Unique Paranoia

[omelas]

A reoccurring fear of mine, that becomes more persistent as my anxiety rises, is being watched by cameras. It becomes debilitating when I change my actions to fit what’s “right” in the eyes of those watching me.

Example: Alone cleaning my house wearing baggy clothes & listening to music

My irrational fear would incite me to change into nicer clothes and change the music to something the observer would consider normal or good

While these changes seem small they have become so ingrained in my daily routines that I do not get to enjoy being myself (and I’m pretty dang cool)

I do not believe the cameras are real however the alternation of my actions persist.

[Walkathon]

Not unique, paranoia is common, feel the fear laugh it off and do it anyway, you have to talk yourself around, trust me I’ve been there still go there sometimes but self talk is soooo important.. wish you the best 😊

[omelas in reply to Walkathon]

Thank you for your reply! It’s persistent but I will give this a go. Glad to hear I’m not crazy or alone

[itgetsbetter5]

I used to have the same before but eventually I realised this isn’t true. I still do have this when I’m outside my house,I get paranoid that I’m not looking right or I look like I’m a ‘bad’ person so cctvs must be watching me most of the time. It used to be much worse and crippling for me but CBT and typing challenging thoughts on my phone helped me to lessen the intensity. I’m still working on it but I’ve already seen small changes and I hope its the same for you. It won’t be quick and easy so don’t give up even if its persistent and seem like nothing is changing, you got this. Best wishes x