Hi. I have major depressive disorder. My family wants absolutely nothing to do with me. L am homeless and am using savings to stay at a motel. All I have is a cat, my boy, whom I haven't seen in 5 months. My therapist retired. The only person I had in the world just died on Mother's Day. I can't find a therapist. I'm scared of life without my aunt. I'm so scared of what is going to happen to me. I don't know how I can take much more. I am so scared.
I am so scared: Hi. I have major... - Anxiety and Depre...
I am so scared
Written by
Wildchipmunk
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
45 Replies
•
can you get contact with social services or charities?
Yes, they paid for four days in a motel. No one can help. Can't go to another psych hospital or shelter. They are like glorified prisons where you follow people around like little obedient animals. Psych hospitals don't help unless you need meds adjustment. Absolutely no therapy. I don't think I can hold on. I keep forgetting my aunt is gone, think of things to tell her, see things to get her. I think it might be time to end everything. Not a cry for help because there is none..
hi Wildchipmunk, please hang in there, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you are not alone. There are others here in similar situations who understand what you're going through. Have you tried calling your state's resource information line? I'm not sure if it is the same for all states, but in Washington you can dial 211 and an operator will help you find resources (I've used this in the past when I was homeless and broke too, they also provide info about low-fee or free services). Maybe they can help you find a new therapist?
Isolation is one of the biggest symptoms of depression, I'm so glad you are reaching out for help. Keep fighting! 😊
Thank you
Thanks! Your kind, supportive words mean a lot🙂
church?
Don't have time, no car to drive to one. But thinking about joining one of I can get on my feet. Thanks!
Do what it takes to get whatever kind of social services will keep you off the street. Yes, call 211. Ask for all the referrals they have. Contact every one of them. Be aggressive.
Your pride can't get in the way of getting shelter. Beg. Lie -- make up the story the state needs to help you. You have a narrow window of opportunity right now to get help. The state isn't your friend... if you are denied help, don't accept "No." Call 211 again and ask for an ombudsman, or anyone being paid to turn no into yes. Such people do exist. Do it.
Thanks! I have been struggling for about 2 years. Churches and social services have helped me. Don't like accepting, much rather be giving. Only adds to feelings of worthlessness. Doing best I can. Hope to give back one day. Thanks for caring about me!
You're welcome.
That's what this forum does so well. The outside world may not get us, but here you've got people who understand.
It's miserable to accept charity, but think beyond that. The churches and social services are giving back. You have to get past survival to begin paying back yourself.
Please let us know how you do.
I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Is there a woman’s shelter you can go to and speak to them about options? I don’t even k now what the other replies have said maybe they have suggested the same or better. but my heart breaks for you.
Research online for free counseling services and just keep digging. You could event go to eventbrite search ADHD and see what free things they may be able to provide. They have resources in the US and in the UK.
I wish there was more I could do for you. I’m so sorry my friend. But we are all here for you if you need to talk or strategize.
Thanks! I have decided to take my life rather than enter another psych hospital, crisis bed, or shelter. Will not stand there while people search my pocketbook, go through my things as if I am a criminal. Also won't be out on streets again. Things worse than death out there. Am trying to get car, I have the money ( or will get it). I just got a therapist, so hopefully she can help me navigate through everything. I am just so touched that so many people out there really care about me. I don't know how to handle it, actually! No words, only a heartfelt "thank you"! ☺️ 💗
I’m going to be honest the way you started your message about you decided to take your life made my heart go all the way to my butthole. I’m sorry for the raw words. I stopped dead in my tracks. As I read in I realized what you said and I was relieved that it wasn’t what I thought.
I don’t know you but I care if you hurt from the stuff you are going though because finding a community of people who get it but still tell you the truth is really all we need. We don’t need aggressive pressure 24/7 or tough love on a regular. I get it it could be hard for those who love you if you hurt them consistently it here’s a great community. Let’s take advantage and knock this crap out the park.
