worthless

[AK1003]

I feel like I am not worth living anymore. I used to be a strong and determined person. I have married a man who grew up in an abusive family. After 15 years of marriage he had destroyed me to have no confidence in myself. I am fighting to wake up every morning. I tell myself I need to get out of bed for my girls (9 and 12 yr) but I don’t know how long I can keep it up.

[capeggy]

Please be patient with yourself. I have been where you are. Are you on meds? In therapy? Is religion part of your life? I call "dial a prayer" when I need. Stay in this group for suggestion and people in similar situations. Don't give up, your girls need you. Maybe you need an in house psychiatric stay, temporarly to sort out things.. HUG!

[AK1003 in reply to capeggy]

When to counseling before many years ago but stopped going. Doc prescribed anti depressants but not taking it cuz it made me feel not myself.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

All I can say is as a mother what are you showing your girls is acceptable behavior from a partner.

You are not worthless. You are a princess. You’ve just let someone tarnish your tiara. Should he tarnish theirs as well?

We must teach them how to be treated; male and female. That is your purpose. Find that woman inside. Go buy a cheap tiara and put it on. Demand respect or leave. This is their future you’re building.

They see it all.

Doaty💛

[Phobia64]

My ex husband destroyed me. I kept living because of my 2 boys. Your girls need you

[admirablesloth]

your husband destroyed your confidence, yet you still remain standing. you have two beautiful girls that will ADMIRE you for being so strong and carrying on even after someone made a failure of an attempt to keep you down. i would start off small. write down affirmations. “i’m beautiful, i’m confident, i’m smart” etc and try reciting them everyday until you begin to believe it ❤️

[Billsfriend in reply to admirablesloth]

Really excellent advice, it worked for my sister, when she was crushed by an abusive husband! It's so far behind her now that it no longer has power over her

[Roxylox in reply to admirablesloth]

Definitely great advice there admirablesloth

[conquestofhappiness]

I know how a partner can destroy your confidence and make you always scared that you might have done something wrong. I know it b/c i was once there. I had a boyfriend and he was just like this -- superficially, he seemed super dazzling, handsome, an MBA from a top Ivy business school, decent job, friendly to his colleague and business partners. However, at home, he criticized almost EVERYTHING i did, from food to how a calculus question is solved on my homework , to the way i talked with my friends. He'd lost his temper, shouted out how wrong I was, and gradually, i dared not even utter a word when he was present, as i was in fear that I said something he thought inappropriate and would attack me verbally afterwards like before. I am lucky that I passively got rid of him after he traveled to another country for business and found some other girl. I sincerely hope that girl is doing well.

This type of people are control freaks, they control you by first destroying your self confidence. They'd continuously test your bottom line and push it down further each time. If you become mad and try to end the relationship, they'd cry, apologize, kneel down or even hurt themselves to beg you back. Once everything is back to normal, the same vicious circle begins.

Now you think you are not worth living, this is the aftermath from your last damaging relationship, you were brain washed by him and you are still not recovered.

You are of course WORTH living. Every one is! and you actually have more reasons to live on because you have kids to raise.

check out the case of Conrad Roy, that's the damage that type of partner can do.

The first step is to fully realize the damage your ex have made to your self-confidence and self-esteem, the second step is to gradually but intentionally restore them. This is a tough job but I hope you can do it, for the sake of yourself, and for the sake of your kids.

[conquestofhappiness in reply to conquestofhappiness]

OMG, I just realize you are not divorced yet! You are really in a very tough situation as it's much harder to recover if you are still in this toxic relationship. Are you financially secured? Are you going to continue with the marriage？

[AK1003 in reply to conquestofhappiness]

Financially I am okay. I don’t know. I got back and worth about it.

[Billsfriend in reply to conquestofhappiness]

Wow, this advice gets right to the heart of the matter.

It is true that many people brought up with abuse will go on to abuse the people who love them. It's also very sad, I hate to say I am one of them. It's taken me 65 years, but I finally became self aware. It took a real crisis ( my Son and his wife decided that I was a bad influence on their children).

It was extremely difficult to realize, but now I'm glad that I know. My whole goal in life is to stop hurting people.

I tell you that in hopes that you will do what is best for you and your children.

You are the only one who can break the chain of abuse.

Please do it now, you will be glad you did, and your children will benefit and really blossom as a result.

I see a lot of good advice for you from others too!

I'm so glad you're here, and yes. It makes me feel better, knowing I might help you or someone else!

Please keep us posted. Send me a private message if you want to hear more!

Sincerely

Bob

[Roxylox]

you are a great person, keep posting. some great advice on here for you