I Hate Coming Home

[Downandout123]

So I live alone with 3 dogs. I hate where I live, but cannot change that right now. I also work from my home, so I am basically here pretty much 24/7. My mind is consumed with all the things that are going wrong in my life. Whenever I am out of here, it,'s like a mini vacation. Of course, the depression is still with me, but not as much. Then it's like the minute I step foot back into my house-BOOM!!!! It hits me like a ton of bricks, and my mind doesn't stop going over all these negative thoughts. How.do I STOP it?? How do I drive the negative thoughts away even WHEN I'm at home? Of course, when I'm at home alone it's made worse because there is no one here to distract me except my dogs.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry. I can relate. I never want to come home although I have a husband and child who I love. We live with my mil so it's hard and stressful. My husband hasn't worked in two years and is doing nothing to make a change. I have done all I can to change things but I'm at a loss full of resentment for him and my mil who won't do anything about it and is critical of me only. I would work every hour if I could.

I understand you have no one there. Although that sounds great to me I must count my blessings that I am not alone.

Come here and we will keep you company. Any doggies are good at that too. 😉

[Downandout123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry about your situation. It's not like I'm saying that I WANT someone to be here, it's just that being in this house, ( even if it's out in the backyard), just keeps the thoughts going. Well I guess it's because when I am here, I am alone with my thoughts. Makes sense. Geez-I've gotta try to get out more!! Lol

[Hidden in reply to Downandout123]

I am trying to get out a bit. But its real hard but could be a good thing. I went to lunch with my staff. It's hard since I'm the boss so I don't know if they are genuine and they are a whole lot older. Just take little steps. Enjoy the peaceful moments and really get to know and love yourself. In the end, that's all we have.

[Hidden]

Im sorry your dealing with this lonelyness I understand coz i feel same except i dont have any pets...i dnt no how to help you stop feeling this way but keep up getting of yr home as much as possible so u can feel much better for more of yr time. Yes u will feel rhe same again once you get home but the less time spent there the less time feeling down there.. u been single for long? I been single over 10 years now an its getting pretty lonely here too i try to get on with stuff around the home an garden to distract myself also starting a hobby in the hope it helps...its hard to get motivated into things when feeling so low but we have to push ourselves and force ourselves to do things to distract ourselves dontry yr best to occupy yrself best wishes xx

[Downandout123 in reply to Hidden]

I've been single now for 3 years. I don't know if they have many meet-up groups where you live, but they do have a lot by me. Most of them I am not interested in, but I do get out to one of them when they are doing something I enjoy. If you can find ENOUGH of them, that would be great!! Maybe I should push myself past my comfort level, to be able to get out more, but that's a whole nuther story!🙄

[pink83737]

So sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s so hard when the place you feel safest makes you feel depressed. Just try and take breaks outside of the house, take the dogs for walks, enjoy the sunshine, take your dogs to pet parks and just do little things for yourself! you will be okay i promise this won’t last forever!

[Ladybug102016]

Sorry to hear your home makes you feel this way when it should be the opposite. May I ask what the things are you hate about your home and it’s location?

[Downandout123 in reply to Ladybug102016]

The problems with my home are infinite. Plus, I work upstairs and live downstairs. So I am constantly here. Even though I don't like where I am living, I think it's just being alone in the same surroundings all the time that make me think of all my problems. Sure-if I loved the place I live, that would be easier to do. Unfortunately, it's not the case. Nightime and weekends ( if I don't go out),are definitely the worst-when I am all by myself-and plenty of time to think.

[froggymom88]

Maybe fix up a little part of your house in a special way. A place that you can associate with calm and peace. It could be installing a small water fountain or Zen garden or whatever speaks to your heart. Try to keep yourself busy at home with little projects and fun things to do. (Take a class online, listen to music, watch funny movies , facebook someone etc...)

[pink83737 in reply to froggymom88]

That’s a great idea! Love it

[Hidden]

Lot's of options. Join a meetup group. They have groups for anything you can think of. I'm sure there is one for dog owners too. Meetup at a dog park or walking with them. You hike? Join a meetup hiking club. Kayak, movie, happy hour? You name it, they have it.

I too was pretty much alone going through a divorce. It was terrible. I really wanted out in life I was so depressed. Meetup saved me. Now I also go to a crossfit class and love it. Almost two years at it now and I lost weight, got toned up, and have more energy. There's chemical stuff in your body that just makes you feel better. Don't know the science to it but it's great.

So go and join a crossfit class. Not the gym where you are alone doing your own thing. An instructor led class. I also have friends at the gym and we sometimes hang out, have dinner and they even come over my place to hang out sometimes.

Life isn't perfect and I still gotta battle my demons but it's so much better now. I still recall not too long ago, I was in a very very dark place in my heart. AT least now I have a fighting chance

[Downandout123]

Thank you for that and I am very glad that you are doing much better! 😊 I do belong to one meet-up group. I've checked out a bunch online but they are either too far, or the wrong age group, or simply things I'm not interested in. But I would recommend meet-up groups to anyone. I'm surprised that a lot of people have never heard of them.🤔

[Txnut60]

The very fact that we get unsettled in our safe spaces like our homes means that we need to get out of the house as much as possible. Take the dogs to a park or beach. Try new things or people. The soul yearns to progress and share itself with the world. You can do this!

[Downandout123]

Thank you so much! 😊