The saddest thing is that I did nothing to them. I did the best I could. They do not understand about depression and think I need tough love. I hope I can get car soon and get on my feet. I love the people here. Everyone seems to get where I'm coming from. Thanks, Chrysalis!
Awful situation and I am so sorry.
Perhaps if you mention what State you are in then someone might live there and have some knowledge of any help available?
Thanks! I have used most of MD resources. Just found therapist. Maybe she can help. Thank you for caring!
I applied for disability when my major depression started. I was instead approved for early retirement and began getting my payments pretty quickly. I was 62 years old. That may be an option for you. Please hang in there. Better days are ahead.
Thanks!
I'm sorry you're going through this. One of my friends faced similar struggles, and what helped him was reaching out to local support groups and crisis helplines. They can provide immediate assistance and connect you with resources for housing and mental health support. Finding someone to talk to is crucial, even if it's just a friend or a support hotline. Taking things one day at a time and focusing on small steps can make a difference. You're not alone, and there is help out there.
Thank you. I hope your friend's situation has improved.
I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there. You're not alone and you're definitely needed. Even when you're feeling your worst, remember there are people out there who need you and want you to be happy. There are people whose lives you've touched and you may not be aware that you've had a positive impact on them, but you have. I can very much relate to how you feel, but you really aren't alone and hopefully you can take some small comfort knowing that we care about you. Keep going for your cat. I find my 3 female rabbits are the only things keeping me going just now, but I love them and know they need me around, so I'm trying my best to stay in the moment for them, while I try and pack up my life into boxes to move out.
I love rabbits! Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes suicide seems only option. But I want to hold my boy again. You are literally moving or a metaphor? I'm so glad you have them. And glad they have you? Have you ever read Watership Down? A novel about family of rabbits. Only read partially as a child. If you get a chance please tell me names and colors of your rabbits. Do you view this move as a positive thing?
The move is literal. We have been together nearly 7 years and I've lived with her solidly for a year and a half. My being unemployed has annoyed her, but I've only recently been diagnosed with ADHD and there is potentially autism there too. She just felt that for 7 years I haven't moved forward. I procrastinate and nothing changes. She wanted us to be married and start a family, but I've never really found her to be loving and she's not in touch with her emotions and that's something I need. She basically never talks.We started off with 2 rabbits who were Peaches and Poppy.
Peaches was white with brown ears, brown eye patches. She sadly died a week after she turned 4. I was utterly devastated.
Her sister, Poppy, is completely brown. I call her my caramel cutie.
In our local pet store there were two rabbits called Lacey and Snowball. They had been in the busy store for months and no one wanted them as they were about 4 and a bonded pair. We took them in, but we've been unable to bond them with Poppy, so they stay fenced off in our living room. Poppy has free reign of the house and after her sister died, I decided to allow her to sleep under our bed, which she does. We made sure to keep her spoiled after her sister passed.
We renamed Lacey as Daisy, as we didn't think Lacey suited her. She's white with dark brown on her back, ears and over the sides of her face. The vets all describe her as sassy. When we rescued her the animal charity that had her initially hadn't checked her over and it was suggested we get her put down because they felt she had dental anomalies. Well, we weren't willing to do that, so we took her to a vet school and she was treated privately and given a 3d x-ray that revealed her teeth are bad, but not as bad as our vet believed.
She's cost us a couple of thousand pounds, but I wasn't willing to give up on her. She's similar to Peaches in that she's very caring and washes her sister and grooms my arms like Peaches did.
Her sister Snowball looks like a wild rabbit. Her fur is extra thick and soft, she has huge eyes and massive paws and huge feet. She's like the she-hulk of rabbits. She's very unsociable though. We've had the other 2 for 1.5 years and Snowball growls, bites and 'punches', when you try and pet her. Due to her being a rescue rabbit we just don't know what her life was like before we got her. I've tried my best to reassure and help her, but she just doesn't like people.
Poppy will be 6 in September.
