I am so alone

[NANNETTE1]

I live in a neighborhood so "closed" and now that I am retired, no one speaks to me; I have invited people to come over for dinner, no one accepts because "I know you cook gourmet food and I could not compete" I have never asked to be invited back, I just want to have someone to talk to, I want a friend(s)… I am so isolated there are days when I just feel like closing my eyes and never wake up. Why am I so rejected? Because I speak with an accent? Because I offer the best I have ? Why? Why?

[dogsaregreat]

I know how you feel. I only have one friend in the whole world. He has saved me many times from suicide and depression. As I am a female, I would love to have female friends too. I live with my parents, at 50, due to needing care. With this situation, I cannot have anyone over. This is my parents house, which they consistently remind me of. I'm so lonely, and I come across very desperate when trying to make friends. People end up running away from me. I'm sorry no one visits you. Life can be very lonely sometimes. I have two birds that keep me company. Do you have any pets?

[Hidden]

Don’t worry about others not liking you. You perfect. Go try making friends else where and not just in your neighborhood. Go out more. But, always be yourself

[Hidden]

I’m sorry that you are having a hard time right now. I’m in my early 50’s and have lost many close friends along the way. It can get lonely and boring and monotonous. I often blame myself when others don’t respond enthusiastically to my offers or they blow me off so readily. I can get really down on others too thinking about how thoughtless they are. The one thing I have been realizing as I age is that each of us really is alone. Others are busy usually with family that rely on them or because that’s what is easiest or most convenient and this is what many many people need as they age-convenience. So for me, not fighting this fact, letting go of hurt feelings, and learning to depend upon the only person I truly have, me, helps me through the bad, sad thoughts. Also trying to immerse myself in hobbies like gardening, reading, knitting, painting furniture, helps too. Going to support groups, church groups or exercise classes is a good way to be with people. I hope you find some peace

[Tikirob in reply to Hidden]

I am only starting to see this now.

[Tikirob]

Just curious What does so “closed” mean? Sorry to hear about unsocial community you live near.

[Want2BHappy3]

Iam also someone who is lonely. The way society is Now, we only socialize on our devices, like I'm doing now. There seems to be a mistrust when we try to interact with each other in person? I've tried to make friends, I'm retired too. Have you tried joining a senior center? My anxiety unfortunately keeps me from getting out sometimes.

[pump321]

I felt so sorry reading about how lonely you feel and I can just imagine what it must be like to have tried so hard to make friends and they do not respond. I don't know if you live in a town or the countryside but I would try and join a group if it is possible depending if you can drive or catch a bus etc. The best way to find companionship is to volunteer to help with something, anything. I always find organisations are crying out for people to help them out. Charity Shops need people all the time and hospitals often have voluntary groups who carry out all sorts of fundraising. If you are able to get involved and help then I am sure you will eventually meet a nice person and will naturally find a friend that way. People who fund raise and care for others are naturally nice people, so try and offer your services to help those less fortunate than you. Helping other people is often the key to be happy. Please don't give up, keep searching and volunteer. I wish you good luck, thinking of you.

[Hidden in reply to pump321]

I agree completely. Wonderful advice

[fauxartist]

Try something different.....there is a site called 'meet up' I believe....it's groups with different interests from all over the world and different places. There are on line groups for every interest, gardening, traveling, every interest...I like mushroom hunting...found a group and it was great fun....doing art clubs...find a local community center that offers courses in painting, pottery, photography, or knitting, quilting....cooking....

Eventually if you keep trying....you will find your niche.....

[KrierandRosie]

I have the same issues. I stopped having parties and fewer and fewer show up. I no longer invite people over. I tried to befriend many over the years. I wondered what is it about me they don’t like? Know what? I stopped caring. Enjoy your own company. Do things you like on your own. Maybe a friend will show up. If not, let it go. You might find a group to join. Have to find like-minded people to hang with, maybe. Look for events you can attend alone.