Feeling worthless today

[WanderlustGirl23]

Hello everyone,

I just joined today in hopes that I can find comfort in community. I've been depressed for most of my life. My depression stems from body image issues and the disordered eating eating patterns/thoughts that follow it. I knew it was getting bad when I had daily suicidal thoughts.

I took control in 2021 and started therapy again and finally got on SSRI's. It's been really helpful but today, I'm relapsing a bit and have thoughts of worthlessness after working out this morning. Some days, exercise helps. Some days, it makes things worse. It can bring out feelings of being disappointed in myself for my performance which then starts to spiral into me analyzing my food choices this past weekend and it furthers my feelings of worthlessness. I feel like I'm going down a negative spiral today and came here for some community support until I can get in with my therapist for an appt.

If anyone else out there struggles with body image issues, depression, disordered eating, know that you're not alone. Thank you for reading this.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Welcome to the community. We’re glad you’re here because we need you.

I struggle with depression. And that sometimes manifests into a low self esteem spiral. I feel like I’m not good enough. And then push myself to be different. Which only makes me run from who I am.

Self awareness and self acceptance are actions I strive to achieve. If I’m comfortable in my own skin, I’m at peace.

[WanderlustGirl23 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you! Pushing yourself to be different....I relate to that so much. I know I shouldn't feel this way and try to 'snap out of it' so I'm not a Debbie downer.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to WanderlustGirl23]

Sometimes the world needs Debbie Downers. Lol.

I’m not a “Rainbows and Puppy Dogs” kind of person either.

I practice being a human being rather than a human doing.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

One of my favorite Wall Street Journal cartoons shows a flamingo laying on a psychiatrist’s couch. The shrink is sitting in a chair behind her, taking notes. The caption reads, “So be a flamingo.”

I’m a flamingo who insists on being an eagle.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I understand about the self inflicted stigma (even though there really is a social bias). My mother had a depression and anxiety disorder. And I worked very hard to convince myself and others that I didn’t have a mental illness.

Finally I had to throw in the towel and surrender to the obvious. At that point I was able to get help.

[Lve2dance in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yes it is unfortunate.. Mental health is fragile. But we are still beautiful strong amazing people.. It doesn't define us. It is great to have a forum like this where we can look out for each other

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Lve2dance]

Yes. I agree.

[Lve2dance in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

It's, very hard also when you have family members who have their own issues and anxiety definitely but they think it's a choice. Or it's being unappreciative... Or it's solely to ruin their lives

[Lve2dance]

Welcome wanderlustGirl23❤️. We are here for you