The issue I have is I'll have to leave and move back in with my parents. I'm a hoarder/collector and I have so much stuff I will definitely need a storage locker. I just don't know how I'll afford it. I will have to try and get a flat, but I'm not very independent. That being said, I will be attempting to take Poppy with me, but I worry about taking her away from the only home she's known. I will miss the other 2, but my ex bought a huge hutch for them that we've been unable to utilise for lack of space, so with me gone she could do that. It's all the uncertainty.
I definitely know Watership Down. I haven't read it (though I do own a copy signed by Richard Adams). I have seen the animation and it terrified me as a kid. His story The Plague Dogs was also turned into a film, but it's very grim and about 2 dogs escaping from a vivisection lab. That book ends positively, but the film doesn't.
Animals definitely help to keep me going. Their unconditional love is inspiring.
I loved hearing about your rabbits. I am bad about collecting stuffed animals! I like taking them with me so I'm not alone! When tourist buses pass by, when I had car, bear liked to wave up at people! He also likes to give waves to people who look like they need to have a bear wave at them! I'm so glad you have Daisy a chance to live. And Snowball. Dear little heart must have been abused or neglected. You'll win her over. She just needs to learn to trust again. Would you guys ever consider seeing a therapist or counselor together? They see things objectively and could maybe help. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Just be good to yourself and take things slow and easy. Thank you for taking time to reach out to me! Love to all the "cotton tails"!🙂🙂
She has decided the relationship is done and there's no going back. What's frustrating for me is she just wouldn't open up and talk about it or tell me what I could do to help and change. She'd just storm around the house and if I asked what was wrong she'd give me the 1 word answer of 'unhappy' and that was it. She'd never elaborate. I just don't want to leave and leave the rabbits with her, as she's not very caring of them and I worry she'd neglect them.
Near where my Parents stay there is a large flat where the owner keeps a stuffed teddy in the window. Every day they change the clothing to match the weather. I don't know how many outfits they must have for him, but people send the teddy postcards, which they also display in the window. It's one of those things that cheers you up when you see it. They've been doing that at least 40 years, as I used to get my teddy bear to wave at the one in the window. I've not been by there for several years, but I hope he's still there. If you want to check it on Google it can be found with 'teddy bear window Hyndland Glasgow's. People post blogs and comments about it.
Apparently it's official name is The Hyndland Paddington and it was created by the owner in 1981.
google.co.uk/amp/s/www.neve...
I love the bear in the window!!! These people have three geese on their porch which are dressed for seasons and holidays! The world needs more things like this! Thank you for sharing! Don't give up. Do what seems right to you. One day at a time. Things will get better. This conflict is not permanent.
Yes, I've read Watership Down. I do a... bit... of reading now and then.
The link is for the film version. Enjoy.
archive.org/details/watersh...
Thank you so much for the movie!!!!
You're welcome.
Embarrassed bunny for you.
Awww! What a little sweetheart! What a pretty little bunny rabbit! Love her eye and ear- markings!
Dumb phone! After I texted I was so glad they ( rabbits) had you, wanted a "!", not a "?". I Am glad they have you! Gnash of teeth to all technology!🙂🐰🐇
HelloIm in situation similar. I have cat. Live in senior residence that dont really like people to have pets. Im afraid I wont be able to recertify for section 8 which is helping me paying my rent here.
Been in hospital bad experience.
Hope things work out for you in future wildchipmunk.
Regards
Peace
I don't know why you wouldn't be able to to recertify. Just be sure to do it before any deadline! Talk to a social worker or go to social services. They can help you through all of the red tape. And get one of the therapists to register your cat as a emotional support animal. Try not to worry. You will be alright! Thank you for your text! What is your cat's name? What does he/she look like? Cats are the absolute best therapists! Take care!
hey wildchipmunk, im in an almost identical situation. i have no one with issues on top of issues mentally. was thinking of letting go also. if you'd like to talk more, you can message me or lmk to message you
I'm so sorry! Sometimes letting go has seemed the only option. But I found a therapist so there is hope. One thing I've learned is that you never know what tomorrow will bring; it's not always bad. Have a modicum of hope Just so there's a little light at the end of the tunnel. The thing is, there is always light at end of tunnel. We just can't see it. Tell me about your cat! Name, color, and so on!
