My love is no gonna change ever

[vanessi]

I haven't been posting for a long time. I would like to update my "recovery my life has been a nightmare since last December when John decided to break up with me. To finish our engagement and our plans. I haven't recovered since then. I have barely known about him but what I've found out is here so happy doing his life.

Last couple of weeks I've been feeling very down trying to get any answers of what happened but then I realise it is pointless to go back to something that will never return.

I haven't stopped loving him, no matter how many months have passed or the pain he has caused me. I try not to think about it but again I cried today morning, my mom just hugged me and said I need to forget him, I know she is right but i still love him and think about him every day. At this time we would be married, and being happy.

I have gotten many point of views, advice, comments but I can't find that peace.

I'm focus on my job and family and friends. Today I've started thinking that someone probably said something to him and that is why he left me, or maybe he thinks I cheated on him, which is not true but I remember he mentioning it. Anyway

I just want to say I'm trying to keep doing my life and I feel lost. I'm never gonna recover from this I am just trying to live without him and his love

[Hidden]

I never thought I could overcome agoraphobia and here I am able to go out. While your pain is real now don’t give up hope for the future. You will get through this.

[vanessi in reply to Hidden]

Well I have no hopes and dream I'm just trying to live the present but the pain is still here

[Hidden in reply to vanessi]

Nothing I can say will take your pain away. Everyone is here to listen and share your pain. That is all I can offer is to share your sadness and let you know it will get better.

[vanessi in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply. I hope to feel peace one day

[b1b1b1]

The relationship ended just 6 months ago. It may take considerably more time to forget about him and move on, but it will eventually happen.

[Unknown66 in reply to b1b1b1]

It true that what my Therapist told me that human can grive for 6 months to 1 year it normal. My advice to you is that love yourself more take good care of it. Get yourself busy doing the things you love and grt rid of everything that make you sad.

[vanessi in reply to Unknown66]

I love myself but my life was complete with him. I have never experienced such a love and joy and happiness.

I don't see myself sharing my life with anyone. And to be honest with you I don't care, the only thing I want is to be ok again and feel peace being alone! Just alone and that my dreams that I had with him come true and I'm selfish enough to not share this with anyone else

[vanessi in reply to Unknown66]

And I'm always busy but still think of him, can't help it!!!!

[vanessi in reply to b1b1b1]

I don't think that happen, I will always love you even if he is not with me never again

[vanessi]

I'm not obsessed! I just still love him and don't worry I already know he doesn't want me. I'm trying to keep doing my life without him. But all that doesn't change my feelings. And you are right maybe I will never move forward but that is up to me!!! I'm not gonna change my emotions for what people think or what people want

[fauxartist]

vanessi....your absolutely right honey, so I deleted my comment....it is up to you when and if you decide to move forward....and my only concern was for your happiness.....I would never want to hurt your feelings, and apologize if you thought I meant to. I hope some day your heart will heal, and it takes the time it takes, and no one knows that better than you...I'll keep my advice to myself regarding your posts from now on.....best wishes.

[vanessi in reply to fauxartist]

No worries! The only thing I want to let people know is I still love him so much but I'm doing my life and trying to feel ok with myself again. I'm trying my best to keep me busy and to be happy but my feelings don't change from one day to another. You had no idea the love I feel for him and there is not day I don't think about him. He was the love of my life and this kind of love just happens once in life, very hard to find another one. So I'm just looking for the peace in me

[Smellycat123456]

Hi vanessi how are you today, it's been 5 months since my last post and I decided to come out of my hole to breathe and see how life is moving. I see you still feeling sad because of him and I hope you can get past him for that special someone that is waiting for you to cross his path. It sucks that we have to move forward and try to forget the past when it was so wonderful but the future and the uncertainty will be 10 times better, 10 times more wonderful. Please don't end up like me, I know you've heard all this before a million times but it only takes that one time for you to hear this for you to realize not to waste your time thinking about him. Life is shorter than you think and if you don't move it will pass you by. You are smart and funny and I know you can light up a room with your beauty. I pray for all of us so we will live in a better world. I'll hold you out of the water so you can breath life's beauty.

