Alone

[Raiinbow08]

Going through a really tough time. I don’t want to be negative. Specially being a new year. I know things get better with time. Not everything stays the same, they have to change at some point.

It sucks to have no family support though. My family has completely turned their back on me. It hurts so much to feel this alone. Physically I am exhausted. Mentally I am drained. It has been a complete full week that they haven’t spoken to me at all. No texts, no calls, nothing.

We had a falling out, an argument that blew over.

I have two sisters and a mother. It was always just us, always growing up. I acknowledge that I’m different but I am myself. I don’t change or act different when I am around others or family. I am always just me.

I feel like I have done something wrong. In the pit of my stomach though I know I haven’t. They go out or do things together and they don’t include me or my family. Things as simple as going out to eat or just cooking a meal at my mothers home. We are never invited. It hurts and I have found out on many occasions that they are going or doing something without us because they will post on social media. Like two weeks ago they posted that they had gone to the movies. My first reaction was sending a text message to my sister and simply saying “thanks for inviting us to the movies”.

I got no reply.

I don’t want to do this damage to myself any more. One of also the many reasons why I deactivated all social media. I told my self I just can’t keep putting myself through all that. It is not fair to me.

So,

I have decided to completely cut them off from this point forward because of the drama that they bring to my life. The few times that we have done things together as a family, there’s always some sort of argument. (Not involving me)

When I am here at home with my husband we live a peaceful quiet and happy life. No drama. No yelling. No fighting. No arguing. We get along well. And I enjoy it that way.

Please don’t judge the situation I really just come here to vent. I see this as my safe space, as my journal even where I can come and speak on these types of personal things.

I am sad.

Back to the black hole. 🕳

[Iloveart7]

I'm srr you are having such a rough time right now. (((Hugs)))

[Raiinbow08 in reply to Iloveart7]

😢 hugs xxx

[LovelySnow]

That has to be hard being separated from your family like that. It seems like you all used to be close. I'm glad you & your husband get along, though.

[Raiinbow08 in reply to LovelySnow]

It is taking its toll on me! From something as simple as watching a movie and seeing a family being happy together! ( I know movies aren’t real) but still I find myself wishing to have had that kind of life. A loving mother and father.

[Raiinbow08 in reply to LovelySnow]

And yes we get along well. I am happy that I can say at least I have someone who understands me.

[Thistooshallpass90]

I’m so sorry you are feeling that way. No one deserves that, hoping you make it out of the dark hole. <3

[Raiinbow08 in reply to Thistooshallpass90]

Thank you so much!

[Hidden]

You will be fine. I agree that you just live your life and cut them off. No worries.

[Raiinbow08 in reply to Hidden]

I am starting to believe that as well!