I hope you are okay. Would love to talk more but tech- illiterate. Life complicated and not knowing what will happen is unbearable. I hope your situation has improved, Peter. It's hard enough to deal with MDD, but having to do it without support is terrible. My heart goes out to you. I know we will get through this. It is just extremely hard. Thanks for reaching out.
And you aren't alone: you have all of us!!🙂
Sorry to read your going through tough time to I'm also facing homelesness,I just got eviction notice from landlord,the city gave her alot citations on house I been renting ( dump) and she gave me 2 weeks to get out I'm down here caring for elderly mom,and No one to help or talk w. .being homeless is going to be really tough it's so hot m humid down here and i despise the heat..I sweat 😰 more then most...I really hope you can find some help,I got therapy n it's not bad but not much help life's being really cruel now and pray I can make it,I have severe anxiety and bipolar depression thats veen very bad w all going on.., this is gonna suck,I pray for us both...
I hope you find somewhere really cheap and good location, near shops. And you stay hydrated and safe. This is something UK government and other countries government should help out with and protect the vulnerable and all people from this situation. I wish churches, temples or charities would do more. Only help I see is for domestic violence, maybe but other groups of people left out in such conditions, not healthy
It's very tough to lose folks we like,I just lost my best friend his son shot him and killed him and my little brother took his own life,I can't find peace w the losses,I just lost...life can be very cruel I can say..but we must keep on,not much choices...
my sister in law let go recently. She’s happy now; I firmly believe having had a crap life.
I literally feel your pain through your words. Its crazy to see how many of us are going through similar things yet we feel alone. Thats why i had to reply…. I couldve written every word you said. I too have a cat…. Shes my support snd the only reason i get out of the bed during my lowest times. My family too has betrayed me in a way thats inhumane. Im so glad i found this group.
To hear such kind, encouraging words is everything when all i hear is many negative adjectives that have no basis of truth whatsoever.
I want to actually live my life. Satan never takes a day off from trying to tear us down and disregard all the things the Bible teaches us . Having support from this group has helped offset me see the enemy lies and more of Gods truth
Ive not met you , but i can say with certainty you have a huge heart and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. Anyone who cant see how loving and kind you are is .. excuse me but … plain stupid ! My cat is a rescue and 7 years old
How about your cat ?
Thank you for your kind words! When family rejects you it is such an incredible hurt. I'm so sorry! I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I don't know why God allows us to go through such pain and I have been very angry with Him, but I know He dearly loved is and it's for a good reason. Cats are wonderful aren't they. I take great comfort in cats, birds, trees, all of nature. I wish I could do something meaningful to help you. I can only text you support and love and "cyber hugs"!😺Turk, my cat son is smoky gray. I sent a sideways photo of him somewhere on this site. The man who is taking care of him has asked me to stay with him until I get on my feet. Kind of can't feel happy because I'm so used to bad things happening. You will get back on your feet, too. In the words of my therapist, "families suck"! So you go out and pick your own family. They're out there and they are going to be so glad to have you in their lives. I promise, things will get better for you. You don't have to believe it. But down deep, know it will happen. Thank you again for your kind message! Take care now!!😺💓
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
I am so scared
I am so scared there’s more than anxiety and stress wrong with me. I feel like I may of had a...
So scared 😢😢😢
I going to the doctor today.... I'm freaking out super bad.... so scared. My husband is convinced...
Why am I here? I'm tired of being scared!
Hello! I came across this site after looking AGAIN for ideas on my crippling phobias. I've got a...
3 hours untill i start traveling to university city. I'm scared
I'm scared whether i'm making a mistake and whether something happens because i'm gone. And i'm...
Am I scared of happiness ?
Hi everyone !
I had an amazing morning today ! I had a good night sleep , I dropped the kids at...
Bad anxiety, I feel so overwhelmed 
Really scared and nervous
I'm so scared and uncomfortable
Sleeping too much, i am happy but i am scared
