Feeling worthless

[JKatt1853]

I experience anxiety, depression, mood swings from a traumatic childhood. I have never felt good enough. I often revert back to the 8 yr old who felt like she was bad sand didn’t deserve anything at all. I don’t know how how to talk to myself to get through the panic. (Among a thousand other things that plague me daily. I have been in therapy many times as an adult, I’m on medication, and have read literally hundreds of books to help me. I don’t know how to get out of this place of worthless and shame right now.

[Hidden]

I feel that too. I Lack self esteem and stuff.

It’s hard to answer this in one way.

First , they say to create new positive experiences. Next, Exercise to build a physical appearance you like. Next, do things to help people and community. People volunteer and they say it helps with self esteem building. For example, a soup kitchen or animal shelter. Next, set boundaries that you and others must obey or keep. Next, talking about it is good . For example, describe how you feel. Next, focus on the positive things about yourself and work on the flaws. Next, self compassion.org has free compassion exercises to meditate and do daily. For example, change the self talk to positive talk to yourself.

This list would go on. My English is not good enough to write all fancy pants sorry.

I realized that people who look all perfect get cheated on too, can be unhappy, and feel the same as unattractive people.

I realized that some people that are not so physically attractive think they are and the attractive people think they not.

I notice I’m less attractive when I feel unattractive.

I notice eating healthier, exercising, setting boundaries, volunteering, doing things that please myself, and changing self talk can help self esteem and worth and stuff .

They say do not believe your net worth as your self worth. Yet, school teaches us that people who are poor can be more prone to suicide. Yet, if you travel to poor areas in Mexico these people are so beautiful and happy. So hmm

My Counsellor does this cool technique. She tells me to look back at a time when I was a child and say what and when I felt less than or was treated like I was nothing. Did someone say something or did something happen that gave that impression that I was garbage. So then, you give an example. And as an adult now say the experience out loud. What were you wearing ? How was your hair? What was the people that made you feel this way wearing or saying? Then, you say to yourself the little child you were,” I’m here now you matter “. Your just say what you want to that little child you were and say to the person or situation what you would say. For example, my mom abandoned me as a child. I will remeber a moment she abandoned me and remeber she was drunk and I was a child. I tell the child I was “ I am here now “ and tell my mom” you were suppose to be there and protect me”.

The point of the exercise I cannot write clearly to explain is describe the situation you remember that could be the cause of your esteem issues and be the middle man. Haha or girl. You tell the person or situation what a compassionate person would say.

[JKatt1853 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your insights. When you’re in panic mode it’s really hard to “ground” yourself and realize that these negative experiences are not happening any more. I do need to go back to situations that made me feel worthless. It’s often difficult, however, to be positive to your younger self-especially when you are having a panic attack. I have worked out for years and it has helped, but sometimes I feel it is vanity-even though I know it’s not. I don’t feel worthy of being healthy and strong (even though I am bc exercise seems to shut the deamons up for a period of time) or even doing things for myself. I am currently helping a couple of close family members with health issue-trying to make sure I keep those healthy boundaries and not get into thinking I have to do everything for them. Just a really bad night. Flashbacks and triggers seem to make me forget what I have done in the past to get through these moments. I know that a panic attack (and depression and anxiety) will go away at some point even if for a short period of time, but I ALWAYS feel like it will never end-that I will feel that way 24/7 forever.Really gets me stuck, and then I am back to being that kid that no one wants because I’m bad.

[hypercat54 in reply to JKatt1853]

Hi have you ever had CBT? This teaches you all about the parent child cycle and how to get out of it. x

[JKatt1853 in reply to hypercat54]

Have not heard about CBT, but will research it out. Thank you so much for your input

[JKatt1853 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Your words helped me get past that moment. It happens over and over yet still doesn’t get much easier (the anxiety/depression). It’s been happening since I was very young. Trying to make sense of all the trauma is impossible-I guess when you have a lot of childhood trauma you still revert to a child when you have the anxiety depression and children have no idea of how to understand or even put the pieces of the trauma together

[Hidden in reply to JKatt1853]

I have had anxiety since 18. I’m 35. I’m still dealing with trauma. I wakeup in night with panic attacks. I find it hard to do regular exercise. Lol. I think we know everything we need to do. I need discipline skills HHaha. Hope your day was better.

[Mary-intussuception]

Hi JKatt

Feeling worthless ?

Sometimes our feelings can be deceitful - usually when we are down or /and unwell & often through no fault of our own.

So I thought I mention a few facts as you are most certainly not worthless.

You are Precious and Loved and of great worth.

Having had a traumatic childhood means you need healing. We all do, no one is perfect or perfectly well.

To get through the panic try slow deep breaths, or counting to 10, thinking of each number as you count.

Most important - Remind yourself that you are Precious .

🌹♡🌹♡🌹

God Bless

Mary

xXx

[JKatt1853 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you so much Mary. It feels nice just to hear those words❤️

[Sunnidayz1]

I have healed through parts therapy. I healed with the right therapist and the proper medication. If you've been going to a therapist for a very long time ( years and years) and you are still anxious then in my opinion, seek a new therapist who specializes in CBT or parts therapy.

From what Ive learned, I can say that your child part needs to heal from that shame. Somewhere in your childhood you were taught to feel really ashamed.

I know how you feel. Ive been healed from panic and anxiety and so can you!

[JKatt1853]

Thank you. I’ve dealt with PTSD and all that goes along with it for so many years. I’ve gone to every type of therapist imaginable (sometimes for 2-3 years at a time. It has helped, but I think the trauma was so severe and continued for so many years that I am just trying to deal with symptoms every day. I research a lot about it and try new things. It’s like it is part of me just like my arm or leg. So I have to take care of symptoms. I’m slightly less hyper vigilante than I have nerm, but I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. One book that has really helped me is “Codependent No More”. I don’t have substance abuse, but the basic concept of this book is so very helpful for anyone. I need to go back and reread it. I’m still fighting the good fight every day, and I guess that’s what really matters. It helps to hear about other’s experience and advice

[Kayle008]

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