This sucks

[brokenlight]

What do you do when you feel incredibly proud of yourself on the inside, but outside of yourself, the consensus seems to contradict everything you’re feeling.

I can’t differentiate between my own usual negative self talk & what feels like a giant, collective finger pointing down at me & saying “you actually suck”.

It doesn’t seem fair.

It’s confusing & makes me really sad.

& I’m left feeling stupid for being so proud of myself.

Which makes me mad at myself & upset with everyone involved in that ***hole collective finger... imaginary or not.

It’s like the universe decided “no those good feelings aren’t for you, sorry”.

I don’t know... I’m just down. Right back where I was.

Thank you for listening ✨

I’m really thankful for this community ✨

[xinrx_]

i know, not being able to tell what's reality and self hate because it's all just become one thing, because reality is the reason of your self hate and self hate has become your reality.

but i'm glad you were proud of yourself, even if it didn't last long. it makes me proud to know that you were proud of yourself. it's hard to keep negative emotions away but for a while you were able to keep it away. you're strong and i'm proud of you, keep going, you're amazing. i'm always here to talk to if you want to, you don't have to go through anything alone and trust me i won't let you

[Starrlight]

Wow 😯 I can relate very closely. I wish I had the answers. But I do think there is good reason to be proud of yourself. ❤️ I like you for just being you.

[hypercat54]

Hi this is very painful isn't it? I used to work for a domestic insurance company and remember giving my family some good advice on several occasions (asked for). They just dismissed it with a joke obviously thinking I was just making it up or wasn't capable of knowing anything. I hate not being taken seriously when I am, or just treated as a joke.

The answer for me is having good friends who do recognise my good qualities and completely disregarding detractors attitudes as completely the opposite of how it should be.

Your own self worth is much more important than what others think anyway so praise and validate yourself. You know who you are and what you have done so don't let others run you down. Well done. x

[jkl5500]

We are social creatures, and we all want to be liked. So we all behave in ways that increase the chances of our being liked. It's a nice, validating feeling to be liked.

But there are limits to this. When it gets to the point of feeling like you have to be "approved of" by others, that (in my opinion, at least) is going too far. Who appointed these others as your judges? Are they some higher form of life? Of course not!

I know it's a cliché, but you have to start with loving yourself and approving of yourself. If you know your behavior is not wrong and you have done your best, then don't worry about those people who don't approve of you. Just find some other people - there's a world full of them!

[brokenlight]

xinrx_, Starrlight, hypercat54, & jk5500

Thank you so much for your awesome replies. I’m grateful for you & for this community ✨