...so I lost my job today: Firstly... - Anxiety and Depre...

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...so I lost my job today

Zoe299 profile image
20 Replies

Firstly thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. They provided me with a glimmer of hope and comfort.

Unfortunately despite my best efforts, I was dismissed today.

I'll never get to the true reason why and I can't fight it as was one month under 2 years service. They used something small to get rid of me and nothing to do with my actual job performance. It's unfair and sly.

The last 4 days have been horrific, I've lost nearly a stone in weight from not being able to eat and took enough valium to put out a horse.

I don't no how to feel, I feel everything and also nothing. Numb, Shocked, embarrassed, sad, scared, angry, powerless, confused, no closure...what could I of done differently? Where did I go wrong. Ive put so much hard work in there and for what?

what do I say to new jobs I'm interviewing for? What will they think?

I've got 2 months paid leave, 2 months to think and wallow, I'm scared how I will react and cope. I'm lucky to have a supportive partner and my 2 dogs but me and my mind are not friends and should not be left for long periods of time alone.

Cant believe it...when will I wake up?

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Zoe299 profile image
Zoe299
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20 Replies
kenster1 profile image
kenster1

sorry to hear that zoe I was hoping you got kept on.its your right though to find out why and if your not happy you could contact the union about it.two months pay and two months to try and find another job.glad you have a supportive partner as well.chip up your time will come again soon.

Zoe299 profile image
Zoe299 in reply tokenster1

Thank you for your reply :) we don't have a union unfortunately...it was only a small company.

They gave me a rubbish reason but I don't believe that's the true motivation behind it, no idea what it could of been. Everyone else was shocked.

But I have 2 interviews next week so fingers crossed for them!

OrthocerasMaximus profile image
OrthocerasMaximus in reply toZoe299

I'm feeling very dopey right now but I read your post and the replies and wanted to wish you luck on your interviews at least even if I'm not coherent enough to write something better. Smash it.

Zoe299 profile image
Zoe299 in reply toOrthocerasMaximus

Thank You! Why are you so dopey right now? :)

OrthocerasMaximus profile image
OrthocerasMaximus in reply toZoe299

Medication is heavy on me at the moment, later in the day is always worse for concentration and focus.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1 in reply toZoe299

fingers crossed you get one of those jobs its their loss and im sure another employer will be happy with your work.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Zoe, far better to work for someone who appreciates your contribution than for someone who can't see what an asset you are. So I'm not going to say sorry to hear the news, you're better off out of there, no point in working for people with poor judgement when it comes to evaluating staff.

I know you have to be with a company for 2 years before you get redundancy pay but you're still entitled to a good reason for their releasing you: is it redundancy or is it dismissal? If the latter there is the inference that you weren't doing your job properly.

In the U.K. you would have a case for unfair dismissal as they never gave you a chance to accomodate their criticisms and they never gave you any warnings.

At an ACAS tribunal you would have a good case for unfair dismissal. But maybe best to just take their 2 month's money and move on. The jobs market is buoyant right now and you will soon find a better job than the last.

Don't worry about what to tell prospective employers, just say you were made redundant because the company was losing business due to bad management decisions. If they ask what bad decisions just say it would be better for you not to be critical of a former employer. That makes you look good.

Look Zoe, these days everybody loses their job once or twice in their career for all sorts of reasons, who cares? it's an opportunity to move on to a better job. Everybody I know who lost their job, including me, ended up with a better job. It will be the same in your case I bet.

There's absolutely no reason to take this badly, it's because you're prone to anxiety, which exaggerates everything, that you've taken this badly. I hope you find somewhere much better to work for - and if you found somewhere better in the first 4 weeks you'll have gained an extra month's money!

brokenlight profile image
brokenlight

I’m so sorry this happened.

What bullshit.

You’ll get through it.

Try to be gentle with yourself.

Best of luck to you Zoe299.

Sunnidayz1 profile image
Sunnidayz1

Hi Zoe. Im sorry this happened. It's great news you have interviews soon!