Your friend, Jesus out of Dallas Tx.

[NCAQuilter in reply to Smellycat123456]

I just read your post. Your analogy.'I will hold you out of the water' is so beautiful, I have tears reading it. May I use it? My best friend is going through a very tough time right now. Thank you for such kindness you shared. This site has an incredible number of loving, sharing people!

[Smellycat123456 in reply to NCAQuilter]

Hi there, I just read your post and thank you for feeling my words it really means a lot to me because no one around here seems to care about what I say, it gives me hope that one day all my poem's and writings will be heard by people who care and feel the beautiful wonders of life in the now.

People who help others be there true selves.

I hope your friend feels better, use all the words in your heart to touch there life joyfully and let them know how much they are loved.

We all need to be loved all day every day.

[NCAQuilter in reply to Smellycat123456]

You write poems? How awesome!!! I'd LOVE to read some. And prose, too! Such talent doesn't come along that often. It seems authors feel very intensely. Perhaps this can be a vehicle that helps you move along. If I could, I'd try it. Perhaps a writers group could provide help to express your feelings. You don't have to share that it is your personal experience as the truth behind your writing if you don't want to. Your writing could serve as a journal to look back on to see progress! I have great images of success for you. Wishing you much hope.

[AMIGOMAN]

Hi Vanessi xx

Just read your post's...

I'm so sorry to hear about your relationship issues.

I'm more sorry to learn about you being unwell.

I just want to say that you can + will find your way back to being a happy and healthy positive person again.

Been through something similar myself and it wasn't nice at all,

But once you begin to find strength again,

you start to to see and act clearly and you will start to see a nice happy and healthy New life for yourself, for sure.

Keep your head up.

Take care of yourself Vanessi ..... xx

[NCAQuilter]

Oh, dear Vanessi, I have gone through what you're experiencing! My heart aches for you. I believe a breakup like yours is like divorce or death. The grief can be as deep. It took me a while to get over him, a little longer than your period, now. But, I did, and I met the love of my life. We just celebrated our 60th anniversary! During the dark days, my mother suggested I talk to a couple of divorcees (one was my mother) and a widow who were now living happy lives. They shared with me actions that helped them recover their balance when the world went tipsy. The two things they each shared were: 1) keeping busy and active in things that you enjoy, and 2) patience. The grief does pass, getting less intrusive as time goes on. You, very wisely, are doing #1. Patience will come with time. Maybe you can find people like I did, and get some relief. By the way, one of the three was a man! A very helpful man!

I am wishing you the best.

[Smellycat123456 in reply to NCAQuilter]

I read this post and I liked what you said. I am going through a divorce and I am in deep depression and that's why I am here tonight, I really don't want to relive the details at the moment. I'm 47 with many battle scares, and I'm broken. My heart was shattered but the Lord filled the broken cracks with his love and now I wish to share that love but he is the only one I can share it with for now. I can see and feel him all around but my rib is still missing for me to be complete.

[Coolid]

I can feel your pain, my ex bf did the same thing to me, it’s been so many years. But I miss him everyday, I even married another

Guy just to forget him. But i dont

feel same love and care with this guy. I think I still love my ex bf, even tough my ex kind of cheated me, but I am not able to hate him even for that. I think I don’t get love

And care from husband which I need and deserve. That is the reason I cannot forget my ex. This

Whole thing is the cause of my anxiety and depression. Sometimes I wish someone new

Comes my life, so I can put behind

All this, and live a normal life. I pray

To God everyday to help me.

[vanessi in reply to Coolid]

I'm so so sorry you are dealing with the same thing. I understand and I feel your pain like mine. He is the love of my life but I'm not his. Anyway what I've learnt is I'm not gonna be with someone else to try to forget him, it wouldn't be fair for the other person and myself. I'm just trying to get my confidence back. I have become a shy, insecure, afraid and scared of everything and everybody. I have no friends and my self-esteem is on the floor. The only thing I want is to have peace and feel ok with myself being alone. I don't need any man and I have to convince myself of it and also to convince that my ex never loved me and he will never do.

If you wanna talk you can text me!

[EEMO]

How do you know that?