.

YOU

you know, I came on here to try talk. I was hoping that by talking about what was going on with me in my life that I would feel better, but I don't. Everyone was wrong that talking makes it better. what's the point anyway. there is no point to any of this. im sorry that I ever bothered to come on here. it obviously was a huge mistake

Bob

all true Christian brothers and sisters love one another and want the best for each other.

[Gym19]

load of rubbish. People make their own choices. No one makes them for them. Don’t take any notice of him. He has no idea what he’s talking about. He doesn’t know you or your partner. People use God to push their beliefs on others. That isn’t support, that’s one mans delusional beliefs. Leave him to it. There’s plenty of people on here happy to just listen to you and not stick their 2 pence in.

[Gym19]

And of course you deserve to be happy. Everyone does. But that’s not up to God. Or Bob! It’s up to you. Making sure you take care of yourself. Listen to your body. Rest. Surrounded yourself with people who are good for you and good to you. Give yourself time. Figure out what you enjoy, what makes you happy x

[hypercat54]

What a load of old tosh! It sounds like it was a religious site. Try 7 Cups of Tea as they are much better and there are volunteer counsellors to chat to as well. x

[Dolphin14]

You handled yourself well. Don't listen to him.

[admirablesloth]

noooo way, don't listen to any of that garbage. I'm sorry that you even had that conversation, because I know how tough it can be to confide in another individual and to receive a response of apathy is disappointing to say the least and can make you feel hopeless.. but know that there are a lot of people out there feeling the way you do. I know sometimes all we need is someone to listen and to understand. Keep your head up! You deserve happiness but sometimes only time and patience can heal. This will give you time to find yourself all over again, it'll be tough but once you give yourself that attention and love, you'll eventually attract that energy and I mean in every different type of relationship not just romantic. Things can only go up from here, you got this