If u need any interviewing help let us know!

quitter333 profile image
quitter333

people often worry so much about jobs its crazy..

if you are able to walk and talk, you wont die. thats the fact.

when i quiy job i didnt have any money nothing.. but it was great to do many smaller jobs. experience and friwnds i found was great.

I did not worry about appearances.. jeez friends or family who only value money are not something id keep.

collect your support and have a rest. think about what you would like to do. like honestly. do it. perhaps it wont being in money as much as before, but youll at least be happier

Been there. I was able to sue them though for a settlement for wrongful termination. Check with the EEOC if you think it was unfair. I was off for three years and never said I was let go when looking again. I said I took off to be with my daughter before she started school which was true but getting fired pushed mee to do that. You can always say family event, caring for sick member or friend. I know it's lying but I would never say I was fired because they won't buy your story even if you win a lawsuit over it. They would've just worried I would sue them. I have never had a problem with it and I have had a few jobs since. Think of it as a change you needed but never would've made the move yourself. I am in a way better position with double the money and had time with my baby I could never get back.

Take a breath, get some rest and get onto new adventures. This could be a blessing. I believe it all happens for a reason. God seems to carve the path anyway he can and steer us in the right direction.

LookingforSunrise profile image
LookingforSunrise in reply to

I like this, it is very helpful to me. I am going to quit my job ( I am on unpaid leave right now) and it is nice to know that someone else was able to find jobs after being off work for 3 years.

in reply toLookingforSunrise

Good for you. You will be fine. On to New and better adventures!

JAYnLA profile image
JAYnLA

You're going to be OKAY Zoe. I understand that that you feel your mind is not your friend when left alone - I have the exact same struggles, but I'm learning to get through it. It's a lot of work and meditation & therapy are the best tools I've found for it. Hang in there Love. You're actually doing quite well.

Ripley7 profile image
Ripley7

I’m so sorry. It’s perfectly ok to go through a grieving period which is what it sounds like to me.

I remember being let go several years ago like it was yesterday.

I was in complete shock - I don’t even driving home- I was a huge mess.

To me it felt very much like being suddenly dumped by someone you care a lot about and you don’t know what went wrong.

Because I’m so hypersensitive I suppose, it took me years to come to terms with it. Other people from the same place essentially ended up going through what I went through as well.

I think I t’s good that you are getting back on your feet with the interviews. That shows strength and resilience.

I truly believe there’s a much better job waiting for you right around the corner. I bet that later at some point you’ll look back on things and thank goodness you’re not with that old backstabbing place anymore. You could’ve just as easily been there for decades and the same thing could’ve happened. I’ve seen it happen to good folks who’d been loyal employees for decades.

Sometimes it really doesn’t have all that much to do with the who- it’s management shifting around the players for whatever their reason.

Stay strong- try not to dwell too much on the why- if you really don’t know why then I’d chalk it up to office politics and thank your lucky stars it’s sooner than later. They don’t deserve a loyal employee like you. ❤️

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

I notice you are in the UK. This sounds like they have broken the law and it may be possible to claim unfair dismissal. if you want to go this route find a solicitor who offers a free half hour (many do) and find out your rights.

I knew someone who was under the time too but the judge said as far as he was concerned she had been there long enough. She won £4,000 against her employer and this was 20 odd years ago. x

Zoe299 profile image
Zoe299 in reply tohypercat54

Thank you for your reply, yeah I'm in the UK and I have been thinking should I bother or not but seeing your comment it's worth a shot! I'll have a look today for a solicitor x

Destiny8277 profile image
Destiny8277

Crossing my fingers you get one of those jobs. And yes! Their loss !!!! I to lost my job. 4 years. But I took some tome to just relax. And now started a new job. It’s stressful learning so much. But I think I was so for a change. I wish you the best!!

Zoe299 profile image
Zoe299 in reply toDestiny8277

Thank you for your reply 😊 it's helpful to hear others that have gone through the same thing x

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

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